The Daily Chatter*
09/21/2016
"I'm not sleeping with Matt." Roger
"Roger, you're a big fat liar." Tim
"Did I wake up in the middle of the night and call you again?" Roger to Tim
"I one time ate part of a Jimmy John's wrapper that tasted better than those chips." Bill about Toni's chips
Roger got jealous today. I told him that I was going to hire Andrew as my life consultant because he knew everything. Roger said that he wanted to apply also.
What I actually need is a combined Lady's Maid/Lady's Companion because I would like this person to: yell at stupid people for me, decide my wardrobe, read and sing to me while I sleep, shave my legs, ramble off funny sayings from "Friends", "Seinfeld", "The Office" and "Arrested Development" and make me laugh. I guess that position has been filled, my husband for some reason will do all of those for me for free.
"Kids are the worst." Toni
*not to be construed as Gossip
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