03/15/2013

The Daily Chatter*

03/15/2013

I was starting to think that maybe the VW Touareg in our parking lot was Tim’s and he was just storing it here so that his wife wouldn't find out but then I saw the owner today. Toni seemed to be a little embarrassed when I screamed that he was right that it was the Asian guy next door who owns it, while the guy was walking by our window. I have to fill in for Roger with rude remarks while he’s out of the country.

As if yesterday’s Carnival ship problem wasn’t enough, another carnival ship is having issues today but they claim it’s a technical problem and are unable to sail at optimal speed so they are skipping one of the islands and going back to port. I think I would want to go to the island and get the heck off the ship before major problems occurred.

Last weekend Ryan and I were walking around JC Penney’s and we found the gay department, there’s no other way to describe it. There were all sorts of interesting colors of men's pants and shirts that normal men wouldn’t dare to wear.

Matt gave me several kisses with chocolate covered nuts today. So now I think I’m special until I have to explain things to Ryan tonight.

Thanks to me, Roxanne had a lesbian dream last night.Your welcome Bill!

Mary and her party b*tches discovered yesterday that they aren’t wild and drunk enough when they go out on the town. They heard a story about some lady taking off her pants and setting them on the chair next to her at the bar because she spilled a drink on herself and on top of it the woman wasn’t wearing any underwear.

I told Bill that I wanted to frame one of Mary’s purchase orders because I don’t know how the crap she did it but she defied the laws of Kashmoo. I know it’s mean of me to make fun of her on a day that she’s having minor surgery and can’t defend herself.

Guess who got her tubes tied and who’s nasty scarred up stomach I had to look at today. I’ll give you a hint; she's the vacuum queen. 

Roger’s really into Clown Porn, I wonder what he thinks of Panda Porn. I just read about it on MSN today. 

Kind of awkward but understandable, Bill wanted to text Toni that his mom was hot when he was out in the parking lot with her today.

Roger saw a tombstone of Mary Kendall from the 1600’s and she was a  pioneer in the lesbian movement and apparently Bill and Roger both think she’s a relative of mine. I’ll have Roger research it since he’s an expert on Ancestry.com.

Dot posted this on Facebook about their trip “Great London city tour today - but best "find" was the boarding house where Roger lived for 6 months in 1974 - he was 21 and the nightly rate was 1 pound :)”

"It's not a party unless Tim's there." Mr. U'nnells

"It's the shifty mustache." Bill about Tim

Toni and Bill are throwing a huge St. Paddy's Day Party on Monday so come prepared in green. 

Toni doesn't want me to say this but.....I guess I can't because he's my Amigo. 

Bill claims he hasn't done all of the man testing on Toni yet.

Howard couldn't believe that Bill's girlfriend was real, he wanted to see pictures.

*not to be construed as Gossip