04/01/2013

The Daily Chatter*

04/01/2013

There were three men killed at The Sports Page on Sunday at 2am, that’s always good for business. Rick’s brother left the bar right before the shooting.

Why was there another Emerald City Comicon this last weekend when they already had one at the beginning of the month? Apparently Roxanne wanted to go dressed up as Cortana but Bill told her no. I smell disaster in the air, he apparently doesn’t know that you can’t tell a woman no.

  

I love google voicemail’s translation, here’s a butt dial from Jason on Saturday. “Also, our whole Joe, okay avoid. But some horrible, hey spots.”         I've always known that you should avoid Joe but I didn't know he had hey spots, that's pretty serious. 

Tim’s giving us terrible excuses as to why he won’t be here tomorrow. We're just going to have to order in Cave Man food and have cake since he doesn't want to be here with us.

Toni doesn’t want his candy mixed up, it’s not Kosher with him.

“Not right now and probably not later.” Toni’s nice way of saying no

Bill said he won an argument this weekend but he doesn’t realize that there’s he$$ to pay later.

Roxanne broke a couch at the Pittock Mansion this last weekend.

Speaking of blunders, I forgot to tell Ryan about this yesterday, I wanted to wait till after we left the restaurant, I didn’t need him embarrassing me. I’m banning myself from Chocolate Fountains from now on. I made another complete disaster of everything around the chocolate fountain yesterday so I probably won’t be able to return to the Lobster Shop now I also did this on our Princess Cruise the night of the Chocolate Buffet.

I swear Roger hears some of the craziest things. This morning at the doctor’s office he heard someone say in a roundabout way that was the last time they were going to pray for their mother.

“There’s not a damn thing you can do about it, except die.” Roger as he finished Mary’s sentence

“I have sh*tty luck with stock.” Roger     I now know who not to ask him for stock advice.

Tim would like us to shoot him if he uses a certain contractor for tile again.

“Nobody could boss Mary around.” Bill

“They dig me, what’s not to like.” Bill

“I don’t want trouble from Mary.” Roger

Joe seriously leaves everything lying around. Toni found his wallet this morning and all the pictures inside of it.

Toni came in super excited that he had stickers for our phones and calculators. I turned him away because I’m sure they were rainbow and Barbie stickers. If he would of had fuzzy scratch and sniff kitty stickers I would of been all over it. 

 Toni thinks his email may be broken. Did he drop it on the ground? Or did the internet box fall off of Big Ben?

In the spirit of April Fools here’s a headline on a magazine.

*not to be construed as Gossip