06/30/2014

The Daily Chatter*

06/30/2014
 

"I hear weird noises." Cody   It was just Matt. 

Roxanne claims that Bill's not in charge of their social scheduling and that she is. So please contact her if you need him to do anything that he finds not to be work related.

Matt has a friend named Snake Dog. Do we really want Matt working for us?

Mary told Teri that Matt's actually good looking under all of that hair. I'm glad that Teri got to witness first hand the sexual harassment that goes on around here from Mary. FYI boys, the bathroom door isn't locking correctly (because of Matt and Steve) and you know how Mary loves to walk right in on cute guys.

Roger asked if he had to be on good behavior if Teri has a desk in the backroom and in response Roger said "Oh F*ck". He's not going to be happy having more women back there and either is Tim.

"What a stud." Cody about Toni

OMG my husband is catching Tim's disease of saying Yes to people other than me.  There better be a cure or I'm going to slap the s&%@ out of him, I'm not going to have a second Tim on my hands.

Mary told Matt and Steve to come out of the bathroom together because Gay Pride Weekend was over.

This is all Roger's fault, I mentioned to him last week that Ryan and I were planning on going to the Pacific Science Center on Sunday for the Spy Exhibit and he forgot to mention to me that the Seattle Pride was going on yesterday. So Ryan and I accidentally ended up at Gay Pride Seattle. We looked all over the place for Toni but I think he was hiding from us. For the most part it ended up being a ton of guys wearing speedos and fat dikes showing too much skin. There are some things that I will never be able to erase from my memory like a dude wearing shells over his ding dong. I felt like Phoebe and wanted to scream "My Eyes!"

For the record all Roger could say was "Maybe this would be a good time for Ryan and you to examine your life choices."

Speaking of life choices it sounds like Mary's husband did a little experimenting this weekend.  I heard he was kissing dudes at some bar on Capital Hill.

Yes that guy is a fox wearing a bra and some sort of a tutu or a very short skirt with awesome fur boots and a tail. 

**I'm pretty sure that's Toni in that picture, he didn't deny it when I asked him this morning.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/27/2014

The Daily Chatter*

06/27/2014

Roger thinks I'm a terrorist because I told him I've been to the FBI Headquarters in DC. What would really freak him out is to know that I was 12 at the time.

Jessica told me that she talked to some chickens today in Seattle. I think she really needs to start taking medication for that.

"...otherwise I might not ever be back in again."  Steve about his job for this weekend going well

Bill said he's going to get his TSA Prescreen Card but obviously he's not going to pass because of his background and all of his aliases. Hopefully this will help raise a red flag for Roxanne, poor girl I just don't know what else I can tell her to make her realize he's trouble.

I think Joe brings Ella into the office so that we'll like him more. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/26/2014

The Daily Chatter*

06/26/2014

According to Roxanne her shoes smelled like allergies last night.

Reality hit Jessica hard today, that sub doesn't have the same hot helper anymore. So we won't be using him.

"If they're in the carpet rack, I don't know what I'm going to do." Mary about Bill and Roxanne making out.

It's a good thing Roger wasn't here today otherwise he would have scared off Mary's side kick.

Toni had someone pull prices out of their a$$ today at Florida Tile and then she tried quoting him a different price for the same item later in the same phone call. She was so messed up that she shouldn't have been allowed to answer the phone, it didn't sound like she knew anything.

Customers shouldn't be allowed to sound out Typhinee's name on phone messages. We had a lady do that last night and then she spelled it out. I having a feeling that if Roger were President he would make stupid people illegal.

Tim can seriously sell anything.

Hmm, Toni said he was rolling around on the carpet racks and wanted me to de-fur his back.

Typhinee played Vanna White at Costco today. Jessica made her pose with the sample racks.

Toni wants me to get my mind out of the gutter.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/25/2014

The Daily Chatter*

06/25/2014

Tim's having an awesome day, he had to go to Birch Bay (might as well have been Canada) and he forgot his phone.

Josh thought that Randy (Mary's husband) was a client of Rick's. What has Randy been doing behind Mary's back with Rick?

I have to share this even though it's mean. Mary wanted to know if she could retrieve an email today. Apparently she sent one of her smutty love letters to the wrong guy so now she has a date with Jamal tonight instead of Kevin, I'm sure she'll make the most out of it though.

Jessica thinks she has a gorgeous subcontractors helper lined up for us. If so I'm sure that we'll be using him all of the time from now on or until Toni scares him off.

Thanks to Tim for being such a great role model, Garret left his phone in his car and didn't take it to the jobsite with him.

Roxanne doesn't know what to do after being mad at someone. Mary suggested drinking of course.

I apparently should be in control of what Roger says on FB. 

"Try to find a payphone anymore." Tim

"Matt did that and that." Steve about the blemishes on the doors

"We're not going to do this the La Marr way." Mary to Steve

Mary called Tim a liar, she really should have called him a doctor.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/24/2014

The Daily Chatter*

06/24/2014

Roger says he has no complaints but he thought that status would change at about 9am this morning so check his FB page, he makes a ton of posts per day.

Here are all of Roger's FB posts just from yesterday morning, the afternoon posts got a little raunchy so I won't share those.
"Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose."
"I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."
"You don't sweat much for a fat chick."
 "I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
" Dot's the luckiest woman in the world because she married me." 
"Without ME, it’s just AWESO."
"I swear I just saw Tupac at my favorite Stripclub, I didn't know he was into guys."
"I wish I was back in Chicago, Wayne Newton digged me....if you know what I mean."

I'm pretty sure Roger thought he was going to get one of these awesome outfits like Wayne gave out in "National Lampoons."

"I didn't know I wasn't allowed to complain about myself." Roger to me

Matt feels old, his son is turning 15 today and he realized that's how many years he's been out of high school.

"Your not contagious are you?" Roger to Tim    "Not unless we rub a$$holes." Tim to Roger

"Is that a thing?" Bill about Tim's comment

 "I'm a guy, my memory works different." Mr. U'nnells

Bill mentioned sex is making him sick.

Toni wins the prize for f*cking Tim over and making him go to Birch Bay tomorrow.

"I'm usually the MILF unless your mom is around." Mary to Toni

Typhinee now calls herself the Work Order Nazi.

"Now you can get off my a$$." Mary to Typhinee

"I'm braindead." Toni   I think it's from reading all of Roger's FB comments today.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/23/2014

The Daily Chatter*

06/23/14

Typhinee and Roger really need to be careful at Costco. Ryan and I watched the movie "The Watch" and aliens invaded a Costco store in Ohio and some of them looked like humans. If you ever climb down underneath the meat section and approach aliens remember that you can only kill them in their crotch region.

You all are going to be jealous, Roger and Dot saw the very plasticy Wayne Newton at Wrigley Field.

"She's not the boss of me." Bill about Roxanne   "She gets me to do things but she tricks me, it pisses me off that she's outsmarting me."

Ryan thought we were going to a petting zoo yesterday. I think he was probably glad these kitties were in cages when we got there. 

"This is what happens when you associate yourself with old f*ckers." Tim to Bill

Bill is worse than a child, he found a room freshener in the cabinet today and he had to know what it was otherwise I think he was going to eat it. 

"American Student Ends Up Trapped in a Giant Vagina Sculpture." MSN about some 20 year old in Germany and it took 22 rescue workers to get him out. Wonder what his rescue bill will be?

I'm about to start a Facebook Page informing people that Tim needs to go to the Doctor's office, he claims he's getting better but none of us are believing him.

Toni and I were looking through some old Newcastle golf tournament pictures today and he didn't recognize Matt in the pictures. It's probably because Matt's face and chest (he was shirtless) were very almost hairless.

Roxanne is asking for old pictures of Bill and I'm very upset that she didn't come to me first because I have several great ones from old Chatter's.

*not to be construed as Gossip