12/31/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/31/2013

Toni was talking about Bill and Cody in bed together this morning, it was a bizarre conversation.

Today was a freaking disaster so there's not much to the chatter, Toni worked his butt off every where but here and people were calling like crazy this morning.

Typhinee got Roger in trouble yesterday with the beer can but she claims it wasn't hers and that she just found it in the parking lot. Doesn't she know that's the oldest line that we hear from installers around here?

Roger says he would have rather gone to work than do all of the errands and kinky stuff that his wife made him do today.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/30/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/30/2013

Roger is such a liar, he told me that he doesn't drink yet I found a beer can in his garbage. How is he going to explain this?????

Bill won an award for his sweater but he admitted that it wasn't first place. 

Bill's life turned into a mini version of the movie "The Proposal" while visiting family. Everyone wanted to marry him off before they left.

Bill thinks his is bigger than Toni's.

Bill's so materialistic... he didn't want to know what I did for Christmas he only wanted to know what I received.

Funniest thing Jessica says she's never waved to the icork girl.

"I like the way they are portrayed in porn." Roger

Rick's daughter thinks that there is something Ghetto about Roger's old car and the CD player.... It probably had Mexican beer in it too.

 Mary claims that there was too much man heat in the back room this afternoon. Apparently that's what happens when Rick shows up.

Tim told Mary that she looked good on her knees...perve.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/27/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/27/2013

I had a dream last night that someone was digging up gold in Tim's yard. I guess it must be in correlation to me watching "The Hangover 3" recently. Maybe Tim should just buy a giraffe instead of having people dig up his yard.

Toni wanted to know the other day why Andrea Bocelli was on the cover of the Cambria magazine. Toni implied why would he give a sh*t, he's blind and can't see his counter top.

Crystal promised to bring us Christmas pictures of her kids, we're either getting a 5x7 or wallet size. If we get the 5x7 it's going to get hung at Roger's desk.

"Yesterday my butt cleared Toni's desk."  Typhinee


Mary thinks Toni's going to get sick of her but then Toni reminded her that he see's her almost every day.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/26/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/26/2013

Roger thinks he's Tom Douglas now because he used his roast rub on their prime rib dinner. If you want to be Tom Douglas this is apparently all you need according to Roger.

Jessica and Tim are playing hookie today and Mary's just hung over according to her favorite future son in law.

"Yah, that's what they slut out to everyone." Toni

Toni's the man today he fixed the forklift.

Roger wanted to know if my step mom was hot. He's welcome to go to the nursing home that she's at and find out for himself.

Roger and Toni were making new bets on Henry. Toni thinks Henry's going to live forever now. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/24/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/24/2013

Merry Christmas Eve everyone.

Toni's very disturbed that his next door girlfriend first of all didn't remember him yesterday and then thought he was rude and mean.

Roger called me a Ho today. In fact he said it three times in a row.

Roger's a jerk, he made someone cry today.

Nikki came down here to kick the next door neighbors a$$ but she apparently was hiding because she wasn't there.  

"I should have been a show girl." Toni

I have one more vacation stop to talk about then I'll be done until my next vacation. After our cruise we spent a few nights in San Juan, Puerto Rico. On Saturday we walked around Old San Juan and found our favorite restaurants and I finally tried Mofongo (a fried plantain dish) and the one I tried had an awesome garlic cream sauce on it, absolutely delicious. Then I was super excited because we found a bunch of parrots mixed in with some pigeons down by the waterfront. The third picture is of two of the six peacocks that lived at our hotel. Cover your eyes Roxanne because we stayed at the Caribe Hilton and Ryan called it Mecca because the Pina Colada was invented there in 1954 and it was the first hotel chain to become an international company with this property. So back to me, Sunday we relaxed on the beach next to the ocean and then Monday morning we came down to a hotel lobby that was being used as the movie set for "22 Jump Street". Ryan was all giddy because Jonah Hill's extra said excuse me to Ryan when he was at Starbucks. By the time we left the hotel the bellman said they had shot the same scene like 11 times. When we stood by watching them film Jonah Hill was having a hard time getting the Lamborghini door to open. I finally have all my photo's on FB just in case you want to bore yourself with my awesome vacation.
 https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10202620804899710&type=1&l=1e8c844aaa

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/23/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/23/2013

It's a good thing that Bill and Roxanne weren't able to attend Jessica's Ugly Sweater Christmas party because they wouldn't have won with their sweaters and we all know how competitive Bill is. I think Rick took home the prize for ugliest sweater, he had a tree branch sewn onto his shirt that kept creeping up to his face with a Charlie Brown Christmas Nativity Scene on it. Tim was a close second he had all sorts of crap glued and bells pinned onto his sweater.

Rick also lost one of his balls on Saturday night, it's probably because he made Jennifer get out of the car to pump gas because he didn't want to be seen in his sweater.

We started Season 6 of "Mad Men" over the weekend so if I start smoking and pouring whiskey at my desk you'll understand why.

Rick says he's too old to drink anymore.

Matt says he's been "playing" very hard because his rib now hurts.

Ray is Roger's new hero because he gave him his button.

Mary thinks her husband has a reputation.

"If I'm not dying I'll be here." Jessica

Toni's girlfriend from next door wouldn't give him a catalog of their crap today because she thinks that we steal their customers. So Mary went over there to tell them that we never sell cork flooring and that we don't steal their customers and all she could say was that we are all b*tches and unfriendly people except Jessica.

Toni thinks he's a fabulous b*tch.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/20/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/20/2013

Roger's daughter got married yesterday but before the wedding he played a bellman in the hotel lobby of the Fairmont in San Fransisco. It's a long story about his suit jacket missing a button but the story has a good ending.

After Roger's daughter got married they came out to a bunch of naked people protesting at City Hall. There was Nude Activist who ended up getting married there later in the day and it said she started in a dress but ended up in just her veil. 

Why does all the best stuff always happen to Steve? He was out watching his girls sled this morning and a car was coming down the hill and he got his girls out of the way and the lady rolled down her window when she got to the bottom of the hill and told them to get off the hill because it was f*cking ice.

Toni wants to be the only one to handle Bill's package. Roxanne you should take those as fighting words....I have a feeling that Roxanne could win since she knows Karate but only if Toni doesn't have his Batman Cape on.

Typhinee is dogging out again on us and not going to Jessica's party tomorrow night. All I have to say is she's going to miss out on my husband's awesome Crab Salad. 

Tim's already talking about how smashed he's going to get at Jessica's. 

I heard I missed out on Bill and Roxanne's Christmas Card this year. So to get back at them they get to be the Elves on Elf Yourself, sorry Steve and Matt I know I normally elect you two. 

http://host-d.oddcast.com/php/application_UI/doorId=1177/clientId=299/?mId=54908561.2

I almost forgot that Mary resurrected some dude today at Nordstrom. Then he didn't want to stick around for the ambulance.

Here's a picture of our winter storm for all of you who decided to be out of town. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/19/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/19/2013

Toni and I looked up the sweetener in those Sugarless Gummy Bears today and it was Lycasin and one of the references to Lycasin on Wikipedia was an article titled "What Candy has dieters running for the restroom?"

How did Cody score a hot girlfriend? Actually I know why he would.

"I am only human."Mary

Tim thinks he's super human, I'll let him think that since he's kicking everyone's butt in sales right now. 

"She's still lurking" Toni about me being in the back room

"Either Bill or you (Mary) or both of you will kick my a$$, if I don't sell it" Tim about his ugly carpet in the warehouse

This is creeping me out worse than Roger being here, I changed my Best Buy account last week, took out all of my credit card information and changed my password and someone went back in and changed the ship to address that they previously set up.

I have a few more stops on my vacation to cover. Our last stop on our cruise was at St. Thomas (USVI) and we ended up taking a ferry over to St. John and went snorkeling. We ended up deciding to leave Caneel Bay (picture 5 & 6) for Jessica and Chris to explore someday and we went back to the National Park at Trunk Bay (bottom picture) like we did last year. When we were on our boat ride over to the island we saw a dolphin and a baby dolphin swim up under the bow of the boat then they left. The snorkeling was beautiful and all I have to say is rum punch can really sneak up on you, I thought for sure Ryan was going to have to carry me back to the ship.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/18/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/18/2013

I have a feeling that I won't be winning the Ugly Sweater contest at Jessica's party. Ryan and I went to two thrift stores last night and couldn't find anything revoltingly hideous. I hope Jessica has a trophy as awesome as this one to give away.

I'm really disappointed that Bill and Roxanne aren't going to Jessica's party. Especially after seeing how "crafty" Bill's Christmas tree was.

Rick just doesn't feel the love from us anymore. That maybe partly because I called him a perve this morning.

Toni was happy because Dot called him a Dream Boy.

"Tyler is a freaking stud." Toni

Was it bad that I remembered that I needed to call Jared when I saw this dude on "Home Alone" last night?

I was so inspired last night from all of the reviews that I decided to buy sugarless gummy bears for everyone on my Christmas list.

"I'm going to write Roger down as a transgender male."  Mary

Mary sure seems to take offense when I throw her under the bus, I don't get it. She needs to lighten up.

Toni wants us as a company to go caroling while geocaching.

*not to be construed as gossip

12/17/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/17/2013

Tim has the funniest story about randomly petting a stranger with a fur coat and then he couldn't get his foot out of his mouth to save his life. I think it's why he tries to ask permission to pet everyone wearing fur now.

Roger's going to be terribly disappointed but I think the Chinese Buffet in Auburn went out of business and recently a different Chinese buffet has taken over the old BB Magraws space.

Apparently Charlie Sheen hooked up with another ex-porn star and says he's in love again.

Toni said if he wins the lottery that he's going to take us all to Monaco.

Toni thinks that Mike missed him today and came back just to see him.

Roger called me sister April today, apparently he thinks I'm a nun.

I'm mad, Roger and Dot are going to California without me and they have reservations to eat at the French Laundry. 

"I don't have to have candy to have a good time." Randy

Typhinee doesn't want anymore of our sh*t until Thursday.

Toni sent us a link for a review on some sugarless Gummy Bears that also work as a colon cleanse. This product had some of the funniest reviews.


http://www.amazon.com/review/R3FTHSH0UNRHOH/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R3FTHSH0UNRHOH


Now back to me and my trip. Our next stop was St. Maarten which was very interesting because it had a French and a Dutch border and each side was governed by those governments. The French weren't very business friendly so it sounded like the Dutch side was way easier to live on. We took an all day tour: we saw a very ugly naked woman on a beach because we walked too far and found the nude side of the beach, we found an awesome bakery, saw a surfer instructor guy who looked just like Matt, found Toni's Christmas present at a shop on the beach, went to Maho beach and watched people clinging to a fence (which is also on the edge of a fairly busy roadway) while trying to ride the jet stream of the departing airplanes and we also found a yacht with a helicopter that Toni can rent when he wins the lottery to take us somewhere exotic.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/16/2013

The Daily Chatter*

12/16/2013

I heard that a giant gorilla named Antonio crashed the party next door on Saturday night and that the DJ loved him. 

I find it really bad when Matt can embarrass Roger because it takes a lot to embarrass that freaky dude.

Mary thinks it's a Christmas miracle that her ipad cover is lining up with the edges which it hasn't done before. 

Here's Toni falling in love with Steve and Jenny's baby. 

Thank-you Joe and Jenna for my sugar high today.

Bill and Roxanne got a little busy in the photo booth on Saturday night and took pictures to remember the occasion. I just discovered they weren't the only ones, I guess Tim was out of town too long..... It was bound to happen he was looking on porn on youtube all night. The funny thing is he doesn't remember making out in the photo booth.

There was a picture of a leg up in a picture then the next picture did this. I think Bill had a smart camera setting on...because whatever kinky thing was going on we didn't need to see it.

Here's some of the best pictures from the party.

*not to be construed as Gossip