09/30/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/30/2015

Toni said he doesn't like it that he's going to be away from his jobs while he's on vacation so I offered to go to Spain for him. I think he's really liking that idea.

Ryan saw loopy Larry waiting for the bus last night....

Apparently everyone around here knows that Mary's much nicer than I am but Roger didn't have to rub it in my face.

Cody broke his phone, I think he got mad at Bill for not showing up to work today.

Roger thinks he's old....I think he's going to buy himself a cane for his birthday.

Cody thinks Mary and I are cynical of some gofundme accounts.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/29/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/29/2015

Happy Furbyday Roger!

Bill told Roger and me that he's not gay like four times in a row but he thinks Scott Eastwood, Clint Eastwood's son is hot.

Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon had to go to therapy, if our guys ever had to do this, this is exactly how their therapy would go.

Jim Carrey's exgirlfriend committed suicide and I'm assuming it's because they broke up last Thursday. She obviously hadn't looked at him recently because that's not something you should overdose for.

Roger is now planning on how to corrupt Bill's nephew to make him ready for the real world. I don't think he'll have to do much since he's going to be staying with Bill and Roxanne and have you heard Roxanne's potty mouth?

 The NW Chocolate festival is this weekend but for those of you who haven't bought your tickets yet the disappointing thing is Living Social is only selling a weekend pass but they do have a promo code available right now.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/28/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/28/2015

My husband made a terrible mistake last night, he questioned what I told him. I mentioned that he downloaded something to his old computer and he didn't believe me....Needless to say he can barely walk today but that might be from the 11 mile hike that we took on Saturday.

Loopy Larry wants a weekend job installing, he told Toni on Friday night that he used to install in Alabama. 

"Nobody has ever offered me sex for money." Toni

"Toni, you're a nasty nasty boy." Mary

"They're a sh*tty company but they're supposed to be." Bill about Flohawk

Typhinee was a little concerned that I didn't know what kind of cake Roger liked.  Does it really matter, he gets whatever I get for him....

Uh-oh Tim found the stash of Bill's blue pens and he really likes them.

"I'm protecting you, trust me, Roxanne grabs my phone and does some weird stuff." Bill to Mary

"Those guys are gross back there, I'm not sure how my Mormon nephew is going to handle it." Bill

Toni thinks I'm trying to poison him with rubbing alcohol in his coffee.

 "Drill him. You're good at that." Bill to Mary

Now for trail picture Monday, Ryan and I hiked to Colchuck Lake in Leavenworth on Saturday to only find out that my dad, sister and uncle had just left there from the Enchantments the day before.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/25/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/25/2015

Toni wants to know what happens to drunk and disorderly people on a cruise ship. We all told him to ask Matt where he was held for his entire cruise.

"I saw a penis on the way here." Toni

I need to apologize to Typhinee for my husbands driving, I think he cut her off last night. All I can say is now you see what I have to deal with....so really I'm the victim.

Michael mentioned he didn't bring enough dollar bills for "Friday Lunch" and apparently it's my fault since I didn't warn him. 

"I love those dumba$$es." Tim about Wrightco

Anyone who would have pattycakes as his password just isn't a real man.....Toni!

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/24/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/24/2015

Toni has to have a super sparkly day because somebody told him to.

I bet the Irish were glad to get rid of Roger especially since he did the driving over their. 

Toni's world is coming to an end because he forgot to change the words blah blah in his standard pricing email. I told him he should have signed it Bob Loblaw.

"I can't argue with Tim, he makes good points." Bill

"You're kind of b*tchy." Bill to Steve

Bill has come to the conclusion that Steve needs to shave his beard because the Seahawk's aren't winning....

 *not to be construed as Gossip

09/23/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/23/2015

Ryan finally got to hold his new grandson last night.

"Roger's face almost looks normal." Bill

Roger didn't find any of us at the airport last night so he didn't get a surprise party. We all went to the bar and had our own party. Then things got weird when Steve and Toni started doing Steve and Matt  things together....

"It's probably that sh*tty a$$ smile that you get whenever you talk to her." Mary about Bill on the phone with Roxanne

"You're like my best friend." Bill to Toni

Steve broke the Transit. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/22/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/22/2015

Bill thinks it's Christmas because he got a box but then was terribly disappointed when it wasn't even for him.

21 Years ago today "Friends" first aired. 

 Toni obviously thinks he's Magic Mike because he was doing some sort of strip tease scene for Bill and me today. 

It sounds like Tim finally had his toenail pulled and he thinks he's going to stay away from us for a few days. In fact he thinks he may not recover....obviously he doesn't want to see us again.

I'm surprised that Bill didn't print a banner because "The Muppets" are on tonight....

Roger comes home tonight and I've planned a surprise airport party for him so everyone will be hiding in baggage claim for him.  It's up to him to find all of his guests.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/21/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/21/2015

Mary's pissed because I became a grandmother before her. Ryan's son had their baby boy on Saturday night. 

I had horrible flashbacks today when the Tyco rep came in and I couldn't pawn him off on Bill because he was at lunch. Luckily it was the shortest conversation I've had with that man.

Bill can't wait for Roger to get back. I think he wants to dump crap on him then leave for vacation.

Typhinee says she's Crystal and Jared's marriage counselor...

What is up with Lady Gaga at the Emmy awards, she actually looks good.

Bill found out that Damon only lives about a mile from his new place. I think there going to be BFF's now.

"Randy's kind of a stud." Steve

I hope Roger remembers to bring me his vacation pictures along with his Alaska and Hawaii pictures whenever he returns to work.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/18/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/18/2015

We have a bathroom fan again!

"I'm just going to service him as much as he needs it." Toni being very gay

Steve thinks that he's beautiful and that Mary was talking about him today.

I don't know why Matt wants to leave us to go on a cruise he should be sick of the water since he had to play in it all day.

The caller id said Marriott today and it was not Roxanne....She really did move on.

Typhinee has a guilty conscience so she's cleaning. Roger should have a guilty conscience too and should be sending massive amounts of postcards.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/17/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/17/2015

"You're full of sh*t" Mary to Toni

"I'm going to f*ck your day up." Toni to Damon

"Has it come to this, where Mary beats me to work?" Tim

Tim's picture tried attacking me yesterday. I bumped his desk with the vacuum and it came flying down at me, luckily the glass didn't break. Obviously he has some sort of anger towards me....

"Women are expensive." Steve  Is this why he wants to have another one?

Bill told Steve something about his Aunt having balls....

"I'm going to introduce my life partner (Toni) to all of my new neighbors today."  Bill

A contestant on Jeopardy recently wrote "Turd Ferguson" as her answer. It's a real life SNL skit.

Another video to give Toni night terrors.  Killer Whales chasing a boat recently in San Diego.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/16/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/16/2015

Roger's out of jail but he's obviously trying to keep a low profile (hence the sunglasses).

I knew that Jamie Lee Curtis was Tony Curtis' daughter but I didn't know that her mother was Janet Leigh from "Psycho".

Toni said Loopy Larry almost hit him when he left the parking lot last night. Explains what happened to the Scionari.

Bill made a life graph today and Tim was the winner of the I don't give a F*ck column.

"You're such a b*tch." Bill to Mary

"Steve's making fun of your wife again." Mary to Bill

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/15/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/15/2015

Tim thinks he can't remember anything from further back than a week ago.

Roxanne already thinks her parents are crazy and wants to move them into an old folks home. I'm pretty sure that's what Bill's text was about.

Toni did not get a haircut, I don't care what Bill says.

I received absolutely nothing from Roger today.....I'm ticked, I don't care if he's in jail. I know Matt will send postcards from his cruise or at least picture texts of all the girls he meets.

Freaking News had a contest where they wanted people to come up with Celebrity Textbooks, here's a couple of them.

My crazy husband on Sunday morning rolled over and asked me if I want to go on another hike (after our fairly long Saturday hike that we were still recovering from)  being the glutton for punishment that I am I said yes. So we drove to Mt. Rainier on Sunday and did two short hikes through the forest. Here's the adorable elk that was chewing away on her food when I took her picture and Silver Falls.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/14/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/14/2015

Steve tried calling Bill's cell this morning and it went straight to voicemail and his personal message said that Bill's voicemail had been outsourced to India so please F off.

"Don't put your ball droppings on me." Steve

Bill found a video of Roger when he was a kid....it at least explains his monkey phobia.

 

Tim has a new scheme to make money and he wants Roger to write the show "Apex Predator". Tim wants to hunt in exotic places and have the company pay for it. Tim obviously wasn't paying attention because the only animals that Roger thinks should be shot are chickens, pigs and cows.

I still haven't seen any postcards from Roger...

I saw the funniest thing over the weekend and I'm so mad that I didn't take a picture. Ryan and I went hiking at Snoqualmie Pass and on our way down I saw this heavy set lady in her 50's being pulled by her adult son up a hill and when I passed her I noticed her adult daughter was pushing her rather large butt up the hill. It's a good thing I wasn't one of her kids or else I would have left her in the car.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/11/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/11/2015

Happy Birthday Cody and Happy Anniversary Michael!

Toni thought I brought in cupcakes for 9/11.

Mr. & Mrs. U'nnells sign papers for their new home tomorrow. 

"If you're too high to order pizza, you're too high." words of wisdom from Mr. U'nnells

Last Friday night Ryan and I went to the gas station and there was a car there who couldn't back up, it was like a 5 minute ordeal at the Costco pumps and I quickly pointed out they had to be Asian and of course an Asian woman got out and I started laughing thinking about the Pearl Harbor comment. Then while on the road somebody cut us off and they were driving slow and of course they were Asian. The DMV needs to quit giving these people drivers licenses if they don't have cars that can drive themselves.

I still haven't received a postcard from Roger, I better receive five of them on Monday.

I missed the webcam when they took Roger out of the pub and into the police van today. I hope he didn't do something with a goat again...

Bill thinks Crystal buys her perfume by the gallon. Video clip is compliments of Toni.

Typhinee had to go and smoke to clear her lungs while Crystal was here today.

Man Justin Bieber just keeps getting hotter, especially with the patience tattoo down his neck.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/10/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/10/2015

Happy 32nd Anniversary to Mary and Randy. 

Toni says Tim got his toes cut off yesterday, I sure hope not.

Toni caught four crabs on his fishing line over the weekend. He obviously doesn't know what he's doing.

We haven't received any postcards from Roger yet, that ungrateful prick. I expect to receive one everyday.

"Mine has all of the porn on it." Bill about his computer

Steve said that everyone including his wife has laughed and pointed at him this week. Bill pointed out that nobody should be laughing at him since he is driving the batmobile. (Just look at the dirty back windows).

Apparently Gary Ridgway, the Green River killer,  was recently transferred to a federal prison in Colorado and he's now eligible to interact with the public by getting a job.  Hopefully nobody will actually hire him.....I know Bill would do it just for the publicity so it's a good thing that he was transferred out of state.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/09/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/09/2015

Who the heck forgets that they're having toe surgery and plans to go out fishing the next day? Tim apparently. He keeps telling me that his memory is going and I'm starting to believe him.

Toni said the only person stoked to be picked for jury duty was a bum sitting next to him. He was excited for the $10.00 a day wage. Toni was just a little ticked that the parking cost him $40.00 though.

Roger told us to enjoy the peace and quiet while he's gone but I'm pretty sure we won't get any of that with Steve around.

Toni was set free from Jury Duty today. He told me how excited he was to come back to work tomorrow....


If Roger hits the Temple Bar in Dublin, I'll know....they have a webcam.
http://earthcam.com/world/ireland/dublin/?cam=templebar

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/08/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/08/2015

According to Roger the new girl has a heroine addiction and she already knows that she has to date Damon on the weekends.

Toni thinks that Jury Duty is a good excuse to not come into work and Tim thinks that taking his boat out into the salt water on Thursday is a great excuse to skip work.

Joe shaved his face and he is already getting women who want to pawn their daughters off on him.

Roger leaves tomorrow, I just hope that his wife can handle two whole weeks with him.

I have more hiking pictures to share. Saturday morning Ryan and I drove to Mt Baker and we were pleasantly surprised to see the sunshine that we were promised by the weather channel. We started heading up the mountain and all of the sudden the fog and the clouds started rolling in.We got to the top and could hardly see Mt Baker. We started hiking up table mountain and the scenery changed so fast, there were times that we could see the surrounding mountains and other times were everything was covered by the clouds. According to Ryan's GPS elevation app he fell a long ways but I don't seem to remember that because I'm the one with the bruises from falling .

 

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/04/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/04/2015

Crystal said Typhinee walked right past her while she was on her phone coming into our office.

Toni showed up about 1pm today and then took off again, apparently he thinks he's already started his holiday weekend.

Michael came in today to obviously get his Mary fix before the long weeekend.

Only in Japan would they decide they need a toilet museum. Toto may be ingenious but really do they want kids going in their displays like on the movie "Couples Retreat".

According to Roger, chickens, pigs and cows are the only animals that should be shot because those are the only animals that he will eat.

Yesterday it was Roger who wanted to commit suicide and today it's Toni and he didn't even have the same conversation with Mary.

"Guy was a total homo." according to Toni   I'm confused why is a homo calling another homo a homo?

Happy Labor Day Weekend!!!!!!!!!! Don't answer the phone if Steve calls, he'll only be calling from jail exhausted because he's pretty sure the other inmates will really like him because of his good looks.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/03/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/03/2015

Roger leaves for Ireland in less than one week.

Steve is taking over for Roger when he's going to be out of town. Steve thinks the ladies need to watch out because he thinks he's better looking than Roger.

Bill was turned on by Steve today but still thinks Roger is better looking because of his new teeth. 

Roger took Steve out on a measure today and Steve said that they "were going to double penetrate them." Roger would like it to be known those are Steve's words and not his. I don't think he wants any issues tonight with the misses.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/02/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/02/2015

Apparently Roger was arguing with himself at lunch yesterday.

"I'm a normal guy, I get a bad rap from her (pointing to me)." Roger

"I thought you sounded more normal than usual." Mary to Roger about being on Novocaine

"This is a f*cking depressing conversation. I just came in to see how you were doing, now I want to slit my wrists." Roger to Mary

"If there is some weird freaking sh*t, it's always you." Bill to Steve

Steve mentioned that he crammed the van full of crap today and had the back doors open some and right before his exit he said somebody started honking at him and he turned and waved and it was GB telling him that crap was falling out the back. Steve was ticked that Gary didn't pull over to help him.

We were talking about people who should have been pissed off by Steve and who weren't and two seconds later one of those people from Steve's past called.

Tim claims he was working today but I just don't know about that man. 

Bill claims that he didn't tell Cody no on the bluetooth speaker fan. He claims they exchanged smiley faces by text and that was it. Cody I think you have an exchange to make at Home Depot.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/01/2015

The Daily Chatter*

09/01/2015

Roger scolded Toni about his language this morning. Apparently Roger has different rules before 9am.

"That was a wasted trip back in here." Roger to Bill "You could have gone home and had your wife tell you no." Bill to Roger

Bill told Toni that he had quick cat like reflexes. That's why Toni likes the phrase "You're the cat's pajamas."

"If I do the brakes the tires fall off." Steve

Toni thinks it's raining pigs and chickens today.

Steve is the grossest person that Toni knows. Steve was hoping that Mary still got his texts pictures last night but it's a good thing that she didn't because even Toni was disturbed with what he was sending. Apparently it made for great family dinner conversation last night.

Bill totally ruined my day. Cody came back from Home Depot and mentioned that they had a bathroom fan with bluetooth speakers in it and Bill told him he couldn't buy that one. How awesome would that be if every time that Roger went into the restroom we had Ross yelling "Pivot" or the line about his testicles or Phoebe singing Smelly Cat....but now we can't have that and Toni's going to miss out on the YMCA and lots of Boy George and George Michael. So in reality Bill ruined everybody's day....

*not to be construed as Gossip