12/17/2014

The Daily Chatter*

12/17/2014

I informed Roger today that he could not eat our new bathroom hand soap (Lemon Meringue Cheer) and I also warned him that if he said something inappropriate that would not be the soap that we washed his mouth out with.

Howard says that I need to be asking Ryan for my cut of his game money since he plays football for the Arizona Cardinals. For some reason that doesn't look like my husband and to top it off this skinny punk is 10 years younger than I am and he's making me feel old.

"I can do anything." Typhinee   "That's why we're scared of you." me

Mary told Typhinee she has a job for life because she doesn't want to double cross her after she's been watching serial killer documentaries.

"I think I was just solicited for prostitution. As a prostitute by a truck driver named Chuck." Toni

"Are you talking about Roxanne?" Bill  "Yes we are always talking about Roxanne." me

The BMW guy a few doors down now has an older BMW that he is driving. Why is he still parking in the same place? Maybe he's embarrassed by his older BMW?

I'm about to kill one of Toni's contractors for being ridiculously confused. I think she drinks all day because Toni's had weird run ins with her too.

According to Toni, Chuck the truck driver was a pretty good lay.

"When you get to my age, that can kill you." Tim

Bill said he likes his car because it knows how to hug him. (He thinks there's a special button for that.)

"Jared's my guy." Bill to Tim

Bill just noticed that someone spilled coffee next to the island (which has been there for a few weeks now).

Toni doesn't like Jimmy Buffet yet he likes the Pina Colada song. 

"Believe it or not, I'm normal." Roger

We heard a rumor today that icork is moving....Toni's going to lose his honey.

"Just today alone, Roger has called you three worse things than that." Bill to Toni

"I was alone last night...it was really sad." Bill about his patheticness problems

Most of the US movie theaters have pulled the movie "The Interview" after Sony received 9/11 like threats from North Korea.

*not to be construed as Gossip