03/11/2014

The Daily Chatter*

03/11/2014

Toni gave Matt a lighter that said "I wish I knew how to quit you." Then Matt realized it was a quote from his favorite movie "Brokeback Mountain."

The guys are now reading Bill's work orders in order to find out the gossip around this place. I think Bill's work orders are now competing with "The Chatter." I read things about Toni having a third nipple, how Steve's jaw hurt but Matt's face had a big dumb grin on it, how Matt dyes his pubs and  Garret having a ferret STD.

I guess today is the day that Efren's wife will probably have their baby. 

Roger was trying to share with us today what he was thinking but I put a stop to that.

Cody and Toni told me that STD's are now called STI's because someone didn't like the word Disease and they wanted to call it Infection instead.

Apparently if a rep says they will bring in lunch I need to send them our lunch order instead of them bringing snacks after they clearly said lunch. I am boycotting our PK meeting company today.

Toni does not recommend eating Zantac.

Roger can't handle any more women being in the back room. He says Jessica, Typhinee and Toni are way too much for him already.

Roger and Toni were talking about how much they love to dress up like the Girl Scouts. I was so glad that they had photos to share with me.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/10/2014

The Daily Chatter*

03/10/2014

Ryan and I were watching "Hawaii 5-0" on Friday night and thought we saw a way overdone and plastic Melanie Griffith. Every time she turned her head in the episode I wanted to throw up because her neck looked disgusting, it's a good thing they didn't show her legs because time has not been nice to her.

I was in Roger's territory (his neighborhood) yesterday and I'm pretty sure he didn't even know it.

Henry was doing some sort of balancing act on his shell when I first came in today and yes he's still alive.

 Bill really seems to love Roxanne, he offered to say something nice about her at her funeral if she died from having to smell Ed. I wasn't quite sure if he was going to say something nice about her if she died any other way though.

I'm not sure what kind of  show at the exhibition center Tim thought I went to yesterday but apparently Beating instead of Beading came into his mind...

My iPad alarm keeps going off, one time only, in the middle of the night even though there isn't an alarm set. 

I'm very disappointed with Jessica today, she had no good gossip. 

"I thought I was reading "The Onion" for a moment when I saw this headline on MSN "Kim Jong Un Wins 100% of Votes in North Korea Election." The picture below is of North Koreans dancing in the streets, I guess they knew that they had to or they would be killed.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/07/2014

The Daily Chatter*

03/07/2014

Roger sees invisible people and Bill was one of them today.

Roger says that Ryan calls him all of the time to "not so much to complain but to discuss certain aspects of your (my) personality." Apparently I need to make Ryan listen to me a little better so that he doesn't make those sort of calls anymore. 

Tim thought RFMS dinged at him "You're Golden". Turns out it was just Typhinee's phone.

"You're so lame." Mary to Toni

"Why Mary's?" Bill being competitive again

Remember to move your clocks forward this weekend.

I mentioned to Ryan last night that Toni was going to take care of some kids over the weekend and Ryan automatically assumed that Toni was babysitting Roger.

"You just screwed me big time." Steve

Mary broke Tim's glasses, what a b*tch. 

I can't wait for Jessica's crazy party story on Monday.

"She'll make me stand in the corner again." Bill

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/06/2014

The Daily Chatter*

03/06/2014

Toni described "Grey's Anatomy" as a bunch of doctors having sex.

Tim finally noticed that Henry doesn't look good.

Toni thinks that when Henry dies we should shoot him out of a cannon. Does anyone have a spare cannon that Toni can use?

Bill asked me if I needed advice this morning. Doesn't he know I rule the world and I don't need anyone's advice.

"I'm a team player." Roger  "I'm just not sure what team." Bill

"It doesn't hurt that he's kind of cute too." Typhinee    Guys don't get your hopes up, it wasn't about any of you.

"Give them a box full of sand and let them sh*t on their own."Typical Roger remark

"These damn computers are complicated." Mr. U'nnells

It's nice that Typhinee has an easy out from work, all she has to say is that her daughter threw up at school and we immediately say we're disgusted and make her leave. 

"Toni, I don't care about you." Mary

Toni just confessed that he grew up in a African American family and that's why he was singing Gospel Hymn today. 

"I'm turning into Tim. I don't like it, I don't know how to use it, it's a pain in the a$$." Mr. U'nnells

I StumbledUpon these horrible but naughty headlines last night. 

"I know you don't care about my troubles so I'm just b*tching." Mr. U'nnells trying to be a woman

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/05/2014

The Daily Chatter*

03/05/2014

Tim claims he's not an I.T. Dude. I don't think anyone would ever accuse him of being that so I don't know why he thought that we did.

"I probably drove Mary out of here and straight home." Tim

Bill claims he's a realist....Mary wants to know why he still has his car then.  

"You and Randy made some cool kids." Toni

OMG Damon wants to get rid of his van. I never thought I would see this day.

"I might be pissing Tim off again." Bill

Mary threatened to call Toni's mom on him.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/04/2014

The Daily Chatter*

03/04/2014

Today is Fat Tuesday, why exactly are we at work when we should be in New Orleans? I think I'll postpone my trip to New Orleans till next week because their weather is worse than ours today and tomorrow. It looks like Chewbacca is celebrating though.

Toni seemed very worried yesterday as to what Nikki would do to him if she found out he was....

Typhinee and Jessica were told by Toni that they have naughtier mouths than the men around here.

I think someone told Liza that her hair had to match her outfit, that was a mean joke.

Toni told me that he loves the Mango skits by Kris Kattan on "SNL". Explains so much!

Toni and I were discussing that Bill has a very weird spectrum of knowledge.

"I'm getting desperate, I'm going to ask you twice." Roger to Mary

"I don't have time to mess around with him." Mary about one of the John's in her life

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/03/2014

The Daily Chatter*

03/03/2014

Thank-you Dot and Roger for the Spamelot tickets, it was a funny but for a moment I wondered if I was attending "Gay" A Gay Musical ("I.T. Crowd" reference). 

Tim thinks Henry needs to take some Yoga classes because there seems to be something wrong with the back part of his tail.

"What do I need Nikki for?" Toni

Bill had a dream about sleeping with a Chinese prostitute last night, so man-typical.

Roger and his freaking parking lot drug deals at 10am this morning.

"Everything's about the wedding." Mary

Bill gave Toni some awesome ugly old Neon racing shirts.

How many Apex employees does it take to tell Toni how to change a tire?

"You can sexually harass me." Steve to Mary

Haircut must mean something different these days because Bill told us he was off to go get a "hair cut" and never came back. I looked it up on Urban Dictionary apparently it is a drinking act involving: two people, alcohol and an energy drink.

*not to be construed as Gossip