The Daily Chatter*
07/07/2014
I found out over the weekend that Ryan's been sending his brother and sister in law random texts with quotes from Oprah that he finds on the Starbucks sleeves and not telling them what they are. They haven't responded to a single text so obviously they think he's delusional and very gay.
Roxanne told me on Thursday she doesn't like people. Has anyone told her to get out of the hospitality business yet?
"Coming back to work is Bull Sh*t." Tim
Bill learned a new word this week, Utard.
"You haven't driven through Utah until you do it with Roxanne in the passenger seat yelling "MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR YOU STUPID UTARD!!!""
"Bill get's Toni, I get Cody." Mary
Tim sent me a link to a freaking crazy intersection that is just unbelievable.
http://devour.com/video/meskel-square-intersection-/
Roger went on a Dam Riverboat Tour over the 4th. I wonder if they used the same lines from National Lampoons Vegas Vacation?
I had this weird dream about work last night. Some company posted a time lapse video of a job being completed by us and I had a customer call and ask why and how Bill fell backwards in the video. This woman must have been one of Roger's customers because she kept asking the question over and over again as to why Bill fell. Finally I said something to the effect of, I fall every once in a while too so it's nothing unnatural.
I think Roxanne went to a nymphomaniac meeting while on vacation, seems kind of strange. Why else would someone be holding a penis balloon in the group? I guess it could have been a lesbian orgy.
Ryan and I watched the PBS special "A Capitol Fourth" and Michael McDonald was one of the singers and it appeared that he couldn't sing much anymore and that a lady actually sings most of his songs instead of him. Personally I would find that kind of embarrassing but apparently it's decent money because he's also touring this summer.
"I'll buy you dick's." Toni to Tim Seriously how many can one guy use?
"I have a problem...." Roger to Jessica
Roger says he likes gratuitous sex on tv and in movies. Maybe he needs to contact Roxanne about the meetings she went to in Utah.
Most of us around here have already taken the mental pact to never do anything socially with Crystal but obviously Jessica didn't know better for some crazy reason. She was invited by Jared to come over on the 4th, she and her husband decided to go. (Obviously Tim's vacuum story wasn't proof enough that their place was going to be a vile, horrific, ghastly, detestable and a nasty he$$ hole). She said it was the most disgusting place that she's ever been to and she had to remind us that she has done work for section 8 housing. She mentioned that she had to use their bathroom and the bottom panel of the door was cut out and she said nothing had ever been cleaned. The sad part is that's probably the bathroom that was just remodeled and you couldn't tell. As far as the door issue, Crystal told her "Don't worry nobody peeks." Then she went outside and then had to deal with Crystal and her partially paralyzed drunk neighbor while trying to give the dog it's meds. I'm pretty sure she mentioned she had so much fun that she stayed the night and just used one of the blankets that was covering their windows.
For all of you who haven't driven by their house to see the kids toys in the back yard (and apparently front yard as well) here's a little preview from Google Maps and this is from September 2011.
I looked up Hell Hole on Urban Dictionary and you have to read the sentence that they use to describe the word.
I also had to look up Matt on Urban Dictionary and he's going to get an even bigger ego.
Roger's name on the other hand was getting a little graphic, go figure.
****Warning, Apex Porn Below*****
After seeing this picture, I'm pretty sure this was Matt at Gay Pride. The picture on the right is the one that Matt left on Tim's phone when he left it in the warehouse.
*not to be construed as Gossip
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