03/07/2013

The Daily Chatter*

03/07/2013

I told Toni that the best revenge he could have given Bill was to have sex with Roxanne when she came in last night on anyone’s desk.

Hmmm…Bill’s rental car was here first thing this morning yet Bill was nowhere to be seen. I just don’t get it because he left with Roxy last night. Toni’s pretty sure they were playing pickup sticks all last night and lost track of the time.

Roger thought I was attacking him this morning.

My computer smells like burning plastic today, that’s always a good sign.

Bill came in at 10am and had to do the walk of shame after being dropped off.

Toni and Rick were pretty sure that I was just rummaging through everyone’s computer today to find out gossip. I think that’s why Rick and Toni didn’t want to leave their computers apparently they must have some good crap on there.

Tim figured out if Roger keeps his mouth full he can’t talk.

Got to love Stephen Colbert, he claims Jon Stewart is taking the summer off to rule the country of Venezuela. 

 

“That is such Bullsh*t. I just need to figure out how to get ahead.” Tim as he’s scheming to keep money from his wife.

Mary said she thought she was going to die on the phone today and she was afraid that her co-workers would just fight over her food leftovers. She apparently doesn’t think much of us.  

“I can’t think and choke at the same time.” Mary

I received a work email today that said “Hello Bro” in the subject line, thanks solicitor for calling me a man!

Bill claims he was up all night with Roxanne because she had a migraine. Toni wanted to know what Bill hit her with.

I know I should be nice to Bill because he wrote me out a formal apology yesterday for almost killing me when I had to find him Kleenex but being nice is hard. Maybe I'll be nice on Friday.

Rick’s been complaining about sweating in our sweatshop, what gives?

Mary admits to being a b*tch. 

According to Toni Motley Crue was in here today. 

*not to be construed as Gossip