03/30/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/30/2018

My body is already freaking out that I can't have food and it's only noon. Ryan's definitely not going to want to pick me up from my doctors appointment tonight, I have a feeling that he's going to tell me to Uber it home.

Liam still looks tiny and Katherine's a whore. I'm just mad because she grabbed Kellen's hand when she was out in the warehouse today.

Ashley 1.0 had the nerve to ask me if I wanted something from Arby's today.

Toni got a job today because he looked at some woman's photos of herself from two years ago in a bikini.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/29/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/29/2018

I just realized I have to fast before my doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon. I'm known to get very hangry so you'll be glad when I finally leave the office to go to my appointment and you'll definitely need the weekend to recover.

Kellen gave Typh his cold left overs from KFC today. He asked her if she remembered the time that he took her left overs from the fridge? How could she possibly forget that Ross nightmare?

It's a miracle, Mary can remember things by just saying the word dementia.

According to Mary she's going to hire Ashley 2.0 so Tim you can stop asking her what she's still doing here like you did on Monday.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/28/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/28/2018

Toni thinks that he's going to be an uncle soon.

Tim and Michael apparently can't be separated in the new offices out back. Tim mentioned that they have to at least have a hole to talk through. Don't worry Bill already axed the hole in the wall idea.

"I'm not taking my chances with Mary (something about her being unreasonable)." Tim whining about wanting his hole again

The really good news of the day is Ashley saw the dentist. She freaked herself out watching videos  of roots canals that she didn't want to find out why her tooth was bothering her.

I really like having Steve's kids around, Maci thought that I was a genius because I could spell her name.

Tim wanted to know who threw him under the bus with Mary.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/27/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/27/2018

Michael was trying to entice Steve's youngest daughter to like him by giving her a plate full of popcorn but she was pretty leary of him, she has this stranger danger thing down.

Now Michael thinks that he's everyone's daddy. I guess being a major part of the Studio 54 revolution would make you wonder how many children you've actually spawned.

Tim went to lunch with two young women today.....

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/26/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/26/2018

Bill keeps referring to vacation as flying to Utah and he doesn't even like Utah. I think he needs to look up the word vacation to understand what it is.

"How to win friends and influence people 101 is not telling people to suck your dick." Tim to Toni

Here's a story that was recommended by my computer for me to read "Yes, I Use a Hair Dryer to Make Roast Chicken-Here's the Recipe". My computer doesn't seem to understand that if I want a roasted chicken that I'll send my husband to Costco to buy one.

Apparently all strangers thinks that Ashley 1.0 is everyone's daughter. Last week someone asked her if she was Bill's daughter and today someone asked if she was Michael's. Remind me not to go anywhere with her, I don't need people thinking that I'm old enough to be her mother or I'll need to go out and get a face lift.

Tim thought that he was too fast for RFMS and broke it.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/23/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/23/2018

I'm beginning to think that Michael didn't really go on vacation last week because he always brings me back gifts and I didn't get anything this time. Normally when he goes hunting he often brings back pine needles and tells me that it's for pine needle tea which is an excellent source of vitamin C. I don't really drink it because I think it will kill me but it's always the thought that counts.

Michael claimed he was in a blizzard today which I think is just another lie.

Ashley thinks that I took her off the chatter list and that I've been gossiping about her all week. As far as I can tell she's still receiving the email so I think maybe she's been a little distracted. It's probably been very difficult for her to keep her head focused on work with Marty working here now and gosh his Vespa. Truly any woman would want to rip her clothes off just thinking about his Vespa. (I'm pretty sure all of the guys around here will be sporting a new Vespa on Monday.)

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/22/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/22/2018

Tim thinks that I'm mad at him and he also thinks that I have telekinesis (even though I'm pretty sure Ashley fixed his issue).

Good gosh, I know some here will be thrilled but seriously the first "Deadpool" wasn't enough so they made a second one.

Toni claims that he was young and stupid when he got his tattoos.

Toni pointed out Marty's ride to me. Man he's going to get all of the women with that rad scooter.

On our cruise one night while we were waiting for the sun to set I thought I saw Phoebe run by me on the jogging course. Turns out this girl was even weirder than Phoebe, she had in earbuds but she seemed to be dancing to the ship music. This girl was absolutely in her own world for a long time, I still think she was on something because multiple groups of people started watching her and she never acted like she noticed. (Video attached with link)
https://www.amazon.com/clouddrive/share/ckWQAqs2FaiQ1h0lxlzka6HbyB3vJqPTXFAsK5kVjO0

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/21/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/21/2018

Roger and Dot were supposed to go to DC today but their flight got cancelled because of the fourth Nor'easter of the month.

Toni mentioned he has his pick of the litter on one of his job sites, they have a bunch of inmates working there.

Onto our last port of call, Grenada. We knew the shore excursion that we picked might be jammed packed full of people and it was since it was through the ship. They took us to a spice farm and showed us the different varieties of plants that they grow on the island and what each of them was used for. There was lots of vegetation and the hummingbirds definitely loved the property. After this they took us to a rum distillery and we tried chocolate rum that was absolutely divine and I'm really disappointed because we didn't buy any. Ryan thought we had enough liquor to fill our bags already, whatever. Then we went to a beautiful beach, drank rum punch and sat in the warm sand.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/20/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/20/2018

Tim was looking better, he was walking around like he gave birth to twins and not triplets today.

It's a good thing Kellen didn't steal Ashley's lunch today because she thought it was the best birthday leftovers ever.

Our fourth port is one of my favorite islands, Barbados. We went to Harrison's Caves, walked through a tropical forest where it was feeding time for the monkey's and we went swimming to see the turtles in the ocean. We did see one but it were hard to see because of the murky water, I guess I'll just need to go back.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/19/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/19/2018

Happy Birthday Ashley 1.0!

Tim rode his dirt bike over the weekend for the first time since he broke his arm and apparently it is now on craigslist, he finally realizes that it's a young man sport. He's walking around today like he just delivered triplets.

Our third port of call was the French island of Martinique, where very few people on the island speak English. We were lucky to find a small group island tour in English. On this tour they drove us through the rain forest (where it actually rained), through the town of Saint-Pierre that was ruined in 1902 and 30,000 died because of a volcanic eruption by Mt Pelee, then to forget about the horrible catastrophe of 1902 we went to a rum distillery and sampled rum and then it was off to a beautiful beach next to a French bakery. I swear pastries made right is heaven on earth for those few bites.

*not to be construed as Gossip 

03/16/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/16/2018

Roger thinks that I'm more agreeable after I take a vacation.

Our new sales person is moving into a tiny house and I was trying to ask a group of people this morning a serious question about how do you have sex in a tiny house with a child living there? Toni thought I asked how do you have sex with a child in a tiny house and he came back with "you don't". It's good to know that he has some scruples.

It sounds like Bill and Roxanne's neighbor got a little more than they bargained for last night while they were out walking their dog. According to Bill, Roxanne told Bill to take the baby because she would rather go outside in the cold than deal with the baby anymore. Roxanne went out to the car and was putting the car seat in the back seat while wearing her furry Chewbacca robe. Knowing Roxanne, Chewbacca was probably swearing up a storm inside while shaking the whole car to relieve some major stress. Needless to say one of her neighbors walked by to witness the incident.

Onto the beautiful island of St. Maarten, we took a catamaran sailing around part of the island and this is definitely the island all of the men would have wanted to see. When our boat pulled up to one of the beaches there were a few girls standing in the water but one was very topless and very proud of her boob job.

03/15/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/15/2018

Jason was super excited to hear that Steve did the scheduling. He must have some good blackmail photos of Steve.

Our first cruise stop was supposed to be St Croix but because of the waves from the Nor'easter they sent us to another US Virgin Island, St Thomas. When we arrived we found out that there were only four beaches open on the island and there were three cruise ships in port so needless to say we shared the beach with a lot of people that day. Originally I thought we found a nice secluded area on the beach until some Russian ladies decided to use our end of the beach for their weird photo shoot which included changing out bikinis on the beach and lots of butt shots. For some reason Bill wanted the name of this beach after I told him the story about the photo shoot so in case you also want to go it's Secret Harbour.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/14/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/14/2018

I was surprised to hear that Ashley 1.0 didn't know who Marty was....I figured she would have had a date set up with him already.

Michael really didn't want to see me today, he's off to New York to avoid me.

Tim gives away a job and decides that it's going to be Bill's job in the system.

We had one day before and one day after our cruise in the warm sunny city of San Juan, Puerto Rico. The Nor'easter definitely stirred up the waves in the Caribbean. The night we left on the cruise ship we were all walking around the ship like we were inebriated (the real drunks weren't too hard to pick out of the crowd though, they either wanted to talk about their German nose and how tall my husband is or they were pointing out all of shooting stars in the sky that didn't exist...good times). After we returned to San Juan we noticed that the storm waves had wreaked havoc on the boardwalk area around the city wall but it didn't bother me because I was just so happy that  I found the parrots again.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/02/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/02/2018

Tim's not allowed in Toni's office ever again.

Man if you didn't work for Toni this week you missed out on double time and prevailing wage rates. If the installers aren't calling you back, you'll know that Toni got to them first.

Bill thought he was doing a NFL deal and paying for players. He asked Jared how much he wanted for Marty.

For those of you who still think that I'm leaving out of Florida, here's a map of our next weeks locations. I know the map doesn't mean much but our ship leaves out of San Juan, Puerto Rico (as Bill put it I will be doing humanitarian work there (if buying two for one mojitos at the local bar is humanitarian work, then count me in)) we then sail to St Croix (US Virgin Islands), St Maarten, Martinique, Barbados and Grenada. It will be interesting to see what the hurricanes in September did to some of these islands.

I will be back on the 14th. See you all then and hopefully Ryan and I won't be on the news like Tim's family was, man he's mean :)

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/01/2018

The Daily Chatter*

03/01/2018

Just a warning, if Kellen gets me sick before vacation I will kick him.

Toni had an installer demo the wrong room of carpet today.

This east coast storm better not delay or change any of my vacation plans....that's all I have to say.

I think Toni's hurt that Bill kept a secret from him and on top of it he told Steve and Tim who are some of the worst blabber mouths that I know.

Poor Toni, his own dad wouldn't even hang with him tonight but somehow he talked Randy into it.

*not to be construed as Gossip