01/31/2019

The Daily Chatter*

01/31/2019

"My wife was pushing out babies for the last several years and I don't want to fly with them." Bill to a customer on the phone.

I've been telling everyone that I have an eating disorder because of Michael so far I'm getting a lot of sympathy.

According to Bill sarcasm is when a women says that you're right.

"I just need someone to hear me out because my wife won't." Bill    Probably because his wife is too busy going around hugging other women who she thinks are Mary (apparently this happened in Orlando).

Toni brought Larry in today and Larry seems to be a ladies man unlike his owner.

I love how Bill tells everyone that I made him watch "The Office". I guess duct taping him to his desk chair and playing all of  the episodes in front of him and not letting him get up until he was finished is kind of psycho but at least he likes the show now.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/30/2019

The Daily Chatter*

01/30/2019

I just found out that Michael and I are going to be on vacation at the same time again. I'm beginning to think that Michael and I are really inseparable.

Michael claims that Tim is his crack dealer, just in case anyone else is interested.

I was telling somebody today that if Typhinee doesn't know something that she'll look you up and down until she knows all of your secrets. This happened to me recently and I felt completely violated.

One of our subs apparently came into the shop and asked our guys about Toni's sexual orientation. Josh and Matt now have the guy believing what the rest of us think and the guy knows that Toni's married. I really wish I could have been there for that conversation, I would have pulled out all of my special Toni pictures.

Tim's wife came in today and reassured all of us that Tim can't retire because he has too many toys and that he keeps buying more. Then Tim might as well just sign the Not to Retire Form and get his mug back.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/29/2019

The Daily Chatter*

01/29/2019

My long lost lover Larry (who I still don't remember) called Toni out today and said "I hear she works with you". So somebody told Larry....Hopefully whomever this person was also told him that I didn't age gracefully.

Marty just got back from his Mexico cruise and he showed me how much sun he got on his chest. Is he going to expect me to show him my chest and my tan lines when I get back from my vacation? I'm pretty sure that my husband is going to object to that.

Roxanne saw this sign for Bill's TV and Entertainment Service while they were in Florida last week. She thought that her husband was a 70's stripper on the side. I argued because I could only picture him as a John Wayne impersonator & stripper since that's his favorite actor. I guess we'll probably find out in the near future since Roxanne is going to keep a better eye on Bill.

The Whatever Board of the Day

(It is an actual picture of Michael, unless Tim lied to me.)

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/28//2019

The Daily Chatter*

01/28/2019

I couldn't believe that Mary made me give her dog back yesterday.

Roger mentioned that there are a million other Roger's in the clown porn industry so he would like to go by Roger Anne from now on, Anne is his wife's middle name.

Tim's such a whiner, he told Mary that I stole his mug and thankfully Mary just told him that I always get what I want (except for her dog) so just sign the not to retire form. She even threatened him that I would take the rest of his stuff.

FYI, straight men shouldn't wear flowered jackets and sparkly pants. It's very confusing when you sit behind them and hear a man talking and wonder where the heck that voice is coming from.

The last time that Typhinee saw Kellen she mentioned that he kept asking her where Will was (instead of Bud). We're assuming it's because Kellen liked starting his conversations with Bud with a "Will you..." (which is actually fairly polite compared to how Steve asks Toni for things).  This is starting to make sense now in my mind that Kellen had a thing for Sarah, Toni and Bud. It's just too bad that Kellen didn't get his chance to dress Bud up like he did Toni (as George Clooney).

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/25/2019

The Daily Chatter*

01/25/2019

I'm starting to question the whole truth behind Typh's statement of the Kellen girl butt issue. She was telling Bud yesterday that Kellen is shorter than she is which is an absolute lie. If you know your KK facts he claims that he's 5'7" but he's probably 5'6".

Heather has some very strange items in her desk.

We're going to have to find a new tile sub one of ours just called Riley a kitty.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/24/2019

The Daily Chatter*

01/24/2019

When Tim was rummaging through Bill's desk yesterday looking for his hot cocoa cup he stopped and said something about "this would make good ransom material". It left me scratching my head wondering what on earth he found that Bill was hiding in his desk (that was better than pictures of Vegas hookers with Bill) that I hadn't found already from my weekly rummagings.

Bill's kind of brutal when he's on vacation, he told Tim that he didn't care what he did to Toni in revenge for his mug. I'm sorry but we need Toni so we're going to have to find another K.K. (besides I need good Daily Chatter material).

Roger accused me today of not liking somebody that I don't think I even know. Understandably I probably wouldn't like the guy so I should just thank Roger for warning me.

Poor Heather, both Typhinee and I asked her if there were crayons in the cookies that she and her son made last night, we really are arrogant and ungrateful people.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/23/2019

The Daily Chatter*

01/23/2019

Tim got another note about his mug and also a not to retire contract, he hasn't signed it yet but he has retaliated by stealing one of Bill's stuffed animals.

Tim is such a lost puppy dog without his hot chocolate mug, it's pitiful. I'm not sure why everyone is grilling me about the mug, technically Bud stole it. 

We gave the new guy, Bryan, Bill's office for the week. I thought it would help in case Tim wanted to try to steal more of Bill's stuff. 

Ryan and I have been watching "The Crown" and last night in one of the episodes the guards shouted at Jackie Kennedy to "make way for the Queen's guards". I told Ryan that he could announce himself like that when we are in public. I have a feeling that he'll out diva me though, he has the wave down too perfectly so he'll definitely want to portray the Queen. 

The Whatever Board of the Day 

*not to be construed as Gossip