08/18/2014

The Daily Chatter*

08/18/2014

"Drop your pants, I'll look at it." Bill to Toni

It was so nice of Bill to invite me out on his boat but I'm going to have to decline because I'm busy that day/year.

"Joe is my bitch and I like it." Mary

"He's got big balls." Tim

"I know it's very anal of me but I can't help myself." Mary

"Crystal is brutal, she wouldn't stop talking." Tim about Saturday

"Don't say goodbye, a$$hole." Tim about Bill

 Tim apologized in advance to his son on Saturday for what he was about to do to him.

Ryan and I went to dinner at The Cheesecake Factory last night and they sat us in the bar which was fine but they sat us at a crammed two top table with people on each side of us. The tables were so close together that it was impossible to not know the other persons conversation. The two people to my left were on their first date, he was aggressive, she was a dumb a$$ who couldn't pull her life together. Then two different sets of people sat next to us on my right. The second batch had a very heavy girl in shorty shorts who apparently thought she ordered brown rice when she clearly ordered white rice and then she sent her food back when she got the white rice because she was worried about complex carbohydrates. Seriously she was Shamu in shorty shorts it wasn't going to matter. Then after dinner we went to Starbucks and Ryan ordered a frappicuno and they didn't have the right lid so he didn't get his whipped cream and they also apparently didn't know how to blend it. I almost decided to call it a night right then and there because I didn't need anything else to tick me off.

I told Ryan at dinner I wish I could have done something like this to the diners next to us.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA1J-raGinQ

*not to be construed as Gossip