08/31/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/31/2015

Ryan and I drove by the office on Saturday and noticed Bill's car, I'm sure he and Roxanne were just having sex on Toni's desk because that's all they do.

What's not gay about all of Toni's friends sending him dick pics? He had to request their phone numbers since he had to borrow Mary's old phone and apparently she was getting his texts because her apple ID was still connected to her old iphone and ipad.

"How does water work? Nobody understands how water works." Roger

Toni's starting a black nose sheep farm apparently. They are adorable, I want in on this.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/28/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/28/2015

"I think I'm getting too fat to lay carpet." Josh

"That bill u'nnells is one sick mf'er." Toni

Loopy Larry is sporting a different car today, is he actually going to get his Scionari fixed or has he just moved on and stolen another car?

"Oh God, Bill's wife is loose and running wild." Tim

Toni broke his phone. I wonder what he did to it????

One of the islands, Dominica, that we're visiting in December on our cruise was clobbered with Tropical Storm Erika yesterday and last I heard it's headed for Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands (another three of our destinations). They have 99 days to fix this sh*t as Bill would say.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/27/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/27/2015

Ryan and I are down to 100 days before our next Southern Caribbean cruise:)

Mary made Jay cry today.

Bill is going to give us nap time everyday. We just need to make a sign for the door and tell the phones to turn off during our three hour nap.

The only time I saw Roger today was when he came in to tell me a racist statement that he claims Donald Trump said but I think Roger told Donald Trump to say it. I'm pretty sure Roger's hoping to be his VP.

Toni had a grass hopper in his home coffee pot this morning and he had a spider give birth in his bedroom this morning. Apparently if you want to see queers and insects just tour Toni's place.

Roxanne now has morning clothing issues because she doesn't have a uniform to wear anymore.

One of Mary's customers was concerned because their backsplash hasn't been cocked yet.....

"I'm so glad that you're in charge of this ship Bill." Mary    Nobody told me that I was on a ship...I don't see any water.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/26/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/26/2015

"I hate architects, they're the worst." Roger to Bill

"If I was Nikki I would be very concerned right now." Roger to Toni

Typhinee referred to all of the guys here as gentleman today, don't let it go to your heads....but Matt I don't think she meant you.

One of the trail websites mentioned a PNW indoor cat who loves to go hiking with its owners. I can't even imagine all of the scratches I would have if I did that with my sweet little demon hissing cat.

 I'm a little jealous right now, I heard that Roxanne gets gourmet meals for lunch everyday.

 Mary is feeling extra special today because she got a hug from her celebrity customer and apparently he's not a hugger.

Tim thought that Michael got a new office in our new server room as part of his rehire package.

Toni has a crazy scavenger hunt for his soon to be brother in law to do tonight. I think he was drunk last night when he came up with all of the things to do, it should be fun.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/25/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/25/2015

Roger was surprised that I knew who Edgar Martinez was...He explained that  he's the Puerto Rican looking guy because he's Puerto Rican.

Starbucks is already advertising all things pumpkin. I'm not ready for summer to be over.

"As soon as you walk in the door I start (drinking beer)." Bill to Toni

"You're better looking than me, lets just face that." Roger to Mary

"I'm a b*tch." Mary

"I'm a total dumba$$." Toni

If your name is Bill Hill, or something that rhymes, Roger will not like you or your name.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/24/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/24/2015

Roxanne started her new job today. I want to know when she gets the keys to the company plane?

Loopy Larry is sporting his black cowboy hat and a black blazer today, Toni thinks he's sexy hot.

Roger blocked Steve in this morning with his van and got out and started screaming, typical Roger.

Bill showed up in my dreams over the weekend, he decided he wanted to see if he really could have something with Julia Roberts.....somehow I was the one who had to give Roxanne his crazy news.

"Anytime I can screw up Mary's day it's a good day." Bill

"Highschool the best six years of my life." Roger

Toni seems to be a little on edge this afternoon, he thought I was going to hit him with a nerf gun.

It's trail picture Monday. On Saturday morning Ryan and I went to Sunrise and did the Fremont Lookout Trail and I kept telling him I wanted to find a mountain goat and a pika. I found the pika and then a little ways later it started to get windy and I started digging in my backpack for my scarf. After being completely oblivious to everything around me, I looked up to see a hillside full of mountain goats. We wandered off our trail to go see the goats, the babies were adorable and they had the cutest playful sounds, I wanted to take one home but Ryan wouldn't let me.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/21/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/21/2015

"This guy is grinding me and I don't do grind well." Tim   Apparently he prefers twerking.

A superintendent asked Toni if he was wearing his girlfriends jeans and what was up with his pink shoes.....

Steve said his broom has dingle berries all over it. That's really gross....

Jay told me that I was like The Wizard of Oz with my computer.

"I'm a bad bad girl." Mary  She probably got caught on Ashley Madison....

Today was Roxanne's last day at the Marriott. Now she can work on getting us that plane.

What's better than one bear in a pool, a whole family of bears...

I just found an awesome hobby that I can do every morning before people get to work. (See top row)

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/20/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/20/2015

Toni sure likes to break out in song a lot.

Roger pointed out Toni's hard hat and how he looks like one of the village people. Isn't that stereotyping?

Roxanne, you're going to have to get us all access to this bad boy....

Tim just can't do anything small. He passed out at the Casino Buffet last night because of the pain of a charlie horse in his leg and he had ambulances come for him. 

I just heard that Roger's going on vacation without me again....and I don't even know where he's going. I feel so left in the dark.

"It's hard being white trash." Bill to Mary

Marty turns 50 this weekend and now Roger doesn't like him.....

Roger just told me that he's going to Ireland and that he'll only take Dot if she promises to be on her best behavior so it sounds like I still have a chance to go...

Bill said he wouldn't steal bras from a clients home but yes to sex toys. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/19/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/19/2015

Roger approves of our mandarin soap in the bathroom because he has fond memories from his child hood of his dad bringing illegal mandarin oranges into the county from Canada around Christmas time.

Leave it to Tim to change out in the parking lot....

"Don't have kids! That's the f*cking bottom line right there baby!" Tim to Bill

It's a good thing that Roger wasn't here when Toni pointed out that there was a Jew on the loose, who the heck knows what he would have done....

Speaking of ethnic groups...you apparently can't take Mary and Steve anywhere with you.

I want a hot tub so that I can have a bear just like this Vancouver, BC people.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/18/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/18/15

The President of Vern Fonk died. Will they have more annoying commercials now?

I'm the best wife ever, my husband fell asleep during an Imax movie when we were at The Pacific Science Center and I bought him the DVD just so that he could see the whole movie...He tried sleeping through it again, that ungrateful man.

I just realized that either Roger stole Creed's line from "The Office" or Creed stole Roger's line about already having won a lottery....

Can anyone guess which one Bill is? Hint, he's the pasty white guy.....but I'm not sure what his excuse is.

Roxanne has a business card for someone with the last name Fudickar. Some German must not have liked that family when they made up their name....

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/17/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/17/2015

"Did he really just text me from the bathroom?" Josh about Steve

Toni lost his car this morning after going to a jobsite at a Frat house (no lie).

Bill thought he knew song lyrics better than Roxanne and apparently he does not...

"I'd fire me." Bill

Happy Birthday to Maureen O'Hara who turns 95 today. I was just talking about her the other night and didn't know if she was still alive and now I do.

"I hate tile." Tim

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/14/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/14/2015

Now we can take bets as to how long Loopy Larry will leave the spare tire on his car.

Roger doesn't think he will be able to handle my secrets. He found out today that I drink Starbucks coffee and that blew his mind.

Bill says his a$$ was in the fire today.

For those of you who are "Beetlejuice" freaks they are finally making a sequel according to shoplifter Winona Ryder. 

Today there's boobs in our forecast. I'm sure it was all because of Roxanne's mammogram. 

"If we lose power I'm going home. If my computer restarts I'm going home." Toni (he changes his mind so quickly)

The good news is I can start making fun of Michael again on Monday when he restarts here.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/13/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/13/2015

Michael thought it was depressing walking into Apex while Loopy Larry was outside trying to sleep on his Scionari.

According to Toni, Loopy Larry was out back and fell face first and the other neighbor picked him up.

There are some odd weather patterns going on...

Mary seems to think I need to lose weight, she even sent me a link to do something about it, what a  biatch.

Bill's sister asked their grandma if she wanted to see something gorgeous and she said she would have to get up and look in the mirror to do that...Now I know where Bill's ego comes from.

Here's what you can expect the White House to look like if The Donald wins.

Toni bought his ticket for Spain last night so as long as he gets his passport in time he'll get to go.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/12/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/12/2015

Tim thought Loopy Larry was dying in our parking lot but I think he was sleeping on his car again. Hours later Roger saw him sleeping on his car again and even Roger thought it was weird.

"I'm going to quit." Toni   "I did that last week and it didn't last." Bill

"Downton Abbey" filmed the end of their last season on Monday and we have to wait till January in order to watch it.

William Shatner is going to do a Treckie cruise in January 2017 which will be the 50th anniversary celebration of Star Trek. Yes, Roger you should feel old.

 

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/11/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/11/2015

Roger wants to know if the company will pay for his coke habit since he thinks he can get more work done while taking it.

Toni made cookies, if everyone but me is dead tomorrow, I'll know why.

"That woman from "The Daily Chatter" is going to get us all (Bill and Roger) in trouble." Roger....Apparently I missed something good because I have nothing to report.

Chandler and Joey weren't invited to Rachel's real life wedding...I smell trouble with Friends.

I thought this was a great ad, I'm not sure why they aren't using it.

"All I heard is that Toni doesn't like retarded people." Bill

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/10/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/10/2015

Bill tried jumping off the Narrows Bridge this morning apparently he was too chicken to do it.

Steve doesn't believe that men have landed on the moon. He thinks they flew around it.

 I'm pretty sure that Bill is going to have to buy Roxanne a cat so that she can do this to it.

Toni informed me that we have an idiot working for us and it wasn't Roger. Toni said it was himself.

Steve warned me about doing a slow shot boob scene with an iphone and that Matt said that they don't turn out that great.

Tim blew his rape whistle this afternoon and expected me to come running.... I thought Tim was here to protect me not the other way around.

"I didn't really come in here to b*tch." Tim to Bill

One of Toni's friends told him today that he tells all of his friends that he (Toni) is an interior designer.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/07/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/07/2015

Happy Birthday to Roxanne a day early. 

I think Bill sent Riley after me to herd me back to my desk, I told him that he was starting to sound like Roger.

Cody's friend thought he saw a midget at the bar last night but it was only my sister.

"I'm here but I'm not going to say why I'm here." Roger to Bill

I told Roger that Riley was a food whore and he immediately thought crack whore and I clarified to him that Riley doesn't like crack whores.

"I would love to put a bandaid on your butt." Steve to Toni

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/06/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/06/2015

Roger promised to ignore me, I hope he remembers.

Bill's an a-hole, he brought in doughnuts today but he blamed it all on Roxanne.

Toni ate the pink doughnut today and loved it....

Bill says Toni smacked his own a$$ out in the warehouse because he likes how it feels. I hope there's not a bunch of pixie dust all over the warehouse floor now.

Bill said he talked to Tim and Tim said he was just getting on a ferry/fairy....but Bill wasn't sure which kind.

Michael was creeping around our office today until I had our bouncer kick him out.

Bill told Mary that he wished he would have partnered with her brother because at least the man goes to work when their parents have health issues (Mary's mother had a stroke last night).

Roger and Dot went to "a total sausage fest" at the Seattle Center during a Dota II Gamer Championship. I have a feeling that after Roger saw the prize money he's going to turn into a gamer.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/05/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/05/2015

Bill is now excited for next year because it's a leap year.

Loopy Larry seems to be parking in back a lot lately. He must be feeling a little self conscience since we all seem to stare and make fun of his car every time he parks it up front.

Tim is hurt because Bill and Toni didn't take him to lunch.

Roxanne signed her new job agreement today. This calls for a celebration! Where's Bill going to take all of us????????

Apparently it takes two Thompson Tile guys to buy a coffee maker for their office as Bill found out today.

*not to be construed as Gossip

08/04/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/04/2015

Somehow my email or my contact list was hacked so I'm sorry if I told you that you were fat.

Ryan Seacrest's new show was axed after two episodes, now he knows how Paul Riser felt.

"Talking babies are almost as bad as talking animals." Roger to Toni

I'm very disappointed with Bill for not putting Steve on one of his deja vu jobs where the customer  complained years ago about some bathroom that Steve painted for him and so on. It was the job Josh was on today.

Bill sent a link for a website to check what the #1 movie on the day you were born was so I'm going to share those.
Me-Alien (Sigourney Weaver)
Bill-The Poseidon Adventure (Gene Hackman, Ernest Borgnine)
Cody-Stakeout (Richard Dreyfuss, Emilio Estevez)
Damon-The Long, Long Trailer (Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz)
Mary-Vertigo (Alfred Hitchcock)
Matt-Private Benjamin (Goldie Hawn)
Roger-The Robe (Richard Burton)
Steve-Absence of Malice (Paul Newman & Sally Field)
Typhinee-Joe (Peter Boyle, Susan Sarandon)
Tim-Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas)
Ryan & Michael-Funny Face (Audrey Hepburn)
Roxanne-Caddyshack
Toni-Look Who's Talking (Kirstie Alley, John Travolta)
Dot-A Star is Born (Judy Garland)

Cody says Loopy Larry's car is worse than we thought. He says it's scraped all the way down the driver side.

Some little toddler thought Roger was his uncle today....

Tim is pretty certain that I'm just showing pictures and talking about hikes that I did years ago. Apparently he must have seen how winded I get just getting out of my chair at the office.

I'm pretty sure Cody loaded Tim up with a pallet of cocaine today. It's a good thing Loopy Larry was gone this afternoon or Tim would of had a mess to clean up.

I thought I use a ton of post its but these people have me beat.

 *not to be construed as Gossip

08/03/2015

The Daily Chatter*

08/03/2015

Ryan noticed that both of Loopy Larry's front fenders have issues.

Steve has some exciting news, he and Jenny are going to have another girl.

Matt thanked Toni for letting him do a job at a women's locker room.

I wonder what Cody and Typhinee were doing together today??? Both of them missed work.

Now this is what breakfast time is all about. *Roger, beware this video may give you night tremors.*

I have more hiking pictures from Saturday to bore you all with. We had a beautiful hike up to Lake Eunice and at the lake you can see the Ranger Station at the Tolmie Peak lookout on top of the cliff which was the end of our trail before heading down the mountain.

 *not to be construed as Gossip