03/04/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/04/2016

I had to play dumb to my husband when I received a booty call at 6:30 this morning from a drunk cowboy with a Michigan area code.

It's bad enough that Mary has a Lexus that she likes to flaunt but I finally noticed that she has a huge a$$ Star sticker on her windshield that says Lexus VIP, way to be subtle Mary.

Bill blames me for ruining the numbers and letters on keyboards.

I was watching TCM last night and an old short documentary came on before a movie and they were talking about a place in Florida called Monkey Jungle where they claim they cage the humans and the monkeys run wild. I thought for sure this place would be non-existant now but it is still in operation. I'm thinking of buying Roger a lifetime pass just so that he'll either get over his fear or crap his pants.

 

We are off to the Big Island of Hawaii because I don't want to catch whatever disease Steve has. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/03/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/03/2016

This is getting exciting, Nathaniel and I both leave for our separate missions tomorrow. When I say mission I mean sipping Mai Tai's on the beach. 

"I'm going to be a grumpy old man." Bill

Toni's been drinking or snorting coke....he told Roger to have the best f*cking night that he's ever had.

Roger must be worn out with an extra day in the year (Leap Day) because he decided that he's not coming in tomorrow. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/02/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/02/2016

"How smart can she be, she married me?" Bill to Steve Lemon

"If I die doing this, lie about me, tell them I was saving a bus full of nuns." Mr. U'nnells

Roger called me a decent person today, it's a start.

Roger thinks that my husband is into hip hop because he was wearing headphones while at Starbucks. I'm pretty sure that if my husband was into hip hop that would be grounds for divorce.

Speaking of divorce, Bill blames Roxanne for getting pregnant.

Now that I share a hallway with Bill everyone thinks I'm his keeper.

If only Bill would be more like Sue Heck from "The Middle" and write down when he'll be back on a sign board, my life would be so much easier. I already know first hand that Bill won't use a door sign or move a stupid magnetic dot to show if he's in or not. In fact Stephanie (Mary's daughter) and I wrote a newsletter about it years ago.

Bill found this about Kanye. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/01/2016

The Daily Chatter*

03/01/2016

Roger thinks he has a reputation to maintain and he was very upset that I implied in the Chatter yesterday that he was unsanitary.

Bill's afraid of Ninja's coming through the warehouse door. It sounds like his dad really screwed him up as a child.

Tim left with his two wives today.

Toni thinks that Labor Ready sent Napoleon Dynamite today.

Toni was flipping out in Bill's office today over a bug in the vent. Mary thought that maybe Bill had a killer whale in his office.

Roxanne finally found a way to not look at or hear Bill. I personally think that she looks a little like Joey on Thanksgiving...

George Kennedy just died this week, he was 91. I just watched "Eiger Sanction" with him in it and he was in "Cool Hand Luke".

*not to be construed as Gossip

02/29/2016

The Daily Chatter*

02/29/2016

Happy Leap Day!

After spending time with our installers last week I'm beginning to think that Loopy Larry wasn't so odd after all and I might even have to say the same of Gary Ridgway.


Toni's still delusional from his accident because he thinks he's going on vacation with me next week. I would have invited him but he didn't invite me along on his honeymoon.

I'm pretty sure that Mary planned this layout to put the people that talk to themselves (while they work) on one side of the building and the "others" closer to her. I think Bill and I are going to have contests to see who can talk the loudest to themselves.

Toni's not very impressed with the printer that he has. Bill simply reconnected Toni with his long lost printer that he used to have on his desk that everyone thought he was in charge of.

Now that I don't share an office with Mary I can see that Michael will be in her office all of the time now.

Michael seems to be jealous that Toni got a spiffy looking wood wall. He thinks that Toni's getting special treatment because he's going to be Mary's son in law.

Michael thinks Tim is just like his wife, he takes up 9 of the 10 shelves that they have.

"Nathaniel's gone so we can go to the bars and strip clubs again." Roger to Bill

I apologize in advance, I'm going to be moody tomorrow because we're going to "Ben Hur" the silent movie at the Paramount tonight with some people and I'll be out past my bedtime.

Matt drew Toni a lovely picture of a dick for his office and Tim wants to know what kind of dick Matt has.....

Roger doesn't appreciate walking from his office to Bill's office only to find out that Bill's not there.

Obviously Roger didn't wash his hands today otherwise he would have told me that the Sea Salt Citrus scent reminded him of Italy since it is from the Italian Seaside line.

*not to be construed as Gossip

02/25/2016

The Daily Chatter*

02/25/2016

Poor Toni got rear ended today. Normally he likes that kind of thing but this time it happened to his car.

Speaking of rear ending, Toni you'll love the man on man rape scenes in "Outlander". That being said I won't be watching any more seasons. 

"Your sorries sound so much better than Bill's." Steve to Mary

Nathaniel's pretty sure he's going to be able to saddle up a spider and ride it in Australia as his form of transportation. The poor kid has played too many video games so reality might suck for him.

Mary complimented Roger then immediately turned around and told him what a loser he is and that he doesn't deserve Dot.  She's obviously trying to get him to quit.

*not to be construed as Gossip

02/24/2016

The Daily Chatter*

02/24/2016

I saw this video and loved one of the comments that somebody posted. "Cougars are a real problem back home. They've been seen prowling around bars and night clubs preying on innocent young men."

I'm afraid of what Roger is going to write in Nathaniel's going away booger card. He's already thrown out some ideas and  they're a little too Rogeresque. 

Mary told me that she's excited to get her own office so that she doesn't have to hear me talk to myself all day long but she will miss my sexy gulping noise that I make. 

Who's going to do Nathaniel's exit interview tomorrow? I have some questions I would like to ask...
What was the most satisfying part about your job? How many boogers do you consume in a day? What's my name? How many Asians do you think that you're going to sleep with in Australia (I know Roger wants to ask this)? Can this company do anything to encourage you to stay (Bill and Roxanne aren't going to know what to do with an empty room)?

*not to be construed as Gossip