03/31/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/31/2016

Tim has a picture of his three grand daughters on his lap that is now his desktop picture. Bill told him he needed to watch it or somebody was going to think that he likes kids.

Hawaiian shirt Friday is on tomorrow only because Toni will be gone to Portland and he so badly wants this. We will also have a Luau since it will be our first and last one. I guess I should invite Kevin since he's from a tropical place even though he's not a native of Hawaii.

I accused Roger of losing things but he informed me that Dot puts him in charge of keeping track of their plane tickets and passports when they go on vacation. She's not dumb I know that she carries duplicates.

Bill thought he smelled potato salad and all of a sudden he was upset with me for holding out on him.  I unfortunately didn't have potato salad.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/30/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/30/2016

"I think Roger failed me." Bill

I hate to say it but Tim actually failed Bill and Roger saved the day.

Jenny is due any day now.

Toni for a moment thought I hacked into his phone to get his leprechaun picture the other day.  I informed him that I work for the FBI and this job is my cover.

I'm pretty sure the answer to the question below is to not wear your bathing suit and don't hang it in the sunlight. 

"They don't let me think." Tim

I swear you can't leave Toni alone for one second or he gets into everything. 

This guy who could almost double as Steve started recreating photos of people on some social media website.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/29/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/29/2016

Toni for some reason is embarrassed by his leprechaun picture and wants to kill Bill for sending it to me. Does he not remember that he went out in public with that get up on....I don't know how Toni figured out that Bill sent the picture to me because I originally told him that Riley did it.

I got a notice from my credit card company that somebody tried to buy a bunch of horse stuff on it. It sounds like Mary's crazy horse lady friend stole my credit card, unless of course my husband was going to buy me a horse and all of the accessories for my birthday and transport the horse by Uber because that was also on the card. 

"He's out there dicking around." Bill about Toni

"I don't have the heart to tell Toni that's the way all guys look after marriage." Bill

Patty Duke died today. We just recently saw her on "The Love Boat". Yes you can thank me tomorrow for making you sing the opening credits song all night long or at least that's what happens to me when I hear mention of the show. 

Mary's already planning on playing hooky for most of tomorrow just like she did today.

 

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/28/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/28/2016

It was a big day for Bill, he found the check that he lost when I was on vacation.

I know I overstepped my boundary lines with Roger when I went to Seattle over the weekend but in my defense he was out of town. 

Tim survived the dentist today after sniveling about it for hours. 

Toni bought the tickets for his honeymoon and decided to have a layover in Turkey even though the State Department's travel website says Don't Go There.

One kid thought he found a real leprechaun over the weekend and started giving Toni his Christmas list.

The insurance company finally totaled Toni's car so he's on the hunt for the perfect car to express himself. Here's a few that he's been looking at.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/25/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/25/2016

I really think Bill talks to himself way more than I do.

Mary thinks her husband is horrid because he got her sick again. 

"Can we make Hawaiian shirt Friday a thing?" Toni to Bill

"Are you going to go wearing that shirt with me?" Tim to Toni

Tim wants Toni to get a real car. 

Typhinee found Nerf ammo in the women's restroom today. It's a good thing Roger didn't find it or he would have filed another police report.

We returned to the Kona side of the island and braved the ocean at night to swim with the Manta Rays. At sunset the whales and the pods of spinner dolphins were all out and performing for us, I wish I would of had my camera out because it was really incredible. Instead I have a short video of the Manta Rays that we saw. Toni, they don't have teeth so they won't bite you in case you think they're just like killer whales.

https://www.facebook.com/april.kendall1/videos/10208819231736507/

*not to be construed as Gossip

 

 

 

03/24/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/24/2016

Bill wants the commercial sales team to do a Charlie's Angels pose with their laser tape measures for a website photo.

Bill said he was in a parking garage today and he heard somebody yelling at him and he decided it was just some crazy person so he kept driving. Well eventually he had to stop or slow down and this person started banging the back of his car to get his attention and he got out of the car to beat this person up, only to find out that it was his wife. Thankfully he didn't punch his pregnant wife he actually showed some restraint.

Stay away from Mary, she thinks she's getting sick.

As for our last day on the Hilo side we visited three large waterfalls in the pouring down rain and a botanical garden. We were definitely looking forward to getting back to the dry side of the island the next day. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/23/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/23/2016

Bill said an architect thought that if we used lighter grout on his job that it would be easier and he wanted a better rate.

Tim doesn't want to write a Bio for our website....imagine that. 

How many years has it been and Roger still doesn't understand our fax machine.

The stupid man in the tree came down today. It's a good thing because it was really irritating Toni.

Friday morning at Hilo we indulged at the Mauna Loa macadamia nut store then headed to the Volcano Winery and had a wine flight. All I have to say is that I was Ryan's problem since he let me do a wine flight by myself instead of sharing one.  We proceeded to Volcanoes National Park where we saw a bunch of lava fields (like the rest of the island), walked through an old lava tube and witnessed the heat and sulfur of several steam vents. We had a lovely dinner at the Volcano House and saw the the glow of the lava within the crater at night, Ryan's still disappointed because we didn't see any lava spewing out.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/22/2016

 The Daily Chatter*

03/22/2016

"Loans are forever, marriages are temporary." Mr. U'nnells

Bill was upset because Toni was sucking up to me today.

Michael is the devil, he was passing out pastries that a rep brought in.

Bill told Cody that he wasn't a spring chicken anymore.

On Thursday we drove to the Hilo side of the island, it was noticeably cooler and the sun didn't shine as much but it was very lush.  Luckily on our first day on that side it didn't rain and we visited Lava Tree state park, where old lava covered tree stumps looked like phallic statues. I also discovered that a very distinct Puerto Rican frog came to live in their forests and apparently it's invading some of California too. Later in the day I got to swim in a very large tide pool full of fish. Then at night our hotel sounded like the middle of the rain forest with all of the Coqui frogs chanting their mating call.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/21/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/21/2016

Finally Ryan and I got to enjoy a food show yesterday without seeing Roger.

Typhinee finally got her Tahoe back and she's so happy. She keeps talking to it every time she sees it today.

Bill's recommendation for Cody is to dump his new girlfriend since she doesn't like Chinese Food.

Mary thinks her ipad is giving her carpel tunnel.

Here's our lovely view of the ocean from breakfast on Wednesday morning. Afterwards I went snorkeling since Ryan got a cold, that he later gave to me, so he had to stay on the lava beach while I swam with the turtles. For lunch we visited a restaurant that had guava jelly containers on their railings for the gecko's to eat and then we indulged ourselves at a Kona coffee farm.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/18/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/18/2016

Bill can't find a thing in his desk and he blames his wife every time for organizing it.

"I'm better than a dog with two dicks." Toni to Roger

Three dicks is better than having three balls according to Roger.

I really don't understand why Mary had to miss work today. I'm in agreement with her favorite brother, how long could moving your parents really take and why should she bother to show up, somebody else should be able to take of all of it.....

We ventured out for a snorkeling beach on our Tuesday in Hawaii and came across a bunch of beaches with very harsh waves and lava rock. On our third attempt we came across a beach we could actually snorkel at and the fish were plentiful but so were the people. For lunch we found a BBQ restaurant that was ranked highly on Tripadvisor in the area and Ryan noticed they had a 425 area code and it turned that the couple who owns the restaurant used to have a restaurant in La Conner. Our major event for the day was that we got to go to Mauna Kea and see the "Star Wars" like setting while the sun set, they have the world's largest astronomical observatory on top at 13,796 feet. Much to our surprise we also got to see a solar eclipse from the mountain. Afterwards we got to star gaze and see some interesting stars and planets through high powered telescopes which was pretty incredible.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/17/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/17/2016

We need to fire Steve again, I don't even need to do forensics to know that it was his sticky adhesive boot print all over the floor this morning that I had to clean up.

I hope Mary doesn't get mad at me but I vacuumed up her ant farm that she was feeding on her office floor.

"I can make some sh%t up can't I." Bill to Roger    He should be writing the chatter but he's been banned since the pig orgasm episode.

"If you live long enough you'll  end up an old lesbian." Roger to me

"I feel like I was set up." Bill about his wife sending him to the dentist first

Last Monday morning while all of you poor schmucks had to go to work and see Roger, Ryan and I headed to the north end of Hawaii and hiked down to the Pololu Valley and to the beach which was absolutely beautiful of course. On our way back to our hotel we stopped at Kiholo Bay because I read that turtles often frequent the beach. Somewhere I also read that it wasn't a place to snorkel because of the tiger sharks and rough waves, well that reviewer obviously didn't walk down to the lagoon area because this would have been an amazing place to snorkel with dozens of turtles. I will hunting down that tripadvisor.com reviewer and sending them multiple glitter packages.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/16/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/16/2016

I just can't trust Bill to do anything.

Apparently Damon won't ever be allowed to use the credit card again. Bill sent him to pick up a thing of epoxy and he paid for a generator for another company. 

"My life would be a lot different if I could install rubber." Steve as he was installing rubber base and grumbling about money

"I need to make rules." Toni to Bill  (Things getting too kinky?)

Speaking of kinky, Bill told Serge he wants to wear shorty shorts (I think he wants to be like Toni).

Toni really wants to know if Jenny is going to have some crazy word phrase for when she tells Steve that the baby is coming. I'm pretty sure that's going to be the least of her worries.

As for our trip, we landed in Hawaii in the middle of a giant lava field with a plane full of butch old lesbians and we had to walk down a flight of stairs into an open air airport, I felt like I was in the middle of Nowheresville. While being driven to our rental car company I spotted a wild black goat in the middle of a lava field (that was the first of many goat sightings). We then baked in the hot sun while we waited for the massive line at the rental car facility to disappear. Then the guy at the rental counter told Ryan that the best snorkeling on the island was at South Point (Southern most point in the US), obviously the guy didn't like tourists because we later discovered that we would of had to jump off a high cliff and we would have died from the treacherous waves and from being bashed up against the rocks if we took his advice. Here's a picture of one of the cliffs.

Luckily for the rest of the trip we found the natives to be very friendly.
Every stop seemed to be a little more of an adventure than the other islands of Hawaii because we normally had to walk a ways in order to get to our destination from a parking lot. On our first full day we ventured out for Papakolea (The Green Sand Beach (one of only four in the world)). The green is made from the mineral Olivine which erodes from the lava. This was the dirtiest 5 mile hike that I've ever been on but it was beautiful.

After our hike we went to the Kona Brewing Company Restaurant for dinner while still covered in green dust and I sat next to a gecko who was constantly grooming itself. I think he wanted to tell us something about our hygiene but I think he was mute just like Kevin my replacement.

*not to be construed as Gossip