05/31/2016

The Daily Chatter*

05/31/2016

Roger is very upset that his grandson hasn't been born yet. He wanted a long weekend to celebrate.

I think Damon's already bored with retirement, he was down here bright and early to turn in his time card this morning.

Since Typhinee's not here today Roger called and asks me if he's told me how fond of me he is. Which is my cue to ask "what do you want?" and he proceeds to tell me that he's not really fond of me but then starts on his wish list.

Roger actually dug up some gossip this weekend. One of the people who Roger use to call part of the holy trinity at Newcastle got a new job.

Toni's weekend sucked, some girl told him that he looked like he was 37...

Roxanne is now sitting on her butt at home waiting for baby Katherine to arrive. She really should be at home baking me a cake but whatever. 

According to Bill, Toni's not masculine enough to pull off a Tom Selleck mustache.

Since I know all of you are dying to know about my weekend at Mt Hood, here's a few pictures from our hikes.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/27/2016

The Daily Chatter*

05/27/2016

Howard thinks that our hand truck is the Hannibal Lecter kind.

I think Tim tricked Michael into going to a meeting tonight. Seriously Friday night before a holiday weekend? Tim's way meaner than I thought.

I made a mistake and didn't look at the Caller ID before I picked up Crystals call today. My day would have been perfect without that call.

I decided to go on a scavenger hunt today through my co-workers desks. I didn't actually have a list of things that I needed to find but it was purely for my entertainment pleasure. I first started with Toni's desk and I found a giant shoe box under his desk that said "Personal". He should have had a lock and key on that thing, I think every edition of Playgirl was in that box along with some weird toys and a bunch of lockets of hair that I'll have to ask him about. I boxed up the toys and put them on Mary's desk for her to take home to Riley. I did score, I found a bottle of Gin tucked away inside of his hollow wood wall. After I drank the bottle I woke up to Roger drawing on my face. I'm inclined to get a restraining order so that sort of thing won't happen again, I should be able to sleep in peace and quiet at work.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/26/2016

The Daily Chatter*

05/26/2016

Bill's a little upset over the fact that I spent money on Kleenex. He said his nephew had a great idea of eating his boogers and it didn't cost him anything.

Tim missed out on his favorite today, Snickers Blizzard ice cream cake.

Since nobody is going to be here tomorrow, I'm supposed to give Damon a hug from everyone.

Speaking of Damon, he got a little teary eyed today. I have bets on him wanting his job back after 2 weeks. 

It sounds like their was panic in the streets yesterday when there was a power outage in downtown Seattle. People were evacuated from all of the high rise buildings and nobody knew what to do without a traffic light.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/25/2016

The Daily Chatter*

05/25/2016

"You know how I love a full rack." our Tuftex rep

Toni and I figured out that Washington state is larger than North Korea. We also discovered that North Korea can fit into Alaska 14.25 times. Since this sounds like a Sesame Street lesson I better announce the letters of the day....

Apparently we need to have Damon's retirement party tomorrow since everyone is going to ditch me on Friday for the holiday weekend and Tim that no good $%$# is leaving us tomorrow for the Indy 500.

Dempsey is apparently back with his wife. I wonder if he ever admitted to her what really went on between him and Dot.

“What?! What do you mean pictures with cats? Taking pictures is prohibited. The cats don’t matter here. Taking pictures is prohibited if not for a necessity. Not with cats, not with dogs, not with wolves, not with anything.” Saudi Cleric     Apparently too many Saudi's want to be like Westerners and those lucky people can't play chess or have anything Pokemon either.  Mary would die if she couldn't take pictures of Riley so hopefully she doesn't have plans to move to Saudi Arabia.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/24/2016

The Daily Chatter*

05/24/2016

I told Michael that Toni was jealous that he (Michael) got Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and Toni normally gets fairy decorations.

I heard Bill mumble his "fluffy bunny" word today instead of swearing. Roxanne should be so proud of him. 

Toni got his girly shorts today in the mail and Michael didn't want any part of it.

 *not to be construed as Gossip

05/23/2016

The Daily Chatter*

05/23/2016

Happy Birthday Michael!

I think Tim may have caught Roger's great plague. 

"Dangit, my wife was right again." Bill

Now some contractor is calling Toni "big cowboy" no that isn't queer. 

Toni's mom obviously has the wrong impression of me, she thinks that I keep him out of trouble.

Speaking of Toni and trouble, he's in huge trouble, Mary got to hold a darling baby yesterday at Nikki's bridal shower.

I got the biggest laugh yesterday out of Toni's mom trying to tell her sister about Toni's dick pics episode where they were going to Mary's phone.

I gave Nikki this picture of Toni, if she doesn't come to terms with this before the wedding, then I don't know what to do.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/20/2016

The Daily Chatter*

05/20/2016

Tim gave everyone a scare last night all because he couldn't remember his wife's phone number.

Toni's words of wisdom for the day "Everyone needs a job, I guess."

"Turns out I actually know Beverly Goldberg." Bill about Mary  He found out that she still tries to pick up her kids.

Somehow Bill missed "The Daily Chatter" with the child size Tesla in it because it was all new to him today.

Leave it to Bill, the guy who's about to have a precious baby girl in a few weeks, to tell me about a reality porn competition with one million dollars at stake and a chance to become a porn star which is every woman's dream. He better not tell Matt about this or he'll quit his job to become a contestant. Actually Marty is more likely to enter just for the free sex.

I think Roger is feeling fairly stable today, he told me that he doesn't want to kill himself at the moment. 

*not to be construed as Gossip