07/31/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/31/2019

Ashley for some reason is afraid to see my search history on my computer.

Sarah admits that she's a terrible person, I wonder what she did this time.

Somehow Roxanne managed to take video of herself during one of her Superwoman moves catching her son as he was falling off the couch. I personally think it was staged.

I finally finished going through my pictures from the weekend from our hike up towards Mt Baker. We hiked into two beautiful lakes and had scenic views of Baker and Mount Shuksan but only saw a couple pika as far as wildlife.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/30/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/30/2019

According to Bill safety comes third but he didn't know what came first or second. Hopefully food is one of those answers.

I realized today that Ashley is so desperate for a dog sitter that I can make up any rumor that I want about her and she'll still have me watch her dog this weekend.

I realized the other day that Faith has man hands just like me.

For years I always wondered why Steve's nickname was son of a b*tch but now I completely know why.

Sarah didn't have a lesbian weekend after all.

I got yelled at by Roger today and he claims that I effing lied to him. More than likely it was for his own good.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/29/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/29/2019

"You would think that I would know better, the only other guy who is here all the time is half girl and transitioning." Steve about Toni

Ashley's dog Kahlua now seems to be a lush because she loves mimosas.

Roxanne stole one of Bill's jokes at a party and Bill is livid at his wife because unfortunately funny is all Bill has.

"Because of your sick jokes....." Toni to Bill

"I don't like Canada." Bill because he doesn't want to give in and go to Victoria like his wife wants him to.

Michael thinks that he went camping with Ashley over the weekend but Ashley is denying it. I'm not sure who to believe since it wasn't my weekend to watch Michael.

Typh volunteered me to be the official company dog sitter so Kahlua will be here on Friday and Monday with me. I think I'm going to need new business cards. 

I finally made it through my pictures from last weekends hike and I realized I had a decent picture of the guy that I took a man card away from because his yoga pants were way more colorful than his girlfriends.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/26/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/26/2019

I'm so proud of Marty he has obviously read the employee handbook because he told me that "you're always more than just April".

How cute Toni and Typh have the same shoes.

Toni obviously didn't get any sleep last night he just called his baby a goblin.

Steve has obviously been traumatized by the word stirrups and according to him it can only be related to horse back riding, I guess that's what happens when you have four kids.

Toni seems to have an issue with new people and their names, he's calling this new girl Colleen.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/25/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/25/2019

According to Connie the birthday lumberjacks are not coming down off of her wall.

Michael seems to know all of the hot gossip around here.

Toni was freaked out this morning because he saw the countdown from his wedding on his computer screen, he was pretty sure that ghosts were in his office.

Faith now thinks that I make bombs in my office, she's obviously heard my devious laugh one too many times.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/24/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/24/2019

Bill's advice of the day, if you don't like the show "Stranger Things" don't let anyone know or you'll be stabbed by a mob.

"Where the he$$ is Bud today? Why does he need a day off, he just got a free trip to LA." Bill

Bill told me he had to leave early today because his Gardner was starting today. I asked him if he had a pool boy yet and Toni said that was his job but Steve still needs to dig to put in the pool.

I don't think Toni and I can be friends anymore he hasn't watched the British series "Doc Martin" yet.

Don't make fun of Ashley's new expensive sandals for being too small, she didn't want to wait to return them for the correct size, she wanted to wear them now.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/23/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/23/2019

"I'm not going to be a smart a$$ to this one yet." Bill about signing Connie's birthday card

Typhinee had a Kellen sighting last night at Wal-Mart.

"There's two problems with Tim....." Bill to Sarah

Bill thinks I steal everything good out of his desk. Seriously why wouldn't I since he hasn't been around.

Bryan's pretty sure that Faith senses when he's going to call her and she just leaves on her walks.

Steve is abandoning us tomorrow for a golf tournament or so he claims.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/22/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/22/2019

"I feel like an old beat up hooker today." Steve to Bill

Steve and I are twinsies today, we both got way too much sun over the weekend.

For all of our sake I hope that Sarah's husband made her dinner tonight or else I have a feeling that Michael is going to request to work from Steve's old office tomorrow.

Bill thought that I was nitpicking him chewing his food today and he seemed to get very defensive very fast and he even yelled at me that we weren't even married so he didn't understand how I could be so mean to him. This leads me to believe that the move did not go well last week and that he's going to sell off his family again.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/19/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/19/2019

Connie thinks Steve's car is cute, I didn't have the guts to tell her that people call it the clown car.

Toni was quick to leave the room after we mentioned that we were talking about Michael playing with Toni's nipples.

Toni called Bill early this morning only to ask him how old he is then Toni said Bill sounded pissed.

Ashley is finally calming down now that her nightmare project is finished so we're all hoping that she'll be nicer next week.

Obviously Jason must have sensed that I was critiquing his parking skills because he started parking out back.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/18/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/18/2019

Typh complained that Steve and I were being too loud this morning. She hasn't heard loud yet, this is obviously going to have to be a daily morning occurrence. 

The Veeps seem to be having issues parking today. 

Toni's not in his office but his lights are on, I have this feeling that he's curled up in the corner of the warehouse somewhere trying to sleep now that Lou and Larry won't let him sleep during the night. 

I just realized that fly tipping and cow tipping are nothing alike. No wonder why I don't understand half of what goes on in British shows. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/17/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/17/2019

Toni scheduled his own bitch out session this morning with everyone which was very considerate of him but mine took too long and now Sarah's mad that I took her time slot. 

I went out to rescue Toni in the warehouse because I thought he was being raped but turns out he was only playing golf. 

Typh made a sarcastic comment about Bill today and he wasn't even here to defend himself. 

Sarah was thrilled to know that her son still needed her today when he called her first for something. 

I told Toni that he has to wear his awesome new shirt of Taylor Swift's cats to our meeting next week. 

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/16/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/16/2019

Sarah claims that she's not young and modern. I think she's lying because she's an expert with clamps but maybe that is old school.

Bill didn't think that I was totally crazy after all, he had someone fix the website issue.

Donna (Tim's wife) came in and Sarah found out that she lost her bet because Donna claims she's flying back to Alaska this week to see Tim again.

Were all a little jealous Michael offered to cook for Ashley but not for the rest of us.

Tim called to gossip and to yell at me, he mentioned that his boat gets 1/2 a mile to the gallon. That being said I don't ever want to hear my husband complain about our gas mileage again.

Toni has somebody else to call Veep now, Roger's wife Dot is now a VP.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/15/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/15/2019

Happy Birthday Typhinee!

Don't try to rationalize with Typh when she's had too much to drink because she will start talking about everything in unicorn terms.

Toni finally came back to work today and could only talk and show pictures of his baby boy all day.

Michael seems to think that he's very good at laying things and tile was an odd example that he gave for some reason.

My husband screwed up the cake at the store by getting frosting on the lid and once he found out that it was for Typh he thought we should get a new one, he really didn't want to get chewed out by her.

Bill thinks we're all crazy because we can't get our own website pull up at work. It's true I tell you and Michael agrees with me (I really am crazy if Michael agrees with me).

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/12/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/12/2019

I was shamed today because I didn't realize that Typh wanted her birthday cake today. In my defense I told her if we celebrate on Monday we can celebrate her birthday all week (I think she bought it).

Ashley is now having her narcotics shipped to the office.

If you see Bryan this weekend talk softly because he will have a massive hangover.

Toni's going to be upset with me, I threw away his rotting banana that was sitting on his desk.

Onto our last day in California, we drove to San Francisco and went to the Presidio area and walked around a bit and avoided strange tap dancers before our flight home.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/11/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/11/2019

Marty is going to love the new girl, she knows all about race horses because of one of her previous jobs.

I'm beginning to think that my husband only thinks that I'm funny when I've had a few drinks because he absolutely insulted me last night by telling me that I came up with something that he only expected after at least half of a drink and I was completely sober at the time.

One of our suppliers listed someone's job sidemark as Burpinbox.

Ashley told me that her concert tickets were coming in today's mail (well they didn't show up) and I think she's about to become suspicious of me stealing them.

This next day was our scenic drive from Mendocino to Bodega Bay. Bodega Bay's claim to fame is having the Alfred Hitchcock movie "The Birds" filmed there and the we found the school house from the movie and luckily no pesky birds.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/10/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/10/2019

Sarah told Howard today that she's closing every deal....No wonder why Michael is jealous.

Steve is not a flip flops and jeans sort of person. I was surprised to hear how many fashion opinions this man actually has, he definitely has issues from being around five women and a mother in law at home.

My husband is always complaining about his work having too many rules but yesterday he was telling me about a look and feel meeting that they are going to have (he claims there isn't anyone worth looking at or feeling at his work but I don't believe him)....I'm beginning to think that we aren't the trendsetters that we thought we were.

Steve is under the impression that he's going to be able to drink all day before showing up to a wedding that he's going to....I hope he remembers how well that worked for him at his own wedding.

Poor Toni wasn't even at work today but he still got chewed out by Steve but luckily his nipples were safe.

Tim's wife called today and told me that Tim misses work too much, he's going to need therapy.

While in Mendocino besides eating and drinking too much we actually got out and visited a glass beach and a lighthouse that we found some adorable seals at. I did get a little freaked at the lighthouse because our first path told us that we were walking through a heavily tick populated area which was absolutely unnerving to me.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/09/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/09/2019

Marty complimented me on my outfit this morning but then he told me that I looked like a berry. Was he talking about my sunburned face matching my outfit?

Ross Perot died and Bill's pretty sure that the youngsters like Toni and Ashley don't even know who that is.

I think Michael and Sarah are having a lovers spat, he sure wasn't here very long today, I think he's trying to avoid her....I wonder what happened when I was out of town?

Faith thought she was smelling ozone above her desk. What exactly has she been sniffing in our warehouse? I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on that woman.

When I left for my doctors appointment I left a sign on my door that said something about I had a hot date and it wasn't with Marty and I'm pretty sure Marty was probably the only one who saw my sign.

Tim called today and obviously was bored without his wife being there because he wanted to know the latest gossip at work.

Should I be concerned my husband claimed he was taking pictures of the Fourth of July Parade in Mendocino yet I found this....

The other concerning thing about this picture is the town of Mendocino's population is only 894 redneck people and these ones would be considered the hotties of the crowd.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/08/2019

The Daily Chatter

07/08/2019

Toni and Nikki finally had their baby on the Fourth of July.

Faith says that she should never be left alone because her mind gets the best of her.

Bill tried giving Michael the subtle hint that he was fired by not signing his check but that didn't work.

Steve's getting a little picky, he wants a new door sign already.

I didn't look at it very closely but I'm pretty sure Bill sent me a vacation request to take the rest of the year off (because he's moving).

On Wednesday when we boarded the plane for San Francisco I could have sworn the apocalypse happened, the plane wasn't full, in fact I don't think it was even half full and in the last several years we haven't been on a flight where every seat wasn't filled. After we got to San Francisco we found our favorite cafe in Sausalito and had lunch there before driving hours up the coast to Mendocino to meet up with Ryan's brother and sister in law. (The pictures after the bridge are all of the ocean around the property that we stayed at, it was pretty incredible and I still really want to be there.)

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/02/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/02/2019

I realized I had a text this morning and I thought it was Toni finally telling us that he had his baby. It ended up being Tim mentioning that the porpoises gave him a fifteen minute show in front of his boat which is very exciting too.

Steve and Bill are going to start their own support group, Managers Against Dumbasses, M.A.D. for short.

I think I almost gave Sarah a heart attack twice today, I think she'll be glad to not have me around for a few days.

Ashley's sweet little dog threw up in her bed last night under the covers and because of it she decided that the dog deserved to be here, it was like she was rewarding her dog.

Poor Mary has been in agony all day, first Toni and Nikki were supposed to be at the hospital at 2 pm to be induced and then they didn't have room for them so now they think it may happen at 7 pm.

I will be in Mendocino California for the Fourth, see you all Monday.

*not to be construed as Gossip

07/01/2019

The Daily Chatter*

07/01/2019

"I don't want to overstep." Mary   Bill was pretty sure he heard her incorrectly....

Bill has named the new offices the annex and I'm assuming that the people who sit out there will be treated differently (especially since Steve is out there) than those of us in the West Wing or in the center aisle.

Mary won't be here tomorrow because she will be overstepping her boundaries and trying to push a baby out of her daughter.

Ladies it sounds like Michael will be around town for the fourth in case any of you get lonely.

*not to be construed as Gossip