07/01/2014

The Daily Chatter*

07/01/2014

Roger went to a customers house yesterday and noticed that their cat was playing with a round object that he thought was probably a grape. He went on about his business and later discovered the cat was missing an eye and now that's what he thinks the cat was playing with.

Toni was hitting on our water guy this morning and was trying to get an invite to his 4th of July party.

Roger claims that he's been written up for sexual harassment at all of his past employers. Mary should have known that Roger's only Facebooked about it:
"When a man talks dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute."

"Ladies check out my schwetty balls, they're delicious."

Mary on the other hand doesn't want to write up herself for her sexual harassment behaviors. There's just too much to write and she really doesn't want to stop giving her firm open handed slaps on the behind just to remind everyone of the good job their doing, it's a bad habit she learned from "Friends".

I told Steve today that he needed to fix the bathroom door because Mary threatened to quit if anyone walked in on her and then I told Steve we would end up with only Bill. He said he would get right on it.

"This isn't freaking France, is it?" Roger to Mary about some woman with hairy armpits

"Dot won't let me buy crack anymore." Roger

"I'm an occasional prostitute, how else could I afford my new furniture." Mary

Roger took offense when Mary called him a crack head.

"I hope she's hot like Betty Rubble." Roger

I think Bill's staying away from the office because Jessica is going to kick the crap out of him for abandoning her on Sunday with his clients.

Tim was out doing something shady in the parking lot today when the Bing Camera Car drove by.

After being at the Spy Exhibit over the weekend paranoia has set in and more than usual. I thought that the fly in the office was rigged with a camera but I didn't find one when I squished it's guts out and was cursing Mr. Unnell's.

We were all reminded today as to how high Steve Lemon's voice really is. 

*not to be construed as Gossip