07/13/2015

The Daily Chatter*

07/13/2015

Some woman at the road show asked Roger about his scar on his neck yesterday. She probably wanted to make sure that he wasn't in a gang.

Roger told Josh that his smartphone wasn't very smart today.

"Maybe she's old like me and doesn't remember sh*t." Tim


Tim is expecting a new grand baby in a about eight months. I actually kept that a secret for about a week, Bill didn't believe me.

"I'm a mess, I'm just falling apart." Mary

"The only way I'm having surgery in Tijuana is if i get shot there and have no other choice but to die." Roger

One of Roger co-stars from "Cheers" died, Roger Rees. I think I remember him mostly for being the Sheriff of Rottingham in "Robin Hood: Men In Tights".

"Your husband is a bad a$$." Toni to Mary

Roger had to make up some celebrity customer so that he could compete with Mary.

I read some questions that doctors normally ask patients who are sociopaths. I'm now concerned for Dot because Roger's answers were very alarming as usual. 
1. Are you superficially charming and intelligent?....of course I am
2. Do you have delusions or other signs of irrational thinking?....No, Google Brain is real I tell you
3. Are you overly nervous or do you have other neuroses?...Somebody once told me that I did but they're gone now
4. Are you reliable?...reliable as Charlie Sheen
5. Do you tell lies or say insincere things?...all the f*cking time that's why I'm in sales
6. Do you feel remorse or shame?...what the he$$ is that?
7. Is your behavior anti-social for no good reason?...No but I hate people
8. Do you have poor judgement and fail to learn from experience?..I know everything, stop talking, you bore me
9. Are you pathologically egocentric and incapable of love?...Of course not, everybody loves me
10. Do you generally lack the ability to react emotionally?...I don't give a f*ck
11. Do you lack insight?...Absolutely not, I have plenty of insight, I watch "Seinfeld" which was produced by my idol Larry David
12. Are you responsive to others socially?...I answer calls at work every once in awhile
13. Are you a crazy party fiend?...No because I can't make my party fliers at the Fed Ex store anymore since they kicked me out and asked me to never return.
14. Do you make false suicide threats?...Everyday, I like to get out of going to work
15. Is your sex life impersonal, trivial or poorly integrated?.. No, my current wife isn't a lesbian like the first one and the guys at work are constantly riding me.
16. Have you failed to follow a life plan? I don't need a life plan, I'm just waiting for the Apocalypse

*not to be construed as Gossip