10/09/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/09/2013

Rick thought I screwed up his email yesterday so that he couldn't join in on the Chatter conversation last night, he was very upset with me this morning.

Interesting that Roxanne brought up the guys going Commando last night. Toni was telling me about this incredibly horrible show yesterday that's on TLC "The Man with the 132 Pound Scrotum". 

Tim's excited about October 13, 2014 because it will at least be a Monday.

Real life Barbie shoes.

Roger told me to "deal with it" today. I would but I don't know what I'm supposed to be dealing with.

Toni wanted to know if it was gay to send smiley emoticons to other guys so instead he sent hearts and rainbows. That's what happens when he asks for Bill's advice.

I got called beautiful today even though my husband thought I was a little insane this morning, I probably looked like I was preparing for a trip to Antarctica; I had on a coat, a scarf and gloves. 

Jessica dripped carmel sauce down the front of herself today and luckily Rick was here to offer to lick it off for her.

Toni doesn't want his fish to get fat or binge eat because he doesn't want Mary to think that he's a bad father. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/08/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/8/13

I had a dream last night that Matt was irresistible to all of the women in the office...You'll know tomorrow when he starts strutting a new walk that this didn't go to his head.

Mary's afraid that Henry is going to get monster huge if Toni feeds her because she read about it happening in a Dr. Seuss book. 

Tim may have given up too soon on wanting to sell pallets for extra cash. Toni used a pallet the other night to make a similar wine rack as this.

"I know you are going to say no to this." Tim trying anyways

Bill wants me to bring a new fish in on Monday in case Henry dies over the weekend. 

Matt said he felt like an animal in the zoo because he went paddle boarding on Friday and heard the Argosy cruise tour guide mention them and how brave they were not to be wearing wet suits all of a while the tourists were taking pictures of them.

Mr. U'nnells seems to be "Full of Life" today or at least that's what his Shaw PO says.

Roger freaking tried killing me with his chair today and then he had the nerve to ask me to delete comments from The Chatter.

"Don't give Roger free reign." Bill

Don't say Slow Motion Booth to Bill he interprets it as Slow Motion Boobs.

According to The Onion "Congressional Aides Withholding Sex Until Budget Compromise is Reached."

Mary informed me today that October 13th is National No Bra Day.

Jessica told Toni that he sounds creepy on the phone.

Mary's not happy, her car is ready from the dealership but she wants to keep the loaner car that she has now.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/07/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/07/2013

Toni got a present this morning, Tim brought in Henry the female beta fish for Toni to keep at his desk.

Jessica warns people that Mary may come at them like a spider monkey.

Toni thought I was getting a little personal when I asked him how his little guy was doing. 

Roger's other love Charlize Theron had neck surgery recently so now Roger and Charlize can be scar twins, even though Roger's scar is in another place. Now Mary's going to be upset that I didn't mention anything about her neck scar but she's also not infatuated with Charlize.

Finally a conversation where it can be all about Mary besides the spider monkey comment that Jessica made.... Scarlett Johansson was named Sexiest woman Alive again but if the judges would have seen Mary they obviously would have changed their minds.

Matt asked Roger why he didn't introduce him to his daughter on his birthday. Roger told him he didn't want him becoming family. I personally think it could have been great, I could have another blog just dedicated to their crazy lives and to how crazy they make Roger.

Tim, I know I told you that I was doing your job costing sheets today but then Bill pulled rank and made me do some of his.

Speaking of Bill, Steve did a pretty good impression of Bill/Jaba the Hut today.

 Apparently you can hang anything at Toni's desk and get away with it for most of the day. He didn't discover this until 3pm today.

Howard came in today to find Mary almost face down on her desk and talking on her phone. Toni just informed Howard that she was drunk.

Jessica got a new kitten over the weekend and forgot how hyper they can be but they are so cute at that age. 

 *not to be construed as Gossip

10/04/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/04/2013

Our cleaning lady probably won't be back, Jason scared her early this morning and she didn't have her pepper spray with her.

Roger chewed the crap out of Rick today and spit him out into tiny little pieces but then went to lunch with him. Roger definitely needs to run for office.

Bill doesn't remember what he bit Roger's head off over.

Seriously, who signed me up to receive baby stuff in the mail? I'm not pregnant, I may look it but I'm not. I received three different samples of baby formula yesterday.

Roger wants to do a "Say Yes to the Dress" marathon tonight. (Just a heads up Dot)

Toni had to rush home today because he didn't want Nikki thinking that the Comcast dude was better looking than him.

Toni told us that he's going to buy an incredibly expensive Audi but then he decided on maybe just buying one tire of the Audi.

Typhinee's not going to like me much, I tried confusing her in RFMS today. Tim has his eye on her now that she's been in RFMS to help him with all of his work.

I think Rick wants to come back already, he didn't get his hunting time off at his new job.

Bill and I have a feeling that Mary wants us to work at Stephanie's wedding. I think Mary wants Bill to be on hair and makeup duty where as I will be the bouncer.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/03/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/03/2013

Happy 10th Anniversary to Steve and Jenny!

Toni thinks Bill started drinking, he received a weird text from him at 12:04 this morning about Transformers. 

Poor Tim just lost his brand new stapler due to downsizing. 

Marty got excited this morning because he thought that I was flipping him off.

Toni told me this morning that he's not smart.

"If it was (naughty) you might be able to accuse me of it." Mary 

Roger's been very disappointed lately. He said he's made a few trips to Enumclaw and hasn't seen anyone having sex with horses or horses having sex with other horses or horses having sex with anything.

According to Roger today is Dot's birthday and he said that she's old...but not as old as he is. Happy Birthday Dot!!!

Tim made my crap list today. The man couldn't even print a map quest for an installer and made me do it.

 I think the guys are getting scared that the women are taking over the office and that we're going to paint everything pink and turn everyday into a pajama party that they can't attend.

Steve can no longer be left alone in the warehouse. He just gives away stuff.

Tim tried stealing one of Mary's customers today.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/02/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/02/2013

I'm starting to think that Roxanne wasn't the only one who touched the Moose's balls on Saturday. Nikki doesn't look so innocent in this picture and I can't see her other hand.

Roger told me that he was used to weird; he mentioned he's been working with Bill, Mary and myself for quite awhile now.

Steve thought he was Tom Cruise from "Cocktail" today. Where as Bill has never heard of the movie "Cocktail", loser.

Mary was telling us about how quiet her loaner Lexus car is and Bill noticed that she left the car on when she came into the office about an hour earlier.

According to Tim, Jessica is the lying b*tch today for tattling on him.

 Cody's girlfriend approved of Toni last night.

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/01/2013

The Daily Chatter*

10/01/2013

Sixty days and counting till my next Southern Caribbean cruise.

I wonder if Toni is going to sign up for the Ugly Sweater run. I think that's right up his alley.

"Are we talking about mistakes that Toni's made....because that's what it's sound like." Toni to Bill and Tim

Matt pulled out in front of us on "A" Street in Auburn last night and we decided we were going to follow him to the bar but instead he pulled into a gas station to ditch us.

Toni would already like to move closer to Kent but Nikki won't let him.

Toni for some strange notion didn't think it was going to rain today. Did he not see what it did yesterday and the day before and the day before that?

Tim wants to know why on earth Mary would go or be seen at the Spot Tavern. It's kind of a sore subject because Mary had her ipad and makeup bag stolen out of her car there last night.

Toni feels as if the back room is now flooded with women.

Tim called me "a lying b*tch" today behind my back.

According to "The Onion" the "US On Verge Of Full-Scale Government Hoedown".

Jessica turned Rob formerly with Karndean gay today with her awesome boots.

Toni thought I made up Jason's email address, I told him I couldn't come up with that even if I tried.

"I'm not going to turn my phone into a Hitler." Toni

Toni upgraded his phone.

 Bill asked me where our mustache material was. We really do have a little of everything at our office.

"I'll get on my boys right now." Bill

Tim has lost his mind, he is now singing the ringtone to Jessica's phone.

"Toni's pretty good with the arts and crafts." Bill

*not to be construed as Gossip