05/30/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/30/2014

The tattoos on Cory's arm seem to keep growing.

I obviously missed the part of the story yesterday where Steve accidentally saved Jason's picture as his facebook profile picture and then couldn't change it fast enough. 

Steve doesn't seem to like his new customers.

I'm pretty sure that Toni thinks I'm going to jail because I keep getting these weird email/texts from someone and today they told me to call some courthouse and tell them I wasn't going to be able to make my trial.

Bill caught Toni is his web of lies today and it was over something boring like tile.

Roger and Tim must be having a man's weekend together because neither of them came in today.  I'm assuming it involves them becoming one as a unicorn and getting awesome tats.

When we finally got to be on our own this trip we headed over to Lake Tahoe. We stayed in a hotel with a Casino that was one step over the California border into Nevada. We drove around the lake our first night and it was a pretty remarkable place with beautiful scenery. As for our next day in Reno, I now know why Tim hates going their, their downtown was an absolute ghost town besides the crazy people and bums.

 

 *not to be construed as Gossip

05/29/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/29/2014

Apparently Matt is working on his honesty issues among other things according to Steve.

All of us who aren't friends with Jason on FB are apparently missing out on his great posts about his dinners, his blanket and his e-cigarette that he bummed off some chick.

I tried giving away Bill's tile for one of his job's today apparently. Some guy came in and asked if he could have the pallets out back.  Luckily Cody was out there and stopped a disaster from happening.

 Steve thinks Bill should be on his knees under his desk.

I'm very disappointed, Bahama Breeze got rid of their sliders....now what am I going to do?

"I can't believe you haven't b*tched at me for the wild animal show around here." Tim to Bill

Bill and Toni pretended like they hadn't heard of May 8th National Outdoor Intercourse Day before Donna said something today. 

"Boobs and Kids. You have a weird mind Mr. G...." Mary

Back to my vacation. We went to Yosemite with Ryan's brother and his wife and some of you have already heard about my disappointments but I'm thankful that we got to go because it was absolutely beautiful. We left way too late in the day, waited in line to get into Yosemite, then waited again in a long line to get into a visitor parking lot and then ate lunch and drove home without getting to go on our hike. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/28/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/28/2014

"I don't like people or dogs." Roger as he was talking about the good deed he was trying to do yesterday that involved both people and dogs.

Tim brought his dead wildlife collection to work with him today and they scared me in the dark this morning.

Speaking of dead, Ryan asked me if the lady sitting next to me on the airplane yesterday was dead. I think she was sleeping with her eyes open for part of the time. 

On our trip we were in an old town with a big candy store so obviously the black licorice candy that Roger and Mary were talking about last week came to my mind but they didn't seem to have it for some reason.

Onto me and my travels, we started our lovely morning on Thursday in Sausalito eating breakfast and overlooking San Fransisco.

While driving through San Fransisco we passed their city hall where Roger's daughter got married.

Then we headed to Filoli, an estate that was built in 1917 and that is surrounded by 654 acres and Roger has never heard about it. I'm beginning to think he never lived near San Fransisco or he might be an illegal alien who just worked in the fields. We all know what a great story teller Roger is....

 

 

 That pretty much sums up our first day minus the fireball and hard cider. 

 

 

 

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/21/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/21/2014

I had a dream last night that a large group of us went on a cruise together and because Matt was there we were constantly being harassed. In our last port Cher and Matt were both dressed up in costumes and performing on some street corner so they probably missed the boat.

I just noticed today that Tim and I share the same birthday week again.

Roger was afraid that he was going to a seminar at lunch because he was going alone with Bill.

"I really like to have flowers on my desk." Mary about wanting a flower service for her desk only

Some guy called today and asked for Toni's email address because he said his earlier email came back to him. When I was spelling his name the guy said "I could have sworn he said i".

Roger was reminiscing this morning as to when he was young and crazy and I'm pretty sure that was just last week.

Angelina Jolie would be jealous of this dude's lips.

Mary told Jessica that she was her favorite because she brought her in some Tres Leche cake.

I can't wait to hear about the Bachelor Party that Cody's going to in Vegas, he better have some good stories or he'll need to make some up. 

I'm off to California, Lake Tahoe and Reno, I'll see you all on Wednesday! 

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/20/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/20/2014

I think Toni has tourettes syndrome because he couldn't quit saying "Sh*t" this morning.

Howard said he came in today to take care of Tim and all of his troubles.

Ryan told me that he saw our psychotic neighbors again. What the crap is going on?

"Which one of these Mother F*ckers is getting fired today?" Roger while at Jimmy Johns   He apparently took a bathroom break and came back and his sandwich wasn't done so as you can tell it was well deserved.

Roxanne showed me a dress that was named after Toni but I told her that I already knew about it because Toni wears it to work all the time and he's always trying to show off his cleavage.

Bill still believes that there's a Prince in Nigeria who wants to give him all of his money. I guess I'll let him keep believing that lie otherwise he may wake up and decide that getting married is too expensive.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/19/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/19/2014

Steve's upset because Bill always knows how to one up him.

Tim seems excited for his trip this week with me but he still can't remember where he's going. I think we're going to have to buy him one of Roger's Google Brains TM  for his birthday.

Apparently you can't take Bill to your friends house because he won't be able to get his foot out of his mouth. I think that's the last time Roxanne takes Bill anywhere.

I think Ryan must think Roxanne has African American roots because he wanted to spell her name Roquxanne and do the Napoleon Dynamite spelling.

"As long as your dick doesn't fall off, you'll be alright." Tim to Bill    What was Tim doing in Bill's office?

Bill thinks Toni and Tim are up to no good.

There's something wrong with Dot. She doesn't like this picture of herself. It must be because she's with Roger in the picture and she likes to go more Diva than that.

Toni said he can draw a picture of Monica's dick,  the cross dressing dude at one of our suppliers who was wearing yoga pants today. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/16/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/16/2014

It's a good day, I'm pretty sure our crazy neighbors are gone:)

Jessica pulled a Bill on us this morning, she ran in and out without saying a word.

Speaking of Bill, he claims he's a very traditional man and that's why he wants to go to Niagra Falls for his honeymoon. I personally think he wants to go to recreate Jim and Pam's wedding from "The Office" and I'm sure he won't invite any of us. Besides does this look like a very traditional man to you?

Tim says I'm mean, he's just now figuring that out....good grief. Wait till next week on our trip and I don't get my way which is crazy because I always get my way so just wait till I get hungry.

Cody has a new favorite hand soap. Cody is about to get an i added to the end of his name too..Codi.

Toni said he's going to get a tattoo of Nikki on his neck tonight. I bet he'll chicken out after he see's the tattoo artist.

I've never noticed this but one of our subs has WASHIT in their license #.

I think we all scared poor Toni today and Mary was responsible for single handedly scaring Matt on her job site.

Does Roger work here anymore? I didn't see him today. I guess he did call in once for Mary's phone sex hotline but she wasn't here.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/15/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/15/2014

Toni thinks Bill and Roxanne had an adult sleep over last night considering that Roxanne's car was still here this morning. Toni's probably right.

"I'm three and I can jump!" Ella~ Joe's Daughter

Bill and Roxanne found their wedding venue yesterday, it's going to be at Vance's house.

I'm very hopeful, my neighbors truck was gone this morning but it is possible they were still partying and gone from last night.

"Were you looking at your pretty face?" Mary to Roger   Apparently she's over Bill now and wants a new office fling. 

"Come here and I'm going to touch your eye." Mary trying to seduce Roger again.   Roger "That would be worse than water boarding."

Tim's not going to be a good travel buddy, he already forgot where we were going next week (a week from today to be exact). 

Toni and a "friend" stayed up super late last night watching car porn on some website called the Drive Network. He was talking all day about how he wanted the interior of his car to look.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/14/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/14/2014

Tim was trying to stir up trouble in my dream last night and for some reason I rewarded him with BBQ. 

It seems like our weird next door neighbors at home are moving, they had a Uhaul trailer and now they have the back of their truck loaded with a bike and misc crap and the crazy guy asked Ryan if he wanted a kitten the other day but they just don't seem to be leaving. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that they leave soon.

"Matt will be wearing a large overcoat that jingles" Bill  (referring to Matt sneaking alcohol into Bill's wedding).

"I'm talking about other special spots..." Mary trying to seduce Bill

"OMG I'm a mess." Mary

Toni was too proud of his password today that he had to share it with everyone in the office today, so much for security.

Tim's wife is leaving him alone for over a week, what is she thinking? Doesn't she realize that gives him more time to add very expensive items onto his boat. Tim's already going around the office asking all the women for dates while his wife is gone.

Didn't the show "Friends with Better Lives" just start? Well they cancelled it already, must be on NBC. 

Bill's not the only one around here with a BMW now.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/13/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/13/2014

"If it doesn't work out then screw them all." Tim

"You just lost your privilege to talk to me." Roger to Bill

Steve says Matt looks like a skinny man with a fat belly. They both must think each other is pregnant because they keep touching each others bellies.

Tim is in deep poo, when did he start smoking?

Mary explained to Steve today that she's simple minded and only thinks of sex. 

I'm pretty sure Roger was up to no good outside in our parking lot with this shady dude even if the other guy is one of our Reps.

 This picture will make me think twice about getting into a bouncy house again. Two boys fell out of it at about 20 feet up in the air.

If you see Bill carrying Roxanne down the street tonight it's all good but she took Mary's advice and drank Patron.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/12/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/12/2014

Happy Birthday to Mary!

Matt witnessed the truck accident that shut down I-5 this morning. Luckily he was in front of it.

Matt now refers to himself as the bearded bunman. 

Typhinee thinks I'm stealthy, I've been called a fairy before but not stealthy.

According to Toni a place named Lolli & Pops must be an elderly gay bar.

Mary and I found out today that Jessica is just full of it.

I thought I was reading "The Onion" today when I saw this picture and the headline "Clay Aiken Opponent Keith Crisco Dead".

I saw this picture on FB yesterday and knew exactly what Roger was thinking from his facial expression.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/09/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/09/2014

I caught Toni texting on his calculator today.

"Maybe I'm not wrong." Tim being hopeful

Bill called Toni rude and mean today.

Nobody wanted anything that they said posted in The Chatter today. Why do these people expect me to keep secrets, they should know better.

Toni looks like a: pit crew member, a kid going to the races with his dad and a guy whose hat is too big for him according to Typhinee, Tim and Cody.

I hope that this is the look that Nikki likes because this is what her home is going to look like in a few years if she stays with Toni. This is Elton John's bedroom and I would imagine that Toni would like more Penises in his Master Bedroom because today he wanted all of the guys to come into work with Speedos.

I'll finish up with my Austin pictures today. On our last day in Austin we explored their Riverwalk Park and found a bunch of turtles. The picture at the bottom of the page, the turtles were tiny, they were about the size of my fist.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/08/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/08/2014

I'm the worst wife ever, I forgot it was Ryan's birthday today. In my defense I've already given him his birthday present and isn't that the only thing that matters.

Howard thinks Roger was doing meth in his car because he had a bounce in his step but Howard was going to check Roger's teeth and I never did hear the outcome. I guess Dot will need to check his teeth now. 

I set it up with Howard this morning for Tim and him to compete in a tennis match.
Even though this link is from 2004 my money is still on Howard
http://tennislink.usta.com/tournaments/TournamentHome/Tournament.aspx?t=20217&e=2&tab=Draws


It seems that every time that we fly now Ryan always gets some special treatment at security where he can go through the regular metal detector and leave his shoes on. Where as I get to go through the special line where I have to strip down to nothing, I'm starting to wonder if he's a secret air marshal.

Ryan, Jessica is also going on vacation with us at the end of the month too. 

"That wasn't even subtle." Roger to Mary about her tooting her own horn

Jessica went to a job walk thru yesterday in a halfway house sort of environment and she said one person decided to open their door and stick their arm out with a cat on it for about 15 minutes. Needless to say you couldn't see the person and it was just a flying cat. 

Fingers crossed I have to take my cat to the vet tonight to get blood work done.

I found Roxanne a wedding dress in the San Fransisco airport but she might need to squint her eyes a little just to say she's Asian or she won't be able to wear it.

While in Austin we went to the bat bridge, it's where thousands of bats fly out each night at dusk.So that's what the black dots in the sky are.

 This was one of the coolest and oldest hotels in Austin, Driskill Hotel built in 1886 and they have an awesome bakery.

It was Cinco De Mayo but I think this lady really wanted a Rachael Green hat. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/07/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/07/2014

Ryan, Tim's apparently going on vacation with us at the end of the month. He misses me too much when I'm gone.

I think Bill and Roxanne were doing something kinky again because Bill discovered a Steve size hole in the arse of his pants over the weekend. 

I'm very disappointed with myself and Roger's going to be disappointed too. While I was standing in line to go through Security at the Airport on Thursday night, I was behind a black woman with a pretty large rump wearing leggings, you could also tell she was wearing white underwear and I failed to get a picture for Roger's website.

Typhinee missed me so much that she ended up with Kidney Stones.

I told Toni that queer men in jean shorts (even if there not shorty shorts) reminded me of him.

 

Mary got a lesson in selling today from Roger's customer.

I have questions for someone who gave me TMI today but he obviously thought I knew about his problems so I asked Toni instead.

Mary went to the DOL today for a new drivers license to be pleasantly surprised that she didn't have to wait in line because they no longer do the driving tests there anymore. 

As far as Austin goes, Tim needs to move there and get the flooring contracts on all of the new hotels and condo's that are going up all over the city. They had lots of great restaurants but no shopping in the old downtown section. They have fat content squirrels and hefty chicks who shouldn't wear shorty shorts just like here, I figured that would be Roger's next website.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/01/2014

The Daily Chatter*

05/01/2014

Jessica went to measure a gym yesterday and she said that some naked chick started a conversation with her while she was on her knees in the locker room by the shower. Apparently it's not any different than the Men's locker room that Matt and Steve remember so fondly.

Jessica thinks Mary is Ms. Sassypants today. 

Mary got a prank call from Shuryl today. 

Toni thinks Bill is sitting on a gold mine. Have you seen the chair Bill sits on? There's nothing special about it at all.

Roxanne is stressing about the wedding venue so we settled on either Tim's yard or Bill's yard. I'm sure that Bill's family would vote for Bill's yard, so it's been decided. You're welcome Roxanne.

In Roger's boredom at a roadshow he has come up with a new idea for a website, women who shouldn't wear leggings. The pictures below are woman who Roger said could pull the look off.

I have to throw this picture in too because I thought it was flipping hilarious. I guess I need to go through my closet and pick out the shirts that would look cool as a shirt-skirt.

See you all on Wednesday!

*not to be construed as Gossip