01/29/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/29/2016

Last night we watched a near miss death on "Downton Abbey".

"I'm not as smart as I thought I was." Tim to Bill

Mary scored today she got a bunch of nail polish and nail designs from the guy that Cody helped with the forklift yesterday.

Toni can not go with Tim anyone to meetings. He volunteers for crap just like Tim.

"This is office talk, he can't talk like this way at home." Cody about Steve

Roger finally came in today. It appears that he's a makeup artist because his meth ridden face actually looks fine.

I'm the worst person ever, I got rid of Crystal today by telling her that Toni was here and it worked.

"Roxanne is still making fun of me for that." Bill about pressing the Amazon Dash button while installing it

Roger and Andrew were referring to their Tacoma today....I called them out on their love nest but they wouldn't admit a thing to me. 

 "Good new K..., I'm a dumba$$." Bill

Matt's about to get a compliment and have a big head for another week again.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/28/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/28/2016

I'm assuming that Roxanne is still ok and that she didn't choke on her snot last night. Or if something did happen, Bill hasn't said a word. (Ok he finally said she was still alive at 4pm today).

There's talks of a "Top Gun 2" but I can't imagine that Val Kilmer will be in it. Maybe Jerry Bruckheimer should take his spot, he looks pretty good for 73.

Speaking of Jerry Bruckheimer there is going to be a "Beverly Hill's Cop 4".

Why is it that Cody always has the craziest stories for us involving the back of our building. 

Roger is still avoiding me. I'm beginning to wonder if his meth habit finally disfigured his face and he's ashamed to be seen by me.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/27/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/27/2016

"He knows more people than a hooker on Main Street." Roxanne about Toni

Bill told a rep today that he needed to set up his PK meeting with Tim.

Toni and Bill now move mattresses for free. If anyone needs a mover, they are the guys.

Roger seems to be avoiding us....

Amazon somehow knows that Bill is an idiot and that he likes to click all of the wrong buttons.  

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/26/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/26/2016

"You went to a topless beach when you were 12?  My parents suck." Bill to a customer on the phone

It's a good day, the last season of  "Downton Abbey" DVD arrived today. I'm afraid though, some British woman on our last cruise mentioned that the British were upset that they killed off somebody else. I hope that she was lying to me.

Bill and Roxanne had a flight steward named Kramer on their way back from Vegas and the name automatically made them think "Seinfeld" and Roger.  Of course Toni's pretty sure he's already done this guy.

Mary had to argue to her brother that she's a fair person.

Al Gore's doomsday clock is going to go off tonight so I would like to tell all of you how much I have enjoyed knowing you and how much all of you mean to me besides Roger.

Stacy came to bring us exciting news today about carpet and Mary tried to be rude but it didn't come off that way.

Now Mary's sending out emails to me on wellness, thank goodness it went to my Spam folder. I'm sorry that I got sick a few weeks ago, what more can I say.....

"If she's going to be a pole dancer, she's going to need those legs."  Bill about his daughter getting Roxanne's side of the family height

Abe Vigoda (Sal from "The Godfather") died, he was around the same age as Roger, 95.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/25/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/25/2016

Toni got humped by some woman in a bar in Tennessee. Obviously she didn't know that he's queer. 

Toni also let some woman call a cab from his cell phone and the woman called Michael instead. 

"I hate all of you, you never listen to me." Mary to Steve

 I'm beginning to think that Toni took Roger to Tennessee with him and left him because it's been awfully quiet here today. 

Bill and Mary said they might need adult supervision the next time they go to Vegas, I suggested taking Matt and Steve with them. 

Speaking of Steve, he may have broke his daughters finger.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/22/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/22/2016

Tim was upset that I wasn't having problems with my Outlook on my computer like he was.

Is Toni really going to come back to work on Monday since Tennessee decided to declare itself a State of Emergency before the snowstorm hit.

A US University student is being detained in North Korea for committing a "hostile act" and "wanting to destroy the country's unity." The news article mentioned that this guy was a bright student but maybe he should have opted to go to South Korea or anywhere else. I was surprised to hear that 6,000 westerners go to North Korea every year.

The delivery drivers from Jimmy John's all know Roger as the a$$hole who times them.

Roger couldn't make it to work today he was too busy interviewing nannies and preschool teachers for his grandson. I hope that Roger isn't afraid of puppets or else he might not like manny's.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/21/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/21/2016

Toni is supposed to fly to Tennessee tonight despite the winter storm that they are having. Update, Toni moved his flight up and now has to make it to the airport before the plane leaves.

I have a really bad feeling about the ship they are on but as long as they only stay at the Bellagio Fountains I guess they should be fine.

Riley's thinks she's a sheep dog now that her hair has grown over her eyes. She likes to herd everyone into the back room and beg them all for food.

Obviously I've ticked Tim off and he can't stand the sight of me because I've only seen him for a few minutes this week.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/20/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/20/2016

Roger's going to be the grandfather of a grandson. So suck it Steve.

Roger felt threatened by Riley today, she wanted his lunch and she barked at him.

Toni is such a suck up, I'm not sure what he wants Steve to do to him but he gave Steve's daughter Dora the Explorer cookies.

I was looking for everybody on the Las Vegas Webcams today but instead I found the King doing his pelvis gyration for some visitors.

Apparently Selfie Sticks are Evil. More people died in 2015 due to Selfie related accidents than being eaten by sharks.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/19/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/19/2016

Cody thinks he's going to rock, paper, scissor me next time for Riley. I told him I would just beat him up.

Randy claims that the finger was in the nose this morning when he walked in.

"How come Steve gets Ninja Turtles and I get Penises?" Toni complaining about the birthday decor

Typhinee should be feeling pretty special today an installer gave her a bottle of Vodka with a scorpion in it.

I just watched "The Office" episode where Andy was the manager and he left for a few days to pick up Erin in Florida. Then the new employee Nelly walked into the office and mentioned that she had been transferred and decided to sit at Andy's desk and be the manager since the job obviously wasn't filled. Well I'm pretty sure Andrew just did that with Bill's desk.

Riley wanted to be part of the PK Meeting today but mean Typhinee wouldn't let her.

This outdoor peppermint smell is really driving Roger nuts. He can't figure out where it's coming from. We should probably put Typhinee's room mate on it, she's an investigator.

I was told that if Riley throws up Jimmy John's food that I should be calling Tim.

Toni puts us all to shame. He runs around all day helping everyone in this office and then he jump starts Nathaniel's car out in the dark cold rain.

Today's a big day for Roger, he should be finding out what the sex of his grand baby is and whether or not he can rub it in Steve's face.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/18/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/18/2016

Happy Birthday Steve!

Tim is ready for the bosses to be gone...I wonder what he has up his sleeve?

Nathaniel's throwing a week long party at Bill and Roxanne's place this week and it's not a cleaning party Roxanne.

Leave it to the men, they found the Vodka chocolate at the bottom of the Russian chocolate box.

I think Roger was more upset than Steve that I didn't bring cake in for his birthday.

Toni apparently bought a cheap ring because it broke already and the diamonds are falling off. The thing just may not make it to their wedding day.

Glenn Frey the guitarist from The Eagles died today at 67.

Roger, I need you to be on your best behavior tomorrow, Riley's coming to work. 

It looks like Bill fell asleep during Bingo. He just couldn't handle all of the excitement.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/15/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/15/2016

I blame Roger for making me sick, I just do.

Alan Rickman (the bad guy on the first "Die Hard") just died of cancer and he was also the same age as David Bowie.

I will apologize in advance, I watched a bunch of "The Office" episodes while I was out sick and if any of you find your stapler or other belongings in a Jello mold, I'm sure it was me.

Roger told me the other day that he tells everyone that  he doesn't drink but then he admitted that he does drink and it's all because of me.

Bill had some gossip for me this morning. He mentioned that Zach's girlfriend is pregnant.

Fox is planning to make a new "24" show and Kiefer Sutherland isn't  going to be Jack Bauer, that's really messed up. That's more messed up than Steve breaking his little girls arm last night.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/12/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/12/2016

"F*ck, you're handsome." Toni to Tim

Toni and Bill finally figured out that Ryan and I got a new car. Typhinee wins though, she figured it out first a few weeks ago.

Since Toni and Roger don't understand how to fill out their personal information on medical forms, I gladly filled it out for them and added additional notes on their sexuality, I thought it was imperative information.

Toni was such a nice guy today he brought me water during my coughing fit. 

My advice for the day is to never park near Lake Erie when it's freezing. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/11/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/11/2016

My husband should win an award for being awesome this weekend. He demoed out our bathroom and then he was nice enough to baby me later that evening when I got sick all over the place.

Bill thinks I'm pregnant since I threw up.

Ryan and I finally finished the last season of "Mad Men" so the liquor bar and the ash tray on my desk will probably go away soon depending on what TV show I start next.

David Bowie died yesterday after an 18 month battle with cancer.

Interesting, Toni came back just in time to see Crystal today.

"Thinking is a good thing." Roger

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/08/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/08/2016

Tim walked in at the perfect time today to make Toni nervous, Toni's mother was visiting.

Bill was wondering where Toni was.... Toni's job site is at a cheap bar, where do you think he is?

Out of habit, Bill almost hung up on Crystal on Tim's phone.

Toni thinks that Damon pronounces Schonox as Skullnuts.

Toni thinks he's a woman of principle.... This is going to be quite the wedding in August.

I dare someone to ask Nathaniel all of the words that he's memorized and then pawn him off on Toni.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/07/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/07/2016

Somebody needs to buy this Starbucks card for Roger.

Roger and Michael are thinking about starting some sort of prostitution ring so that there is bad juju in certain peoples homes just so that they can make a carpet sale afterwards.

Nathaniel told me that he's not good with names or faces today. Since Mary and I sit in the same office it confuses him because he was going to guess my name today and he thought it was Mary.

Roger says not to click on the "Where are they Now, the cast of Green Acres". He said they are all six feet under.

Ryan and I started watching "Outlander" recently, it seems to be an interesting show but it's right up Roger's alley since there seems to be plenty of nudity and sex scenes.

Toni went to a job site the other day on tribal property and found a man with the best job ever, an electrician who was smoking and drinking at the bar which was also the job site.

Roger thinks my hand sanitizer smells like liquor, I think he's addicted now.

 

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/06/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/06/2016

Toni may have parked a little close to the line this morning but Bill pulled in so that Toni couldn't get into his car.  Maybe Roxanne needs to give Bill some driving lessons. 

Tim finally knows what LMAO is....so now he knows it's not pronounced Lamo.

If the kid that Bill just hired today doesn't work out it's all Tim's fault.

"It's only funny when I do it to you." Bill to Toni about Toni blocking him in after lunch

"You kind of look like the uni bomber at the moment." Roger to Toni

"Nikki's the only beard I need." Toni

Tim mentioned today that something reminded him of going to the gynecologist. He's obviously not the man I thought he was....

 *not to be construed as Gossip

01/05/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/05/2016

I forgot to mention that Bill and Roxanne are having a white baby girl according to the cake. It would have been a black baby according to Roger if the frosting had been chocolate.

Roger reported Toni's bad mouth to Bill today. I'm pretty sure Bill told him to F*ck Off.

"I was sh*tting myself yesterday." Tim    I apparently need to buy some Depends for the office.

"I'm an a$$hole." Bill

Roger implied that I'm not aging well. He thinks that if we stood side by side people would think that he's the younger one.

 A billionaire in Seattle died recently in an avalanche, I sure hope he left me money for a face lift.

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/04/2016

The Daily Chatter*

01/04/2016

Dot's daughter is pregnant and due right around the same time as Bill & Roxanne. Roger is gleaming with excitement, I'm pretty sure he thinks he's pregnant. 

Tim told us that he's glad all of us are here so that he can have somebody to b*tch to.

"Don't really get on top of her unless it will shut her up." Mary to Roger about one of his customers

"You have a little bit of time but it's going to be ugly." Bill to Roxanne (I hope he's not talking about their baby, we don't need it to be a "Seinfeld" episode around here.)

Tim's looking forward to his a$$ chewing from Mary.

For New Year's Day Ryan and I went to Mt Rainier and did a hike in the snow. We made friends with a gray jay bird that we named Craig and he flew from tree to tree following us up to the top ridge of our hike, he seemed to really like our Fritos. At one point I thought he was going to fly into our bag. Ryan finally got to try out his snowshoes and I was just stuck carrying mine. 

*not to be construed as Gossip