03/17/2015

The Daily Chatter*

03/17/2015

Happy St. Patrick's Day! 

All I can say is that all of the guys wanted to be Roger yesterday. Cody now wants to be a sales person and go measure houses regardless of Roger's other odd stories of walking over crippled people when entering a home and some of the horrible stenches. Roger showed up at someone's home yesterday, he rang the doorbell and the lady said "just a minute" she then proceeds to open the door in her panties, tank top and no bra. Amazingly enough this wasn't an ugly chick (like you would expect with Roger's luck), this was the 25 year old grand daughter of the homeowner. She then proceeds to show Roger around the house and then Roger notices not only is she in her underwear but they are sheer and see through in the back. A few minutes later she mentioned that she would be right back and she goes and puts on a University sweatshirt and nothing else. At the end of the measure she asked Roger if he wanted some coffee. Roger being the nice guy that he is of course agreed to this because he loves coffee and they had a frothier, what more could a guy ask for? Within a few awkward minutes he ended up being in some weird porn shoot for "Buffay the Vampire Layer" (he's not even sure how all of the dudes got there) and he was the one wearing the sheer panties, a rubber nose, face paint and colorful curly hair. Roger claims his coffee was drugged but I think it was just an excuse that he was going to tell his wife. Roger mentioned that one of the guys looked like Toni so it was a very natural experience (whatever that means). I'm not sure how they knew this (because this is a huge Roger fetish) but they had massive amounts of cotton candy for Roger to roll around in and he turned himself into a giant cotton candy man. In Roger's defense I'm sure that he talked a lot and told plenty of stories while this whole mess was going on and he even apparently answered the door for the Jehovah's Witnesses that came by. After the porno was complete, Ashton Kutcher sprang out of the closet and Punk'd him so now he has that show to look forward to. I'm sure Ashton and the others are grateful for the extensive knowledge that Roger provided to them about his beloved Clown Porn. The really odd thing is Krusty the Clown, Homey the Clown and The Insane Clown Posse have already called the office trying to get Roger's information, they for some reason think he's a genius.

Has anyone seen Roger's back lately? It's getting a little scary. I'm afraid of what he'll add next.

 

 "Am I offending you? I can say much worse." Mary

Cody gave us all leprechaun names today and I was Adorable O'Lucky.

"I'm not racist or anything but is Toni Asian?" some dude on the phone who was very confused about our company

*not to be construed as Gossip