11/23/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

11/23/2020

I was shocked to hear that Josh was already back to work today.

Toni takes the sign on his door very seriously especially when you stand at it and talk about your step daughter bobbing for marshmallows and you have no idea what that refers to. 

Last week somebody sat on our front steps and took off their socks and ate an ice cream drumstick. I would say this person was hallucinating and thinking that they were having hot flashes even though it must have been the middle of the night. 

Leave it to Tim to volunteer himself to drive far away to show the department of fish and wildlife something.  

Don't ever wear too much cologne around Steve because he'll threaten to open the doors and air out the building while calling you a French whore. 

Good grief, CenturyLink field has a new name, it's now Lumen Field. As if it matters, I still call the Federal Way Mall the Seatac Mall and how many years has it been. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/27/2020-11/03/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

10/27/2020-11/03/2020

Steve needs to hurry back, Bill's trying to sell only re-grout jobs.

Bill asked me if I was ready for Halloween last week, I told him I was and that I was going to be Sexy Steve this year and just grow out my facial hair and put on a flannel. Bill told me that if I could do that I would definitely tick Matt S. off if I could grow facial hair faster than him. 

Roxanne doesn't want to be called a Millenial.

Ashley has found the ultimate good time, drive through strippers in Portland. 

Tim left us over the weekend for a nice warm trip to San Diego. I could use some of that sun right now, I'm already tired of our one day of rain. 

According to Bill "Ashley is super wisdomsy"

My phone was trying to pair with Mary's ipad the other day and she naturally thought it was Phoebe Buffay doing it. 

"Anyone who has or will do their own flooring will die, it's a fact." Mr. U'nnells given as the explanation for Sean Connery's death at age 90. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/20/2020-10/23/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

10/20/2020-10/23/2020

"I'm not sure why Steve isn't back to work yet? He shot his deer now he needs to come home." Bill on Tuesday and today I don't think he wants him back.

Bill wants to know why I'm only nice to random strangers.

Strange, Michael claims he got VD from hunting and he's very willing to talk about it. 

Since we can't get together in groups at restaurants for holiday gatherings can we still have our strip club holiday traditions if we don't eat or drink?

Here's some pictures from the second day of our trip when we took a boat ride from Dubrovnik to the Island of Lokrum where we relaxed and enjoyed the beautiful scenery and wandered through the old ruins of the Benedectine Monastery. This island was another location where "Game of Thrones" was filmed so we definitely started feeling that we pulled all of these locations off of a tour. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/19/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

10/19/2020

Bill said it was good that Steve finally shot something while out hunting because there were going to be rumors if he continued going out in the woods with a group of guys and never bringing back anything. 

Facebook recommended these items for me today. I think I must be beyond bat sh*t crazy.

Tim yelled at me this morning for not sharing any of my vacation pictures yet. I told him I am so far behind on sorting them out but here's some of Dubrovnik that I have. I loved this place, beautiful limestone paved pedestrian streets, empty museums and restaurants but the cats clearly weren't scared of Covid they ruled the city, they were everywhere. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/15/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

10/15/2020

Bill banned Ashley from ever going on vacation again because when she plans them disasters seem to happen at the same time (Covid and then the California Fires). 

Bill is now allowing us to take days off (except Ashley) if we get a flu shot because that's why he's taking tomorrow off. 

Steve thinks he's moving to Tamarack,  Idaho. 

Bill thinks it's a good idea for Toni to answer the phones from now on. Apparently Faith and I must not be qualified. 

Toni loves how Tim always gets him to do the things he doesn't want to do. 

I told Bill that I was going to send Roxanne flowers just for having to put up with him and his continual nauseating remarks about him being a television star. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/06/2020-10/14/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

10/06/2020-10/14/2020

What happened while I was gone because Tim's worked later than me a few nights.

Leave it to Asians to make great doughnuts.

Tim's pretty spry or he really wants an L&I claim, he seems to be able to climb the racks still. 

"I think Toni's selling children on the black market, something fishy is going down." Bill after seeing Toni send Lou to his parents

Roxanne needs to learn how to do text to speech while not yelling "Fu**er" at another driver. 

Michael went moose hunting but Bill's concerned because he didn't come back with a hood ornament. 

Tim thinks that I dressed like an airline stewardess today and Ashley's been asking me for peanuts all day. At least Ashley said she would get me a real airline pin since her dad is a pilot. 

Michael finally asked where Jason was today. He mentioned he didn't see him in his corner office. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/14/2020-9/18/2020

The Daily Chatter*

9/14/20-09/18/2020

Steve would like us all to address him by his new nickname "Sexy Steve". 

Tim saw Kellen the other day. 

Bill wanted to set Ashley up with Kellen but then I tried to remind him that I though Kellen had a girlfriend but then again he thought that I was married to a chick. I need to hang a white board of employee facts on his wall.

Tim is thoroughly disappointed with me and my delay on The Chatter. I told him he could write it the next two weeks while I'm on vaction. 

Mary was called the Gem of our company by a customer and she only read that part of the review to Bill twice so far. 

Bill wanted to pay the vet to keep Ashley's dog so that Ashley couldn't go on vacation next week. Turns out the smoke is going to keep her from going on vacation. 

Michael told me to watch "Taken 1 & 2" and "The Bourne Identitiy" before leaving for Europe tomorrow. 

I feel like I'm turning into Roxanne, two covid tests in two days.  

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/08/2020-09/11/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

09/08/2020-09/11/2020

Bill told me that I couldn't for vacation on the 19th because I'll miss Roger's birthday. 

Oh good somebody brought us the Christmas lights this week for the Christmas tree that they dumped in our dumpster last week. 

Tim chewed out Ashley for not saying hi to him on Thursday. I think he's a little moody right now because he filled up his boat with gas and lost his phone all in the same day.

Mary and Randy celebrated their 37th wedding anniversary on the 10th.

FYI, I learned that "Twilight" is only based in Forks and they didn't actually film much there, most of it was filmed in Oregon.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/01/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

09/01/2020-09/04/2020

Faith received a Facebook request from our old Veep.

Tim's son walked in and saw Tim in a mask and said "I see you're cooperating". Wait until this gets out to the rest of his family. 

Some of us want to know why we didn't get Peppermint Schnapps from Michael like some other people around here did?

"Isn't it time for your weekly co-vid test?" One of Roxanne's friends to her 

Ashley is asking us already to pray for her liver for this coming weekend. 

I'm a moron, we had a different UPS driver deliver some tools to us for one of our neighbors and I just couldn't keep my mouth shut and told him to take them back.

Bill's excuse for leaving today was that Steve and Ashley weren't here and that pissed him off and he had too much work to do. 

Everybody looked at me funny today when I said I was going to hang out in Forks for my holiday weekend and no I'm not a "Twilight" fan. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/26/2020 to 8/31/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

08/26/2020-08/31/2020

Bill was insulted that Tim and Toni didn't want to have lunch with him. In their defense they probably heard about the two gallons of ranch dressing that Bill accidentally made and is using on everything. 

I think Bill was listening to a recording on Roger's thoughts because he was in his office laughing half of the day on Wednesday. 

Ashley doesn't seem to like Architects from San Francisco.  

Steve has decided that Ashley and Toni need to share a sauna for their office. 

We now have a dead Christmas tree in our dumpster. I would have thought somebody might have had time to clear that out during Quarantine Days. 

Antifreeze is Tim's new answer for dealing with crazy family members.

"My life compared to yours is pretty good." Tim to Bill

Mary found out over the weekend that her daughter and her family are moving into her house tomorrow so she's just a little stressed. 

Bill and Toni had a conversation about grabbing each other in Toni's office. Needless to say I won't be going out to Toni's office anymore when he has the door closed. 

One of our contractors knew that Ashley was from Battleground and Bill and I didn't even know that. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/18/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

08/18/2020-08/25/2020

I feel incredibly smart, I knew the name of our hockey team Kraken before Bill did and he also didn't know about the name change on Climate Pledge Arena. I do know that he can still kick my butt in "Friends" and "Seinfeld" trivia quotes. 

Bill did not call his wife a hypochondriac like she accused him of.  Personally it just sounds like Roxanne has really good taste in where to go to have multiple Covid tests taken, women want to see all of their firemen options when taking these sort of tests. 

Just because I got the date and the number of gun shot woulds mixed up (because they were right next to each other), technically 17 gun shot wounds is still multiple and the suitcase killer article only said multiple so I still could be right. 

Steve and Toni have obviously been too busy to get up and use the bathroom because we discovered they've been peeing all over their carpet. It was embarrassing when they made us get the landlord involved yesterday to say it was water seeping in from outside the building. 

Bill discovered another way to torture his children over the weekend by letting them play in his high powered sprinkler system. 

Thank-you Michael for feeding all of us today but you know that we'll just whine at you until you bring more food in. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/17/2020

The Daily Chatter*

08/17/2020

Michael came into work today at 3pm to relax. I'm pretty sure going to Sarah's and having a bottle of wine with her chickens would have been a much better option.

Why is it that Steve is constantly complaining that he's sore on Monday mornings. Last Monday he thought he pulled his right butt cheek muscle.

Bill ticked Steve off and called him Jason last Wednesday so they're still on the outs.

Hopefully that will be the last time that Michael sends an installer a work order with two addresses. He had a client last week where we were supposed to remove an entry mat from an outdoor doorway so that the homeless would quit sleeping on it and instead our installer tore out the entry mat at the other address. I thought it was a genius move for telling the other client that they also need to consider a new entry mat.

Michael thinks Ashley will be pushing only Mohawk samples from now on. The new rep came in last week and introduced himself and he looks like a youngin even though he's probably too old to be her type.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/03/2020

The Daily Chatter*

08/03/2020

Ashley and I both hiked Snow Lake on Saturday except she did the one at Snoqualmie and I did the one at Mount Rainier.

Ryan and I watched "Ford V Ferrari" on Saturday night and I felt like I was doing what Toni's work outing was going to be but only with major social distancing.

I'm still pathetic, I'm still sorting out pictures from Colorado but I found a few of my favorites from Estes Park where we stayed to be near Rocky Mountain National Park. The coyote picture is one of my favorites because I saw him standing on a rock in the middle of a river trying to fish right alongside the highway and right around the bend was a very popular tubing spot with a ton of people.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/31/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/31/2020

Ashley wasn't thrilled that the vet called her dog chunky...

Bill thought the dog's name was Tequila instead of Kahlua.

Why is it that Steve was the only one who got asked to go out on Tim's boat today?

Bill got played by his adorable daughter, she didn't grow three inches in three months, she stood on her tippy toes for him and when she did it for Roxanne she caught her.

I came up with something very insightful today and it probably scared my husband when I said it. The earth must be flat and that's why they're taking down all of the Christopher Columbus statues.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/28/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/28/2020

Mary told Bill to feed pizza to his pesky raccoons that he thinks have been coming into his yard at night because she did that once and they never came back (even though she thought they were cute).

Bill and I are starting to think that Roxanne wasn't taught how to play Battleship by the real rules. I think maybe she got the Phoebe version growing up.

Tim finally took home his popcorn maker and Bill yelled good luck to Donna.

I've been horribly slow at sorting out my vacation pictures but here are some of my favorites from a hike that we took outside of Vail, Colorado that was to a place called Hanging Lake that was nestled in between some magnificent canyons and unfortunately the pictures don't do any of it justice.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/24/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/24/2020

Mary seems to be going through her streak of having clients with similar last names again just so that it confuses all of us. 

Toni and I are wondering how one of Tim's clients had a picture of Tim from his wedding day.

Ashley thinks we need Safe words for crazy customers like the ones that we had today who were high, bickering and asking the most ridiculous questions but in Ashley's world she doesn't like dealing with any customers so I think she would panic and use the safe word with all of them.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/23/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/23/2020

I got a huge "crap" on the phone from Roxanne when I answered it this morning. Apparently she's not much of a morning person.

Ashley and I want to know what we did to deserve a little something extra from Marty today? Phoebe said it best.

For some reason it sounds like Michael would have no problem moving to Tonasket with my dad and escaping all of us.

Ashley should be in a better mood from now on, she has completed the Oregon contractors testing.

As a reminder, tonight is one of the last nights to be able to see the comet Neowise. This is our picture from Alki on Saturday night, I couldn't believe how many people were there with expensive cameras and crazy long lenses.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/22/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/22/2020

Bill was ready to yell at an installer for bringing in metals to his office but it turned out to be Steve and we can't seem to fire him because he just continues to show up.

"I always thought that Les Schwab had a tack dropping truck." Bill

Ashley's offended that Faith called her a name for staying home yesterday. In Ashley's defense it sounded like she had a really good weekend hangover going on so kudos for showing up on Monday.

Steve was actually picking up after Toni today, Steve's wife is going to be very jealous.

Bill mentioned yesterday that his daughter grew three inches in the last few months and I interpreted it as Roger's hair grew three inches. Why is it that Roger always steals the spotlight from everybody's story?

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/20/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/20/2020

Toni was mentioning on Friday how much he loves Tim stories and then proceeded to tell the disgusting cow stories.

Speaking of Tim stories, he's going to have to fill us in on how he knew that this seal was giving birth on the dock. He said that the baby seal had been born within the last five minutes of this picture.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/16/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/16/2020

Now Ashley and I are very confused as to where Faith walks during her breaks. She was talking about murder scenes (animal entrails) near some woods and railroad tracks.

I thought I made something Toni proof and put Steve in charge but no that didn't seem to work. Are we going to have to hire more adults like Faith or do I need to become a little scarier to deal with?

One of our reps had a great story about GB today, she claimed that during the midst of the pandemic he called her and started the conversation by swearing at her relentlessly that his carpet wasn't in town and how it was going to ruin his customers life. She retaliated and got to call him an a$$hole in front of her young kids and then by the end of the conversation he had invited her to stop in for drinks with him sometime.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/15/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/15/2020

"Remind me to not let you watch my kids. Who does that to a schluter book?" Bill about loaning Ashley his schluter book that the pages were all stuck together

"Where's the yellow shirt? Did Steve make fun of it too much?" Ashley to Bill   Miraculously Bill had another shirt to wear after his other one got a green spot on it.

Tim left all of us for the San Juan islands today.

Bill told Toni that the firemen that Ashley and Roxanne saw didn't have shirts on, I'm pretty sure he was going to get himself tested right away until Bill told him that he was lying.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/14/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/14/2020

Bill made a great observation and mentioned that he's going to be checking the back of the quarters in 2021 because this year one of our quarters has a picture of a bat from American Samoa on it. Which is interesting and ironic because American Samoa still doesn't have any Covid19 cases.

As for our next stop on vacation we traveled over Independence Pass (which has an elevation of 12,095 feet) to Aspen. I don't know if it was because of Covid but the town was fairly quiet but there were still plenty of private jets at the Aspen airport. Most of their stores were so upper end that they were by appointment only so there really wasn't much to see in town. There was an area that we passed fairly regularly that was an elk migration area and there were always herds of elk grazing next to a bunch of horses and one night they were grazing close to the fence with their calves which was an awesome animal sighting to see.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/13/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/13/2020

Ashley and Roxanne are now going for daily Covid tests because they found the testing facility that hot firefighters are doing the tests at. I will need a map to this location please.

Michael wants to become Mary's favorite by tattling on Tim and his new popcorn machine that's at the office at the moment (that Michael gave to Tim).

First day of vacation we stayed in Colorado Springs which has an elevation of 6,035 feet and was a great starting point for some of the places that we visited because the elevation kicked my butt the first few days. We ended up visiting Garden of the Gods in the afternoon and then a monsoon hit so we went back the next morning to see what we missed.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/01/2020 & 07/02/2020

The Daily Chatter*

07/01/2020

Steve now expects all of us old people to bend over for him because of his procedure.

Tim already doesn't want to work knowing that there's a holiday weekend coming up.

Toni wants to commit suicide over having to redo another bid which had an extensive take off set.

"I've been known to not pay attention." Bill about my vacation meanwhile Steve thinks I'm taking a cruise to Colorado so I think he may win the least to pay attention award over Bill.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/30/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/30/2020

Michael had to point out what Steve needs to do after his surgery, needless to say I will be knocking on his door before entering especially if Michael or Toni are in there with him.

Toni claims he was playing a video game and got up to go to the fridge and the next thing he knows his wife was yelling at him while she was on a zoom call asking him if he was watching porn because some very graphic things were happening on the screen.

Thanks to Sarah for pointing out that the next five months the first letter of the month spell out the word Jason. No, I'm still not changing my mind about him.

*not to be construed as Gossip 

06/29/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/29/20202

Steve's definitely milking it today. I bet he's going to make us buy him alcohol if he comes to work tomorrow.

Bill's very concerned about the artificial sweetener shortage problem and he feels like nobody is talking about it. Maybe he should protest about it at CHOP.

Toni's vein was sticking out on his forehead today when he and Bill were arguing about three cylinder cars.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/26/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/26/2020

Ashley's pretty sure that we're only keeping her long enough to complete the Oregon contractors test.

Men are disgusting, Toni said that he counted the boogers above the urinal today.

Bill and I found a way for Steve not to take the afternoon off for his appointment. We gave him a Vasectomy DIY kit but I think he got mad at us for giving him an extra small band aid.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/25/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/25/2020

"I don't like how nice everyone is." Bill about Vancouver

Tim thought that the search options in RFMS changed because his numbers lock button has been off for more than a week.

"You're even worse than what you describe." Bill to Tim

Leave it to Bill's father to come in today and tick him off that he had to make a new sign for all of the doors.

Bill told Roger that he needed to write about his life stories and Roger didn't want to so we threatened Roger that if he didn't write them that we would.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/24/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/24/2020

"Any woman who accepts a drink from Bill Cosby now kind of has it coming to her." Bill after I mentioned that Bill Cosby gets to appeal his case.

Bill said he was asked to join a group of women entrepreneurs and I told him it is Pride month and it makes total sense.

Steve almost threatened to burn down somebodies house today for not leaving him alone. Note to self don't provoke the man, I would like to keep my home.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/23/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/23/2020

Toni enticed most of us today to join a cult that's been around since the 1960's called Order of Nine Angles, it's a Satanic, Nazi loving terrorist group that encourages human sacrifice that has their own star symbol that Bill thinks that his son can actually draw.

Who would have thought that our AC wasn't working because of batteries in the thermostat this morning. Sorry for letting the office get to 80.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/19/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/19/2020

"I've given up on millennials." Bill

A miracle happened yesterday, not like the Christmas miracle that happened on 3/20/20 but none the less a miracle, Tim wore his mask inside the office.

Bill was pretty sure that Kahlua (Ashley's dog) could do CPR with the way that she was bouncing off the door today.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/17/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/17/2020

Bill told Toni that he's a little bit of a hot head.

It scares me when Michael tells me that there are magical things on his orders in RFMS.

"You kind of turned me on." Bill to John but then Bill ruined it by saying that he didn't have any faith in Generation X and their technology skills so needless to say there won't be a date.

To everyone who is confusing Ashley's weekends, this weekend is not her camping trip, it's her Leavenworth trip and she will have very colorful hair in her pictures.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/16/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/16/2020

Bill thought that his wife's texts made it sound like there were plumbing problems but then he realized that's only her flirting with him.

Michael finally realized that now that he has his own office, he can have his very own dance pole for his Magistical Michael shows. I have a feeling that we have some exciting shows coming from him soon.

Mary left Randy at his procedure today that the doctors office forgot to put on their schedule (but luckily they did get him in late) and then Mary tried forgetting him and came into work, that poor abused man.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/15/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/15/2020

Roxanne's been holding out on us, she had been escorting around firemen and she didn't invite any of us to the party.

Bill called me a bitch for trying to add a workday to the week last week.

Tim made fun of my hooker boots today but I'll cut him some slack since I'm sure he was exhausted from shoveling horse sh*t at his second wife's home because she broke her leg. I want to know, if I break my leg will Tim do my job for me?

Ashley and I both ended up going to Mt Rainier yesterday. Ryan and I ended up going to the visitor center at Paradise and it was 32 degrees and snowing and luckily for Ashley and her little dog it wasn't where she ended up at Silver Falls.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/09/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/09/2020

Bill thinks that Michael would be great at arson, just in case anyone needs that service.

I think Tim talked Steve into going on "Survivor".

Somebody told Toni that he looks like a ninja with a face mask on.

"My wife's car is like Monica's closet." Bill

Bill received a call that his Enumclaw house had been on fire but it turns out it was the neighbors. It might have solved some issues if it had burned down so very unfortunate for somebody to get Bill's hopes up.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/08/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/08/2020

"I think Tim's gone, we can all take off our masks now." Bill

Faith told me that it looks like somebody died because her office and my office are covered in flowers from our Birthday's.

I love that my co-workers are insensitive pricks like I am. FYI, don't ask what Bill did over the weekend to show his support.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/05/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/05/2020

Ashley's ticked that Bud's still sick and was out today because he was supposed to repay her with Thai food for last Friday. It's good to know that she doesn't forget a thing.

According to Sarah, Marty couldn't hear his phone because of his new pornstache.

"If I were looting, I would steal a cheesecake." Sarah

Happy Birthday to Tim and Faith who have birthdays over the weekend.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/04/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/04/2020

Steve told Ashley this morning that she has her own Kellen.

Roger made a surprise appearance today and luckily Tim and Bill were here too (because they were steps from heading out the door).

Steve sure gets grumpy when he has to do somebody else's job.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/03/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/03/2020

Ashley, Faith and I thought we heard a dog and I was sorely disappointed that it was just the squeaking of Michael's shoes. In fact Michael read the disappointment on my face and was thoroughly confused.

Now Mary's sick, masks aren't working so we're going to need sanitizing stations at every entrance. I think tomorrow needs to be Tequila Thursday especially since Bill won't be here.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/01/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/01/2020

Thank-you Ashley for risking your life on a ladder for my birthday decorations today.

Toni's hooking up with Michael because of the car he drove into work today.

The big question of the day is why are half of our guys sick with the same thing if we've been extra careful in trying to protect ourselves from Covid.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/29/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/29/2020

Bill thinks that Steve has turned into a bigger aSShole lately especially with his scheduling duties.

Ashley's tired of being the only person here who keeps getting viruses from downloading porn.

Matt was telling us about a man who was arrested who had a very odd fetish with other peoples stolen sandals and after reading the article I think it's even odder than he described.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/11712354/randy-weirdo-with-flip-flop-fetish-stole-pairs/

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/28/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/28/2020

Michael told me that I need to step up his seducing game and next time pie might be the better option for his birthday.

I told my husband that I was holding Larry at work today and I think he became a little concerned until I told him that Larry was a dog.

What is proper Covid etiquette when holding somebody else's dog at work, am I supposed to wear a mask to protect Larry or should Larry wear a mask to protect me?

Michael called Steve and Ashley racist today all because they were sharing secrets about Michael today during a meeting instead of listening to him.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/27/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/27/2020

Why don't men ever learn? Women don't want men washing their clothes. Roxanne told Bill that she needs all new clothes because Bill did the laundry this morning.

Poor Tim is crippled today because he rowed his boat on Monday.

Bill told Ashley if she was going to go to the warehouse without a mask on she needs to hold her breath the whole time.

Bill thinks the car parade that came by today was for his retirement party.

I love how Toni walks away after he eludes to knowing juicy gossip.

It was very convenient for Steve to leave his phone at home at lunch so that he could leave early to go home and get it and not come back.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/26/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/26/2020

Happy Birthday Michael!

Tim managed to get himself kicked off an island over the holiday weekend.

The most exciting part of my weekend besides getting out to hike was actually sitting down and eating in a real restaurant.

Bill laughed at me when he realized that it cost me money letting my husband come to the office and because of Ashley telling my husband about paddle boarding while he was here we had to have our own so that's what was delivered today.

Michael thinks that I increased his chances of getting laid tonight, what can I say besides all in a days work.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/22/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/22/20202

I think Steve took my day off for me, I was supposed to have today off but my plans changed.

Leave it to Sarah to scare off Bill today after she walked in at noon.

Don't forget to watch our World's Greatest television episode on Ion TV at 6 am on Monday morning!

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/21/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/21/2020

Steve's daughter was relieved to hear that Linked In was not a dating site after she realized that her dad's name pulled up on it.

Michael didn't mind me taking his anal temperature this morning before going out into the warehouse. I hope he doesn't tell our installers that I'm offering that service now otherwise I'm sure Marty will be in line for it tomorrow.

Steve finally saw his sign (that's been there since Tuesday) in the men's bathroom on the toilet paper.

I accused Steve and Ashley of stealing toilet paper but turns out I forgot about the warehouse bathroom. Yes, I've turned into the TP Nazi around here.

Michael told us that he had a camera in the women's bathroom so Ashley is now covering any hole in the ceiling with a piece of paper.

I read through what they think are going to be the new rules for Major League Baseball and I thought I was reading "The Onion"...no spitting, no showering, no team mascots, no touching your face to give signals, no socializing with opponents, no high fives...pretty much no nothing and so un-American.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/20/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/20/2020

Freaking Tim and his identity theft crap, they only seem to want his unemployment checks. Bill made the comment that the impostors are now getting their unemployment checks faster than Mary's brother.

Does Michael realize that he has Jason's old office phone? I really don't think he does otherwise I would expect it to be a million pieces.

I have absolutely nothing for the Chatter today and it's all Tim's fault between all of his orders that are keeping us in business but needed extra attention and then his dang fraud crap.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/18/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/18/2020

The office people are feeling a little banned from the warehouse right now. It's getting confusing, Bill's talking about safe and unsafe zones and Tim only wants new rules because he's not going to abide by the old ones.

Bill's resentful that his kids are so cute because now people want them in their wedding, that he doesn't want to go to in the middle of August. Roxanne this is all of your fault.

Poor Bill thinks that once the show airs that he's going to need a special boob signing pen. I hope he's googled the best pens for that purpose.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/15/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/15/2020

Ashley accused me of having the place bugged this morning because Steve called her out on tattling on him but Steve technically ratted himself out to me. 

According to Pat I didn't give out W-2's this year so don't expect to be able to do your taxes. 

*not to be construed as Gossip 

05/14/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/14/2020

Steve's back and he seems to be blaming everyone for all of his issues: his printer issues he automatically accused Ashley and Michael of foul play, his daughters broken arm he blamed his wife naturally and everything work related he blamed people who weren't even here.

It's very sweet how all of you guys are making me feel needed because you can't find anything in the supply closet. Thank-you all for giving me something to do today.

Tim said that he can't deal with pissing me off but he can deal with pissing Ashley off, I feel so fortunate.

Tim's grand kids just got to experience his Ring doorbell and didn't understand why he wouldn't open the door since they could hear him.

Ashley caught Steve taking a roll of toilet paper, Steve gave me some lame story that he's down to only one roll in his house.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/13/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/13/2020

Bill's daughter wasn't happy last night when he goofed up cooking the Mexican rice for dinner she told him "Daddy this isn't right" and then she left.

Something's wrong with Toni, he didn't back in his car today.

Somebody (one of Toni's customers) has a new nickname for Toni "The Creveler".

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/12/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/12/2020

I asked Bill if we were going to have a World's Greatest premier party at 6 am but then I realized our episode airs on Memorial Day and hopefully just hopefully I'll be hiking in Oregon if things open by then.

Tim has offered to throw a girls only get together for us which was so considerate of him.

Sarah graced us with her presence today just long enough for Tim to yell at her to get some more work.

Josh and Matt are complaining about the cheap room that I blame Bill and Steve for letting me book. They wanted to know if the company would reimburse them for the hookers who come to the hotel parking lot.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/11/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/11/2020

Happy Birthday Mary!

Bill said that he stumped Roger on Seinfeld trivia this morning which is very unlike Roger.

Ashley tried to cook her fish for ten minutes in the microwave today and luckily Bill caught her mistake before the whole office smelled like her lunch. Bill reminded all of us that Ashley's apartment didn't come with a microwave so she's very inexperienced.

Now Steve's injuring his kids just to take days off.

I just realized that our television appearances that are going to make us all famous air at 6am in the morning on ION television on 5/25/20 and it reruns on 06/08/20 at the same freaking time.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/08/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/08/2020

Happy Birthday to my amazing husband.

Bill told me to buy depends today but luckily it was only his response to getting out and hiking without any bathrooms being open.

"I've never had sex with my brother." Steve

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/07/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/07/2020

Thanks to Tim's crappy attitude, Bill said he was going to go out and start measuring card board boxes for his family to live in.

I think the Jimmy John's driver was trying to tick me off when he left my sandwich at the door. I couldn't open the door out without squishing it, jerk.

Just to liven up the place I considered (for about ten seconds) pole dancing for everyone just like Faith recommended.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/06/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/06/2020

Sheesh, it's a good thing that my husband is leaving the office after today, I think he's telling everyone all of my secrets. I walked  into the break room this morning and he's talking to Ashley about how one drink took me out last night.

Tim promised us a picture of a thermometer stuck up his butt today but I never got that one.

Steve got lost today because he didn't allow Michael to micromanage him.

Bill was sounding like an old man today complaining about the rain washing away all of the chemicals he put in his lawn.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/05/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/05/2020

Faith feels like we're pimping her out to one of the Costco dealers to show them how to do their scheduling.

I think this pretty much sums up why we all need to be still hoarding toilet paper and drinking more.

Speaking of drinking more, how did Michael know that we were going to start our Cinco de Mayo party just as soon as he left?

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/04/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/04/2020

Michael is my favorite today, Howard was mentioning that he knew me when I turned 21 and Michael said that was only six years ago.

Toni had quite an exciting week, many people were arrested in connection to his mailbox thefts.

Ashley just added a criteria for finding a man, he must own a sail boat. I'm all for it because she's going to have to take me out on the water.

When nobody shows up to work tomorrow even though it's the start of Cinco de Mayo, remember everyone is out fishing...

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/01/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/01/2020

Steve and I caught Bill in a huge lie today. He had the nerve to tell us that he fired Jason in January.....Christmas didn't come for me until the end of February, I remember it very vividly.

I think all of our guys are going to be fishing on Tuesday morning so us women will have the whole place to ourselves. We'll just have our Covid-19 Cinco de Mayo party without the guys and make special masks in order to commemorate our event.

The guys already hate Steve for making them wear masks at the shop.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/30/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/30/2020

Tim says there was a Gun Fight at the OK Corral on his street the other night. It sounded like the guy involved who lived on his street was awesome, I'm really not sure why he didn't introduce this guy to Ashley before he went to jail.

I now have a new title at work of Fire Marshall.

Tim objects to the front door being locked only because he's tired of running into it.

Bill gets his car back tomorrow so it's going to be a very emotional day for him.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/29/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/29/2020

I don't think it was a good idea for us to have told Sarah about these quarantine hotels. She was already at home packing in her mind when we were telling her about them yesterday.

Bill somehow turned hint of lime chips into hint of lamb chips....he might be onto something especially if we have a meat shortage.

Steve told Bill how much he cared for him today by telling him that he's not worthless like Roxanne always tells him he is.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/28/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/28/2020

Sarah made a rare appearance at the office today.

Bill seems to want to bring back rectal thermometers since the forehead ones aren't available. He also has some very kinky ideas for how to use them too.

Steve almost lost his title as safety supervisor today but luckily I saved his a$$.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/27/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/27/2020

Ashley came back today, it's finally starting to feel like the women are taking back the office. 

Matt wanted to know who put the pictures up of the kitties in the warehouse, I had to remind him that was Sarah's second office.

Toni had Federal agents at his house setting up a sting because he's had stolen mail and now identity theft.

I answered the door today and it was a lost young man asking for directions and Bill asked me why I didn't introduce him to Ashley. I was honestly saving her and I deserve praise for that, he looked like a young Justin Bieber and he was looking for a temp service so obviously he didn't have as great of a career as Bieber or any career for that matter. Besides she like her men (boys) younger than that.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/23/2020 & 04/24/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/23/2020

The first thing out of Toni's mouth yesterday when he found out about Bill's car was "Does Tim know about this?"

4/24/2020

I was told that Michael's wife was going to cut his hair the other day but there must have been an issue because he did it himself and one armed too.

Michael has a special box for hanging pictures. I told Bill that sounded awfully metro sexual (or another word) and yes he's very proud of that box. 

Bill told Josh that he was the talk of the office since he quit smoking. I'll leave Bill in charge of dealing with Josh's ego from now on.

Bill thinks that we should vape disinfectants instead of injecting them like Trump mentioned.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/22/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/22/2020

Gabe asked why I was in the warehouse today and I informed him that I was taking over his job then Bill told me that I needed to move faster so apparently I won't be helping out with any of my crazy ideas anymore because I'm too old and fat according to Bill.

Ryan received a care package from work today in the mail with food and snacks. Bill informed me that he's not that nice and won't be doing that for his employees because he doesn't want us to feel too appreciated.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/21/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/21/2020

"That's not the reason why I think that you're stupid." Bill to me

Bill was surprised that I noticed that it wasn't his car in the parking lot. I know I can be oblivious at times but his rental car was a black car in a different Tesla model so yes I might just notice that like everybody else did today.

Tim tried volunteering himself to get arrested yesterday for not wanting to leave a State Park. I didn't think that we've been that mean to him lately to want that sort of punishment but then again he was very disappointed that the hot cocoa with marshmallows was a scam because the marshmallows melted and I didn't take him seriously enough.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/20/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/20/2020

Ryan thought that Steve looked very pretty today, I think Ryan was jealous that Steve got his hair cut and I keep forgetting to cut his.

Tim was very upset that the entrance to Mt Rainier wasn't open for him this last weekend even though he went to the wrong entrance for starters and secondly the other entrance is closed for Corona Virus Days.

Steve wants all us to be crazy like him and thinks we should watch "Tiger King". I think I'm perfectly happy being my own sort of crazy without watching that show. Besides if I watch the show I'm pretty sure I'll want to own a big cat just so that I could dress it up and let it go on walks with me. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/17/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/17/2020

Steve and I were fighting over who got to kill Josh today if he really lost his regular tires for his van like he thought he did.

Bill thought it was odd that Roxanne told him to wait at the store until they restocked her favorite wine, I told him that sounded pretty normal to me.

Josh claims he stopped smoking when he started sitting at home so hopefully seeing Steve again on Monday won't make him need a cigarette.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/16/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/16/2020

Marty told my husband that I was going to tie him up later...I think Ryan wanted to know why I was telling Marty about my sexual fantasies.

Michael needs to hang some more names of employees on his computer monitor because he didn't know another name today.

I read a headline that Elon Musk says that Teslas will park themselves later this year. Well I sure the heck don't believe it after seeing what Bill's car drove into.

I think most of you will agree with me that this person parked worse than Mary in our parking lot and they sat there for hours, they should really feel stupid since Bill and I were bored and judging them.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/15/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/15/2020

"I don't think they'll give us adjoining cells." Bill to Mary about a great idea

I got an email from Michael (that was supposed to go to Typh) about an ad for an air boat. Now I'm very confused, does Typh like air boats and I just didn't' know about it or does she only like air boat rides with Michael and I didn't know about it?

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/14/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/14/2020

Bill mentioned that he might bring Jason back for something yesterday. I told him to be careful or I may inflict bodily harm on him.

Bill and Steve were arguing this morning over whose way was the laziest way to accomplish a task out in the warehouse.

It was a heck of a good day, I found foaming hand soap refills online. They're almost as hard to find as toilet paper if you haven't noticed.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/13/2020

The Daily Chatter*

04/13/2020

Mary claims that she saw an albino whale over the weekend out at her beach house and with that being said we all now know how she's been passing her time.

The Jimmy John's guy started walking back to the wrong car today until he saw the missing hole on Bill's front bumper and realized it wasn't his car.

Steve had to tell Ashley to put down her cocktail this morning because according to him she wasn't making any sense to him on the phone.

*not to be construed as Gossip