10/31/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/31/2013

Roger dressed up as a clinically depressed flooring sales person then Mary wanted to be one too.

Roger told Jessica to tell me that I'm only mildly competant.

Oprah Winfrey called today and her number was 1-999-999-9999 but it turned out that Kiss 106.1 was calling on her behalf. 

Toni and Mary didn't know that John Ghosn is in a band named Whoopi Cat and they just performed at the Performance Grill (that the guys went to lunch to yesterday). 

Toni's the man! I can't believe that Matt Lauer beat Toni's costume though. 

 

I'm pretty sure this is what Toni was shooting for today...being he's the only one who dressed up.

"I had to drive around with Matt so I stink." Bill

"I like how self conscience you are about your life." Bill to Toni

I did my job, first question Roxanne that came out of Roxanne's mouth last night was about my comment in the Chatter. At least someone reads my crap.

Tatjana came in today and I think she thinks that we use her services......

Mary left work to go get drunk, she must be joining Matt somewhere. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/30/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/30/2013

I had more intense dreams last night, I was skiing of all things (which I haven't done in over 15 years) and there was a weird drop off at the end of one hill into a freezing cold lake. Luckily I didn't go in the lake, I may have been saved buy some furry flying creature with big sharp teeth, I'm not sure though. 

Toni did a scarey Miley Cyrus happy dance this morning all because he got a job.

Toni's also super excited that it's the Nordstrom employee shoe sale today.

I'm ticked off, I had to tell Toni he was right about some woman being named Devon. I thought that was definitely a man's name.

Bill feels like nobody listens to him just because he was talking about Starbursts roasting on an open fire instead of Skittles like I thought that he said the other day.

Jason doesn't need a costume, he had three teeth pulled today and came in to show us his gauze filled mouth.

"Gosh now you sound like Roxanne." Bill to Roger

"I wasn't after Stephanie, I was after her mother." Bill

Where the heck is Tim at when I want to yell at him????

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/29/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/29/2013

I gave Matt and Jason my permission to kick Mr. U'nnells in the balls (sorry Roxanne). They got up at the butt crack of dawn to go to a jobsite and had to be there at 5am only to find out that Bill and the superintendent rescheduled the job yesterday for another day.

It's Matt's Birthday week so Matt should be able to kick him twice.

Roger told me to leave his black briefcase with all the porn alone, he thought some of it might freak me out.

I think Bill thought that Ryan and I were fighting because I had to drive myself to work today. No it's more serious than that, Ryan's son is getting married at the end of the week and Ryan thinks he has to prep food in the evenings for the wedding since he's doing all of their food.

Mary Anne bought the car that Mary wants. I give Mary two months before she goes out and buys a better car than Mary Anne. We all know how high maintenance she is.

Mary says she has dirty secrets.

I had this exhausting dream last night that Mary and I were the only ones at the office and 20 people walked in at different times and they all wanted to see samples. One of the weird things is we had a kitchen stove over by the Dal Tile rack that we stored samples in.

Toni's concern that Pac Mat won't honor quoted pricing if Ferguson ever dies. 

This is the cat calendar that Jessica needs for next year. Tim loves looking at Jessica's cat stuff all day long.

http://lovemeow.com/2013/10/men-kittendales-2014-calendar-raises-money-for-shelter/

Toni asked us all what to get Nikki for her birthday. Bill told him a neon beer sign with a girl. 

Toni thinks he's the candy man because he's so sweet and not because he brought in five pounds of candy.

Roger finally brought in pictures from his Birthday which is pretty spectacular for Roger to bring in pictures, I know some of you understand how big of a deal this is and the rest of you will learn. I'm still mad at him because I haven't seen any of his Alaska pictures.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/28/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/28/2013

Sarah Brightman had lots of beautiful gowns and several tiara's. It's probably a good thing that I forgot my Hello Kitty Tiara because hers were very grand compared to mine.

I'm really hating Val right now, he's in Paris and he was just in London last week. 

Tim just now realized that I have a cup warmer, I think he was extremely jealous. Wait until he figures out that Bill has one too.

Tim has now turned his 2 day work week into a half day work week. I'm going to get even with him for doing this in about a month....He'll be sorry.

"You're just kind of a sneaky dude, you slither in and don't say hi to anyone." Tim to Bill

Roger said he'll throw anyone under the bus if it helps him look better.

Mr. U'nnells was talking about roasting skittles over a camp fire and asked Toni if he's ever tried them that way. I think Mr. U'nnells is high and delirious today.

I told Tim since he's missing Halloween this week, he has to dress up Monday and Tuesday in costume or else he doesn't get a paycheck.

I was actually awake for the beginning of SNL this weekend and they made a commercial for a Pumpkin Spice Douche that I thought was pretty funny so watch at your own risk.
http://entertainment.time.com/2013/10/27/snl-wants-to-sell-you-a-pumpkin-spice-douche/

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/25/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/25/2013

I came to the very sad conclusion that we're not going to get a Christmas basket from Joe and his wife this year. That's usually one of the big highlights of the season, now what?

I asked Ryan if I could wear my Hello Kitty tiara to the Sarah Brightman concert tomorrow night. I saw that she wears a tiara from time to time so I think I should be able to wear one too.

The lady at the department of licensing didn't trust Cody but she trusted Toni...what gives? Toni has shady eyes and a little rat face whereas Cody is just Mr. Cool.

Toni thinks Henry is a majestic beast.

Steve thinks that homeowners like his handsome rugged good looks. He mentioned that he likes to put on Toni's shorts before meeting homeowners. 

I technically haven't lost the bet yet, Jason rescheduled his teeth pulling for next week so it hasn't happened today. 

Toni wanted me to send Roger a mean letter today, he was feeling a little feisty. I told him the joke in our family is that my sister started off a letter to my step mother with the salutation "Yo Retard" (which she totally deserved) and Toni thought that would be acceptable for my letter to Roger.

Michael Jordan's 56,000 S/F Chicago Home is up for sale.  Parts of it look like it should be a Michael Jordan museum. I'm not sure who's going to want it at top dollar besides some over zealous fan or somebody named Michael Jordan.   

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/24/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/24/2013

Bill freaked the crap out of Tim and Toni this morning, he was here by 8am.

I told Ryan about Rogers daughters wedding in December and that they have reservations at the French Laundry and Ryan told me that they obviously need chaperone's.

Roger thinks he's over the weather today because he's not under the weather.

Toni doesn't like B.J's.

Tim can't remember where he went to lunch two weeks ago. I thought at first Bill was giving me some good gossip because he said "I went there with your daughter (Tim's daughter)" but then he mentioned that Tim went also.

"I have to grow up." Mary

Serge says he's a squirrel without a nut. What happened to his nuts?

Don't ever let Toni get mad at you because he comes back with "For every hour it takes him to get me a quote I am going to poop on his car."A turd an hour, that's pretty impressive.

"Thank-you for empowering me." Roger to Mary

Jason had a dream that I yelled at him about his time card, hopefully he'll be afraid of me now. 

Toni says don't go to The Gerald in Ballard, he thought it was awful.

Toni said he feels like his mother....Nikki really needs to start dealing with some of these issues.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/23/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/23/2013

Roger mentioned that he and Dot started receiving Living Social emails even though they didn't sign up for it. Roger said he doesn't want to live his life social, he wants to live it the way he wants to live it.

Roger still thinks I have a DUI and is concerned about me driving myself today.

"My car is like an episode of "Frasier"" Mr. U'nnells

Tim decided he's taking time off next week to go fishing, I knew I should have never shown him his commissions.

Rick thinks he's going hunting again next week. Has it been that long that he has forgotten what happened to him last time?

Mary wants to fire Roger. 

My husband had to nerve to tell me that I had a heavier foot while driving than he does. If any of you have ridden with me you would know that I'm the slowest driver out there besides Roger.

Does Matt have another rash because he thinks he's Fireballz this week. That just sounds too much like Fireball and now I want to play Fireball while drinking Fireball.

"First you have to log into the porn website for it to work." Bill to Toni

"Cheersing" another gay word that Toni knows.

"Nikki's dating a dick but at least I don't have to sit next to him all day." Mary

"Siri is a f*cking b*tch." Roger   Apparently she doesn't do sexual favors and she's not cheap to begin with.

"Hey Bill, can I grab you for a second?" I wonder how much Toni offered Bill and if Bill accepted his proposition?

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/22/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/22/2013

I'm not sure why Mr. U'nnells didn't show up to work today. Maybe he thought it was his Birthday or maybe he decided to take up golfing with Gary.

"It's like kicking a puppy and you just don't do that." Jessica

"I'm a mother, I have to worry." Mary

Tim's customer asked Toni this morning how long her carpet was going to take for the installers to install next week and man she got some interesting answers since she wouldn't take "I don't know anything about your job" for an answer. 

Paul with EWC asked me if I missed Zach.... Was I supposed to tell him that I missed him desperately and wished he would come over here for CSF's. Instead I told Paul to F*ck Off because I wanted to be like Roger.

Susie Maxwell came in today and this is the first time Tim has ever met her. Tim mentioned that Bill will be Tim's age when he finally gets to meet her.

I'm starting to think that Rick works here again.

Toni noticed that I have lots of balls today.

Since Bill was gone today, Tim has moved into Bill's office, had duplicate keys made to his BMW and he's also having dinner with Roxanne. 

Mary's not in any mood to take peoples crap this week, maybe next week.

I freaking lost a bet, Jason is actually having some teeth pulled Friday. 

I just won tickets to Sarah Brightman this weekend, very excited even though most of you won't know who that is.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/21/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/21/213

Henry survived another weekend without Toni!

Our water guy finally got to us, we've been out of water for three days now. The guy told us that he was behind because he hurt his foot but he obviously didn't realize that we've been drinking swill from the tap and we thought that we might die. It's a good thing I got my flu shot last week, that's all I can say.

Toni thought it was a crime for someone to put kitty stickers on a Mustang. It made him mad that it was parked in our parking lot most of the day.

Toni and Nikki wore an adorable couples costume for Halloween that Toni doesn't want me to share it with everyone..... 

Roger sure is testy, if you don't answer the phone "Hello Mr. Fal. Sir." I answered it A F today and he just about came unhinged.

Bill wants to know why the slowest drug deal is happening in our parking lot. 

Roger was very upset that the parking got all screwed up and that there were stray cars in our lot.

Roger thought Mary was smoking pot in our office but then he decided it smelled like Herbal tea.

"I feel like this is a Tim deal." Bill about a strange company

Tim just wanted to be argumentative today.

Toni is such a bad dad, he let Henry listen to some song about having sex while on Cocaine by Bruno Mars today.

Typhinee was swearing up a storm today over RFMS. I'm not sure if our guys are going to be able to handle her in that back room.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/18/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/18/2013

Toni's such a little girl. I told him I had a blood draw today and he told me that I should take the whole day off.

I'm very upset with Starbucks, I had to fast this morning so after I did my blood draw I treated myself to a cinnamon dolce latte and they didn't put whip on it and they left a bunch of room in my freaking cup. 

Steve told Toni that he had great child bearing hips and the even weirder thing is that Toni told me today that one of his drunk friends one time told him he was going to be a great mother someday.

"Roger's going to quit if we go to Chinese." Toni

Roger was scared yesterday that if he sat in Mr. U'nnell's chair that some of his oddities would transfer to him.

Cody says he wants to rock the Farrah Fawcett look.

Roger asked Matt for medical marijuana today.

Matt thinks Roger screwed up his back by having kinky sex. Roger blamed it on one of his customers.

Steve came up with an inappropriate question for us to ask male phone solicitors. I'll let him tell it to anyone who's curious....

Toni was scared because the back room was all talking about the Devil's Grass today. I think he thought that he could get high just from everyone talking about it. 

Help us all, I just heard that Matt's going to Vegas again. 

I had to include a little Friends on Friday crap. This is what Joey's Instagram pictures would look like if he had one.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/17/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/17/2013

I''ll probably get fired, I forgot National Bosses Day yesterday. We all should have done something nice for Mary but unfortunately Roxanne told Bill about the holiday yesterday.

Rick was here this morning and he wanted to "loan" us some tools. I'm starting to think that he's a tool salesman on the side and wants to get us hooked.

Toni thinks he lost his bet to Jessica over Henry not being a girl.

Jessica got a call from Charlie Brown today...

Poor Typhinee; Roger's been bugging the crap out of her all day.

Steve found out the hard way that we have a cleaning lady. He was apparently doing his business in our bathroom and she walked in on him. Steve claims he locked the door but now I  have to show  him how to shut the door and lock it.

Roger and Matt were doing something secretive outside in the van today.

"Stop grouping me in the same category as your mother." Mary to Bill

The guys in the back room are throwing a party because they just found out that the other sales woman will not be joining us and invading their rights in the back room.

Mary showed me this picture of a very dedicated U of O fan today who likes his junk but then I discovered that he has multiple leotards and apparently everywhere he goes he gets yellow bags.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/16/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/16/2013

Tim was disappointed that we got off to a slow start on Hump Day.

"I have to call and b*tch slap my son right now." Mary

Roger told me that Bill had a man crush on Cory our previous Beaulieu rep.

Jessica mentioned that everything has to be about her. What she doesn't realize is that we all have that attitude about ourselves around here but Mary thinks that her Ora trumps everybody else's around here and that she is the only one that everything has to be about. 

Toni told us today that he receives booty call texts occasionally from some big black dude who likes to send him pictures.

My husband told me last night that I took away the only joy he gets from cruising, which was filling out the paperwork online to board the ship. I sure hope he was kidding.

Rick was offering me 800 screws today. I'm not sure where he came up with a punch card with that many numbers.

"You better not, I'll be all over your a$$" Mary to Toni   Apparently Mary should have taken Rick up on his 800 screws offer.

Jessica sent her new customer some zucchini bread yesterday and he texted Tim a picture of it yesterday just to rub it in as to how great his life is now that he dumped Tim.


Cody was grossed out that our bathroom smelled like man.

Everyone has agreed, if Bill wants to dress up this year for Halloween it can't be something stupid like last year. I give Roxanne permission to pick out his outfit this year.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/15/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/15/2013

Bill thinks he can pass as an Asian.

Tim just wants someone to offer to take his residential customer away from him.

I have a feeling that Mary's going to change professions and become a wedding planner.

Hopefully the big pile of papers that I left on Tim's desk will keep him happy for another week.

Bill was telling us yesterday that Roxanne was heart broken that Bill didn't buy her a glass bird from the Glass Museum over the weekend for $10,000. I went to the Home Store in Federal Way last night and saw a Murano glass bird and I should have bought him one, he could have ripped off the sticker and tried etching someone's signature into the bottom of it.

Rick confirmed it today, he comes here to just look at porn with the ladies in the back room.

Rick went hunting over the  weekend and he said that everyone texted and called him so he might as well have stayed home because the animals all made fun of him.

The wedding planning drama continues...now Stephanie's wedding planner thinks that she will never be able to please Mary. I'm pretty sure that's why Mary has fired her twice so far but she's like Steve and doesn't get the picture and doesn't know how to go away.

Mary told Bill that she's sending him gross pictures. Roger came in and wanted to see the gross pictures but then he became very uninterested after hearing it was Mary's sons foot.

Typhinee told everyone in the back today that they were all lucky that I even talked to them because of their screw ups in RFMS. Typhinee's about to lose it because I'm making her fix most of those now.

Jessica told Bill that Toni f*cked up her job in RFMS.

"I'm not doing anything without a pinky swear." Mr. U'nnells  I hope he does that with all of his clients.

I almost got Roger to spray women's perfume (from Mary's desk) all over himself today but then he decided that his wife would kick him out again. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/14/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/14/2013

Happy 60th Birthday to Randy! 

I got a call from Tim on Saturday night reminding all of us ladies that he wanted to take us out to lunch on Sunday. I decided not to go, he had too many requirements and mentioned nothing about food. First he asked us to all bring several outfits for mud wrestling and then he wanted to have a jello pool and a wet t-shirt contest and the list only went on from there.

Jessica said she broke some toes over the weekend just being Jessica.

"You went to a glass museum instead of watching football...you're gay."  Steve to Bill

Roger recommended a good restaurant in his neighborhood that Ryan and I went to over the weekend but after seeing some of the people there I'm going to have to reconsider what I think of Roger and his life in downtown.

 Roger got humped by some customers dog today. He made the comment that it's such a double standard because if he screwed their dog, he would be in jail.


"I have no problems dealing with a$$holes." Tim

"I have a closet full of women's boots." Mr. U'nnells

Jessica thinks that her husband is half male half female. I wonder what he thinks about her telling people about this.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/11/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/11/2013

I obviously wanted to make a very decaf coffee this morning, I put water and the filter in but no coffee. Instead of remaking the coffee, I added some mud from Steve's boots for coloring. I wonder if Toni even noticed?

Tim thinks he got his customer back from Jessica just because he used the line "your wife loves me". I personally would have thought that would have scared his customer away from him.

Cody was willing to do sexual favors for Roger, like rub his back and make him hot cocoa for Huskies tickets.

Now I'm feeling special; two different guys in one week called me beautiful but then wanted money.

Toni told me this morning that Henry was being a little b*tch and that he wouldn't play ball with him.

 Mary's last name was misspelled as Garb today.

Roger was going on again today about how hot Crystal is.

Toni's scared to leave Henry alone this weekend. Tim, if Henry dies you're going to have to be the one to tell Toni.

No Rick today, what gives? Oh, I forgot he was going to show up on Sunday when Tim wanted to take all of us ladies out to lunch.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/10/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/10/2013

I like Typhinee already, she banks at BECU unlike Toni.

Toni invited Tim to his Octoberfest party weekend but none of the rest of us.

Roger thinks Bill's "A Straddler" because he parked over the line. 

Toni thinks he's cool because he has Scarlet Pumpkin hand soap at his home.

Tim lost a client to Jessica today. He obviously forgot that Mary wasn't the only one who could mess with his clients. I had to share Tim's dismissal email.

Tim,

As always it's a pleasure doing business with you but over time you definitely make different business acquaintances.

Today, I had the pleasure of having lunch with Jessica with A F. I just can't believe how much we have in common in the flooring world. I have decided to use her as my Apex contact moving forward.

I want to thank you for all the things you have done for me in the past and will occasionally throw a bone your way.

Best regards,

PS - I still expect to be invited on some fishing trips.

Tim was burning mad that Jessica gave Mary and Bill a loaf of zucchini bread today. He probably wanted to use a loaf to try and convince his client to stay with him.

Roger cursed me today for reminding him about one of his hot flames.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/09/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/09/2013

Rick thought I screwed up his email yesterday so that he couldn't join in on the Chatter conversation last night, he was very upset with me this morning.

Interesting that Roxanne brought up the guys going Commando last night. Toni was telling me about this incredibly horrible show yesterday that's on TLC "The Man with the 132 Pound Scrotum". 

Tim's excited about October 13, 2014 because it will at least be a Monday.

Real life Barbie shoes.

Roger told me to "deal with it" today. I would but I don't know what I'm supposed to be dealing with.

Toni wanted to know if it was gay to send smiley emoticons to other guys so instead he sent hearts and rainbows. That's what happens when he asks for Bill's advice.

I got called beautiful today even though my husband thought I was a little insane this morning, I probably looked like I was preparing for a trip to Antarctica; I had on a coat, a scarf and gloves. 

Jessica dripped carmel sauce down the front of herself today and luckily Rick was here to offer to lick it off for her.

Toni doesn't want his fish to get fat or binge eat because he doesn't want Mary to think that he's a bad father. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/08/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/8/13

I had a dream last night that Matt was irresistible to all of the women in the office...You'll know tomorrow when he starts strutting a new walk that this didn't go to his head.

Mary's afraid that Henry is going to get monster huge if Toni feeds her because she read about it happening in a Dr. Seuss book. 

Tim may have given up too soon on wanting to sell pallets for extra cash. Toni used a pallet the other night to make a similar wine rack as this.

"I know you are going to say no to this." Tim trying anyways

Bill wants me to bring a new fish in on Monday in case Henry dies over the weekend. 

Matt said he felt like an animal in the zoo because he went paddle boarding on Friday and heard the Argosy cruise tour guide mention them and how brave they were not to be wearing wet suits all of a while the tourists were taking pictures of them.

Mr. U'nnells seems to be "Full of Life" today or at least that's what his Shaw PO says.

Roger freaking tried killing me with his chair today and then he had the nerve to ask me to delete comments from The Chatter.

"Don't give Roger free reign." Bill

Don't say Slow Motion Booth to Bill he interprets it as Slow Motion Boobs.

According to The Onion "Congressional Aides Withholding Sex Until Budget Compromise is Reached."

Mary informed me today that October 13th is National No Bra Day.

Jessica told Toni that he sounds creepy on the phone.

Mary's not happy, her car is ready from the dealership but she wants to keep the loaner car that she has now.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/07/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/07/2013

Toni got a present this morning, Tim brought in Henry the female beta fish for Toni to keep at his desk.

Jessica warns people that Mary may come at them like a spider monkey.

Toni thought I was getting a little personal when I asked him how his little guy was doing. 

Roger's other love Charlize Theron had neck surgery recently so now Roger and Charlize can be scar twins, even though Roger's scar is in another place. Now Mary's going to be upset that I didn't mention anything about her neck scar but she's also not infatuated with Charlize.

Finally a conversation where it can be all about Mary besides the spider monkey comment that Jessica made.... Scarlett Johansson was named Sexiest woman Alive again but if the judges would have seen Mary they obviously would have changed their minds.

Matt asked Roger why he didn't introduce him to his daughter on his birthday. Roger told him he didn't want him becoming family. I personally think it could have been great, I could have another blog just dedicated to their crazy lives and to how crazy they make Roger.

Tim, I know I told you that I was doing your job costing sheets today but then Bill pulled rank and made me do some of his.

Speaking of Bill, Steve did a pretty good impression of Bill/Jaba the Hut today.

 Apparently you can hang anything at Toni's desk and get away with it for most of the day. He didn't discover this until 3pm today.

Howard came in today to find Mary almost face down on her desk and talking on her phone. Toni just informed Howard that she was drunk.

Jessica got a new kitten over the weekend and forgot how hyper they can be but they are so cute at that age. 

 *not to be construed as Gossip

10/04/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/04/2013

Our cleaning lady probably won't be back, Jason scared her early this morning and she didn't have her pepper spray with her.

Roger chewed the crap out of Rick today and spit him out into tiny little pieces but then went to lunch with him. Roger definitely needs to run for office.

Bill doesn't remember what he bit Roger's head off over.

Seriously, who signed me up to receive baby stuff in the mail? I'm not pregnant, I may look it but I'm not. I received three different samples of baby formula yesterday.

Roger wants to do a "Say Yes to the Dress" marathon tonight. (Just a heads up Dot)

Toni had to rush home today because he didn't want Nikki thinking that the Comcast dude was better looking than him.

Toni told us that he's going to buy an incredibly expensive Audi but then he decided on maybe just buying one tire of the Audi.

Typhinee's not going to like me much, I tried confusing her in RFMS today. Tim has his eye on her now that she's been in RFMS to help him with all of his work.

I think Rick wants to come back already, he didn't get his hunting time off at his new job.

Bill and I have a feeling that Mary wants us to work at Stephanie's wedding. I think Mary wants Bill to be on hair and makeup duty where as I will be the bouncer.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/03/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/03/2013

Happy 10th Anniversary to Steve and Jenny!

Toni thinks Bill started drinking, he received a weird text from him at 12:04 this morning about Transformers. 

Poor Tim just lost his brand new stapler due to downsizing. 

Marty got excited this morning because he thought that I was flipping him off.

Toni told me this morning that he's not smart.

"If it was (naughty) you might be able to accuse me of it." Mary 

Roger's been very disappointed lately. He said he's made a few trips to Enumclaw and hasn't seen anyone having sex with horses or horses having sex with other horses or horses having sex with anything.

According to Roger today is Dot's birthday and he said that she's old...but not as old as he is. Happy Birthday Dot!!!

Tim made my crap list today. The man couldn't even print a map quest for an installer and made me do it.

 I think the guys are getting scared that the women are taking over the office and that we're going to paint everything pink and turn everyday into a pajama party that they can't attend.

Steve can no longer be left alone in the warehouse. He just gives away stuff.

Tim tried stealing one of Mary's customers today.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/02/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/02/2013

I'm starting to think that Roxanne wasn't the only one who touched the Moose's balls on Saturday. Nikki doesn't look so innocent in this picture and I can't see her other hand.

Roger told me that he was used to weird; he mentioned he's been working with Bill, Mary and myself for quite awhile now.

Steve thought he was Tom Cruise from "Cocktail" today. Where as Bill has never heard of the movie "Cocktail", loser.

Mary was telling us about how quiet her loaner Lexus car is and Bill noticed that she left the car on when she came into the office about an hour earlier.

According to Tim, Jessica is the lying b*tch today for tattling on him.

 Cody's girlfriend approved of Toni last night.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/01/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/01/2013

Sixty days and counting till my next Southern Caribbean cruise.

I wonder if Toni is going to sign up for the Ugly Sweater run. I think that's right up his alley.

"Are we talking about mistakes that Toni's made....because that's what it's sound like." Toni to Bill and Tim

Matt pulled out in front of us on "A" Street in Auburn last night and we decided we were going to follow him to the bar but instead he pulled into a gas station to ditch us.

Toni would already like to move closer to Kent but Nikki won't let him.

Toni for some strange notion didn't think it was going to rain today. Did he not see what it did yesterday and the day before and the day before that?

Tim wants to know why on earth Mary would go or be seen at the Spot Tavern. It's kind of a sore subject because Mary had her ipad and makeup bag stolen out of her car there last night.

Toni feels as if the back room is now flooded with women.

Tim called me "a lying b*tch" today behind my back.

According to "The Onion" the "US On Verge Of Full-Scale Government Hoedown".

Jessica turned Rob formerly with Karndean gay today with her awesome boots.

Toni thought I made up Jason's email address, I told him I couldn't come up with that even if I tried.

"I'm not going to turn my phone into a Hitler." Toni

Toni upgraded his phone.

 Bill asked me where our mustache material was. We really do have a little of everything at our office.

"I'll get on my boys right now." Bill

Tim has lost his mind, he is now singing the ringtone to Jessica's phone.

"Toni's pretty good with the arts and crafts." Bill

*not to be construed as Gossip