03/31/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/31/2017

Bill wants to hire a teenage kid (a little Asian boy to be exact) to sit on his lap and I'm going to call him Annyong.

Roger thinks he's going to score points by bringing his grandson to the BBQ. What he doesn't realize is that he's way more likable whenever Dot is around so he'll get quadruple the points if he brings his grandson.

Kellen gave me my Amazon box that was delivered to the office yesterday and Amazon started advertising Revlon on the outside of the box. Kellen comes in and asks me if I ordered nail polish (because the box sounded like it had nail polish in it) and I looked at the box I told him it was for my husband. I'm sure Kellen's going to check out Ryan's nails the next time he sees him. 

Bill thinks that I should wear a bell because I always hear all of the inappropriate things.

Apparently you don't want to lose a sports bet in Houston or else you could get duct taped to a sign post.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/30/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/30/2017

Toni, I'm going to need you to wear only purple and blue from now on. Those are somebodies favorite colors.

Roger told me today that if Ryan and I ever divorced that he would blame me for all of it.

There was a huge crisis today, Mary ran low on toner.

I'm betting that all of you know the secret that Kellen told me to keep yesterday. First thing I heard was that Steve knew about the hidden camera in the warehouse yesterday so I decided that it wasn't a secret any longer.

Bill and Roxanne are going to Utah next week and I had a dream that they were swindled and bought a cruise leaving from there.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/29/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/29/2017

Kellen scored a number from two chicks while on the freeway last night. I'm pretty sure he thinks he's turning into Matt.

Bill talked Steve with Thompson into making a porn site for old guys after he retires in a few years. Bill told him he had to have something to do with his time.

"I can't spend time proving you wrong." Toni to Bill

Typhinee thinks somebody that we work with looks like a Q-Tip.

I learned something new today, cup stacking is a real thing. Steve claims people do it in the talent shows. 

I'm thinking of starting another blog because I usually have some odd stuff to talk about on the way home with Ryan but I can't quite decide on the name yet: Girlless in Seattle,  Getting Kronic with K....., Clueless in Seattle, Quit Sending Me Fat Chicks, David Spade Impersonator Without all of the Money, Jokes & Women or I Think I'm Just Going to Stay in Love with Toni. Yes Michael these are all about you.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/28/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/28/2017

Toni's down in the dumps today because they didn't get the most recent house that they bid on.

Somebody (Kellen) thought they were pretty clever and probably the only one to have ever have sang the song "Roxanne" to Roxanne. 

When Kellen had plans to go drinking with the forty something year old on Friday night he had mentioned that the woman worked for the Ferry service. Gary's old girlfriend also worked there and I can't remember her name and it's bothering me immensely. 

Tim left his car parked out back with the key in it and Kellen moved it around to the side and just about gave him a heart attack.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/27/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/27/2017

Kellen's a liar, he didn't go out with the forty something year old on Friday.

If you walk around with a backpack full of snacks, Bill thinks that he can call you kiddo.

Roger went to a funeral this last weekend where the family thinks that the wife killed the husband instead of him dying at the hotel at Disneyland. Roger thought that it made for a very interesting funeral.

Tim apparently can't make our BBQ this year because his daughter is getting married the next day and his wife told him that he has obligations.

Toni put another bid in on a house. If he doesn't get this one he's going to be the guy who has bid on every house in Seattle.

We finally got to see our newest grandson Liam on Friday night and he's adorable.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/24/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/24/2017

Kellen has a date tonight with a forty something year old woman.

Toni and Steve were quoting all of the sexual innuendos from "Grumpy Old Men" this morning.


Roger and I couldn't seem to come up with anything nice about someone today so we had to settle for "she's a two time loser" but if she had been a three time loser she would have been Ross.

Typhinee was telling someone today that they had to be an adult and be courteous to someone while thinking "she's a b*tch" in their mind. What happened to the good old days of behaving like you have tourettes and invoking a fist fight?

Steve will be watching the new Disney "Moana" movie tonight in case anyone would like to join him. Toni told me that he just watched the movie by himself and I told him that the gay guys that sat in front of us on our flight home watched "Moana".

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/23/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/23/2017

Toni's not the only one who has issues with the hamster car. Tim mentioned this morning that Steve needs to get a real truck because that thing is embarrassing. I'm pretty sure Steve is digging the Kia because he thinks that he'll attract dudes and then Toni will want one too.

Roxanne thinks she found where Sarah gets her crack from but Sarah told Toni that she buys it from me. What can I say, I just like to please everyone with their drug needs.

Tim came up with an interesting scenario today in which he wanted me to give him $700 in petty cash. Nice try Tim!

I was told today that anything goes in a room with only Roger, Steve and Typhinee.

Mary promised to fire anyone who is politically correct, if we ever hired them.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/22/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/22/2017

Bill told me a story that Michael told him that a subcontractor told Michael, see if you can keep that all straight but it's not gossip. One of our subs was in Mexico on vacation and apparently their police extorted 3,000 pesos from him.

Apparently Kellen needs pop everyday, (long story short) he was willing to pay $5.00 for one small bottle of Typhinee's pop that was in the fridge and she didn't do it. Now Kellen has like ten cases of pop in the warehouse and Typhinee has been banned from even looking at them.

Somehow today seemed like Monday all over again.

I bet Sarah wishes she had a crack pipe (like a very rude person told her she did) to forget her day.

Bill threatened not to come in on Friday, he even said "for reals" which is pretty serious stuff. If he takes Friday off then Katherine needs to fill in for him, those are the rules.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/21/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/21/2017

I was informed not to ask questions when it's a Tim thing.

Michael, the only reason I went to the Rick Steves' seminar was to score a few pounds of weed to sell to all of my co-workers. I would offer you some but it went fast.

I just realized today that Bill Paxton died while I was on vacation, I'm pretty sure Roger has something to do with that.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/20/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/20/2017

Tim thinks he's too old to have gone quadding because he's feeling muscles that he never realized he  had.

"I think you're making some sense here, how the he$$ did that happen." Bill to Tim

Roger said he had a good trip, he didn't die and the food was good but all of the staff did look at him very strange in one of the museums at closing time....

Bill said that Jared mentioned that he didn't have high hopes for staying married. I think somebody likes having his brother back to help with things.

Toni was the first one who took Steve's hamster car for a joyride even though he apparently can't stand those cars.

I told Kellen on Friday that I was going to a Rick Steves' seminar over the weekend and he didn't know who that was. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/17/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/17/2017

"She's too cute, I just can't stand it." Mary about me of course

Apparently the girl from Pennsylvania didn't want to move so Kellen has moved on.

Dot said they are in Disneyland, I'm pretty sure they were in front of the haunted mansion which is my favorite ride.

Michael told me that I was quite a catch this morning.

Turns out Ryan isn't divorcing me, it's my other spouse. The lawyer in the email really needed to clarify that yesterday.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/16/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/16/2017

I need to go home the sun is finally shining here.

Wow, I received an email today to click on a link because my spouse wants to divorce me and this is how I find out. I wonder if he's going to pick me up from work tonight....

Toni wants to know why meth is wrong....He wrote it on a piece of paper for my to analyze. I'm pretty sure this is a question for Roger to answer, he's way more experienced than I am.

Remember to wear green tomorrow or else you know how grabby Michael gets.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/15/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/15/2017

I thought Roger was ignoring me again but he's going to DC today to babysit his wife who is there for work. Roger told me that Dot tends to wander off at night with handsome men.

Tim's upset because he had nobody to pawn a job off onto.

"I always look like that just ask my wife." Bill about looking like he needs a nap.

Toni's going to love our new Thompson rep because he was an interior designer.

As for the last day that I remember having sunshine and warm weather we were back in Puerto Rico. We went to El Yunque rainforest and actually had nice weather and no rain. The bird that Toni has tattooed on his arm is from this region. After viewing and hiking to the waterfalls, we stopped at a beach a few miles down the highway that was clearly a favorite among the locals on the weekend. This beach was lined with about fifty small seaside restaurants and a million jet skiers who didn't quite understand the concept of avoiding the reefs in the water.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/14/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/14/2017

Kellen claims that Toni cut off 25 cars this morning and that he was one of them.

The tenant from our old space was telling me today that some girl used the bench in front of their space to smoke pot at.

Tim tried making me feel important today, he pretended that he didn't know what was wrong with his computer. 

One of Toni and Nikki's offers may have been accepted on a house....

Aruba is truly as beautiful as people say it is (but don't ask Tim he doesn't remember the island). The beaches that we saw were gorgeous, the water is a beautiful turquoise blue color, the resort areas were very inviting but I never would have expected so many cacti on the island. Our big highlights were that we got to go on a tour to an Aloe Factory and go to the California lighthouse.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/13/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/13/2017

Toni and I were right about something and Bill was not, Sikh's are not Muslims.

The island of Curacao is another beautiful Dutch island that we went to. We ended up just walking around town and looking at some of their historical sights. We were graced with seeing a couple of parrots in the wild on a rooftop. I would never recommend going to their floating fish market since they don't understand the concept of ice but the stank didn't seem to deter the locals. They also need Uber because their minimum cab fare was $30 each way.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/10/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/10/2017

Steve obviously has more booze in his desk than I do because he hit the dumpster with his truck yesterday. As soon as Bill heard about that he wanted to know if the dumpster was ok.

Michael finally stopped ignoring me today. He was obviously more upset with me than Tim was.

The world is coming to an end...There is no more Winchester carpet or jetboard.

I swear every stop that we had on vacation we were amazed at the color of the water, that never seems to gets old to us. The next island was Bonaire which is a Dutch island, they think they gained their independence (from Holland) in 2010 but it all sounds fishy to me. It's the only island in the Caribbean where the Flamingo's breed and they have huge piles of cocaine everywhere. We visited some slave huts where they knew the slaves slept but they didn't know how many slept in each hut. It's a small island and it's best known for it's incredible dive spots.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/09/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/09/2017

Tim is protesting because Bill's color printer isn't available as an option to print to from his computer.

For our first stop we were on the Dutch & French Island of Saint Maarten. Since we had been to this island before we decided to do a snorkeling tour so that we could burn ourselves royally on the first port stop on vacation. The snorkeling tour was great we saw several turtles at our first spot and a whole bunch of iguanas on our beach stop. It's a beautiful island with many large expensive yachts. Ryan of course was upset that we missed the French bakery that we went to the time before but I think he got over it.....

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/08/2017

The Daily Chatter*

03/08/2017

Steve thinks that Roger's jokes are lame.

Toni is morally opposed to Steve getting a Kia hamster car.

Toni apparently told someone that I was on an Italian Cruise with my Greek lover.

Tim had to come back early from Arizona because he has a new grand daughter, Zoey.

The first part of our cruise I kept seeing Buster Bluth in everyone. First a socially awkward guy was traveling with his mother and then they ended up on one of our shore excursions. I kept expecting him to quote one of Buster's lines but I don't ever think I heard him speak. Then the ice skater in one of the shows with a receding hair line gave me the giggles when I told Ryan that he looked just like Buster.

*not to be construed as Gossip