06/28/2013

The Daily Chatter*

06/28/2013

Dot thought that Roger was only coming into work today to get his name in the Chatter. I told Roger that I just figured he got a nose job yesterday and didn't want any of us to know about it but after seeing him today that doesn't appear to be the case.

Roger invited me to his SAP (Straight and Proud) Parade next weekend following this weekends Gay Pride Parade. Roger told me that he doesn't know if he should invite Toni because he doesn't want Toni to fake straight that weekend.

I tried the cat app last night and it definitely entertained them. One of my cats pawed at the screen and the other one stood on the screen looking down at the moving objects. 

Vance told Rick that his honeymoon was over so Rick had to ask if the marriage was over too.

Tim said that his wife almost neutered him last night. Luckily for him he claims he can out run her.

I was so happy this morning, Roger actually agreed with me about something. 

Toni was freaking ticked that Roger and Tim went to lunch without him today. I even told Toni that they had to meet a client and he was still livid. I'm sure he was just stressed out from having to be with Bill all morning.

"Toni, what woman's name did I say?" Bill  That's never a good sign.

"Can I borrow you again...so that I don't F*ck this up Again." Tim

Toni called me an angel today.

Roger was a little disturbed that I suggested that he should use sex on Bill to get something from him.

Watch out world, Tim's wife is going out of town tomorrow and he thinks he's going to abandon all of us to go and play while she's away.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/27/2013

The Daily Chatter*

06/27/2013

"It's all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye." Toni about the Gay Pride Parade

I really thought since Rick didn't come in yesterday that he was on strike until we got rid of RFMS but no such luck, he came in today.

Mary left for Arizona today and it's only supposed to get up to 120 degrees this weekend and she's not happy about it.

Bill wants to start weighing Toni in and out everyday. I guess it's a father & son thing.

I made a gay reference towards Ryan last night and he told me that he's not Toni.

Bill wants it to be known that he was the office hero yesterday in his own mind, he brought out the cake from the fridge.

As if the main character of "Mad Men" doesn't already have enough sexual partners, he added another one and we're only on season 1.

Bill bought another trackball thing for his desk, why do they even still make those?

Bill pulled a Tim today.

Bill doesn't know if he's allowed back into the city of Forks because of the last time with Matt & Steve. He's going this weekend, so we'll see if they kick him out.

Kim, Tim same thing apparently to someone at Shaw. 

I was amazed to hear that Matt's Ipad survived the whole skateboard incident because he landed on his backpack which was carrying his ipad.

"I bought a new blu ray player....because the other one was too complicated for Roxanne." Bill.  Roxanne I'm not knocking you, I understand that Bill had a mess going on in the TV department and nobody should have to understand his crazy ideas.

Paula Deen is having a bad week; now Walmart, Target and Home Depot are dropping her products on top of her Food Network firing and Smithfield Foods who doesn't want to use her anymore.

"It's takes me four just to get started. Yeah I'm a lush." Rick

Toni wanted me to call and tell Mary that we had a small fire but we have it under control. That boy concerns me.

Steve wants to punch Matt in the ribs according to Toni.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/26/2013

The Daily Chatter*

06/26/2013

I received a Wedding Congratulations card from Terry yesterday, it was so nice to hear from her.

Nikki nixed Toni's idea of naming their child Carl. How soon is Carl coming into the world Toni?

Tim was pretty sure that the bubonic plague was living in the bottom of his coffee cup this morning. Then he had the nerve to ask for mini marshmallows.

 I'm starting to think that everyone on "Mad Men" is a skank and a whore and especially the men.

Toni thought he was going to die at work today but then he had watermelon and the whole world turned brighter.

I read about Cat Apps for my ipad. Of course I have to try it out but if they start meowing every time they see my ipad that's going to be a problem.

"I know people steal my folders." Toni

Now that Toni knows that there's a possibility that Tim's wife Donna may have delivered him, he's saying she's like a second mother to him.

Toni sure does some pretty gay things without even trying. Like today he decided not to wear socks. 

Toni wants to know if there's any room in our cabin in December on our next cruise, he wants to go with. I suppose he can sleep in the bar or outside by the pool so that he doesn't disturb us newly weds.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/25/2013

The Daily Chatter*

06/25/2013

Tim thinks Bill is getting anal over our new f*cking system.

I finally posted my million and two pictures from our California trip. 
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10201363950719141.1073741828.1184997245&type=1&l=57b67e41b3

Toni wants our company mascot to be a goldfish but then I reminded him that Riley is our mascot. He agreed that Riley would be hurt and not like him switching out our mascot.

"......After I eat I will be nice again." Nikki

Bill came back to the office and the guys were bonding in the dark in the man cave. He mentioned that he saw a movie like that once but had to close his eyes during most of it.

Mary's tired of everyone stealing her pencils and there's going to be hell to pay if she finds you.

Rick got a love letter delivered to work today.

If Bill asks for tape, don't give it to him. Roxanne told us how he sabotaged his own kitchen when her mother came over. Same sort of thing he did when Mary's parent's were visiting our new shop for the first time.

Bill was confused as to why Toni was stuck today. That's what happens when the guys "bond" with each other.

Roger told me I might be getting more access to the man cave soon. He won't tell me when though. 

Bill gets major brownie points for going to Tiffany's yesterday and buying Roxanne some earrings.

Rick, Tim and I are going to start some sort of RFMS Hate Group and all of you are welcome to join.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/24/2013

The Daily Chatter*

06/24/2013

Congratulations to Vance, he got married yesterday, I should be mad he's trying to steal my thunder:)

Matt wrecked himself on his skateboard over the weekend. His arm is a mess along with some ribs and a torn ligament. Bill told all of us he also got injured with a cut and had to use Neosporin.

Matt was pretty lucky today, his truck rolled back and somehow missed Bill and Vance's cars.

Matt couldn't wait to get a lecture from Mary this morning. All Mary needs to do is show Matt some of her son's X-Ray pictures.

Bill now has a picture of Roxanne in his office that looks like an old movie star. Sorry Roxanne I didn't recognize you in the picture although Toni knew it was you for some reason.

Chris couldn't make it in today because his wife is going to have their baby. Roger and Bill think it's a horrible excuse and they insisted that she should just have her baby in a rice field so that he could keep his appointment with them. Watch out Jenny the guys will expect the same of you too.

Bill got his hair and makeup done on Saturday by Roxanne's niece and I'm really hurt that Roxanne didn't send me a picture of that.

Bieber is starting to look like a flooring installer with all of those tattoos (or maybe just like Jason) and I think he may have crapped his pants, why else would they be hanging so low in the crouch?

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/21/2013

The Daily Chatter*

06/21/2013

Thank-you Tim and Donna for hosting a very nice evening for us last night. 

 

I think Ryan was a little hurt that he couldn't finish telling everyone about our last two days of vacation in California because everyone wanted to hear Tim's BJ offer instead. 

Roger because of you the guys decided that it would be best if the West Wing had a button to throw down a sound proof door for the man cave every time customers walk into our office. They were recalling a certain dildo b*tch experience that they had with Mary's customer present. 

Mary's awfully pushy, she was trying to claim Rick last night right in front of his wife. 

Poor Rick all he wants to do is just give someone a ride. 

We were talking about Tim and his DeJavu bathroom replacements that he use to do and this morning some other sex shop called him for work.

"Don't pull a Toni" is our new saying around here for don't dump out a whole bag of grout onto the warehouse floor. 

Dierdorff freaked the crap out of me today, he called in and was talking very loud and asked for the hot blonde sales person. I thought we had a perve on our hands.

Now even Mary is calling me an old married woman. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/20/2013

The Daily Chatter*

06/20/2013

Vance is finally stressing out about his big day.

"Tim just parked in the wrong spot." Bill

"I fell out of love with my parking spot yesterday." Tim

I think Mary brought in Riley today just so that I would be happier. 

"Not everything is about you." Bill to Roger

"Since I met Roxanne you got bumped one on my favorites list." Bill to Roger    Bill was definitely  paying Roger back with that comment. 

Tim thinks he's taking the 5th of July off. 

Poor Toni thought our printer was a new fangled space machine contraption.

I heard so many great things today but I just can't talk about them, I hate when that happens. I will give one hint about one thing, Roger wants a certain somebody to marry his daughter just because he thinks he would be an awesome son in-law.

*not to be construed as Gossip