April 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

April 2021

Bill told me that I should buy some ankle bracelets to be hip again so now I'm on the search for a whole bunch of those. 

Toni's parents better watch out on Friday's because Bill wants to pawn his kids off on them too.

Toni's son learned a new word "shit". 

Ashley won concert tickets by calling into a radio station. Bill and I made fun of her because we didn't know that was still a real thing, we definitely told her that was old school. She got to talk to Mary's celebrity friend though. Bill thinks that it's the most impressive thing that Ashley has done since she's been here though. If I were her I would definitely be offended. 

"I don't want to die in crocs" Toni

"My office is going through a tunnel, I can't hear you right now" Bill to a customer

According to Ashley the Mall of America is in Canada. 

I'm pretty sure Ashley has also been labeled a sexual predator by Toni, she claims that she was going to tell him nice Crocs and it came out cocks. 

Bill was super excited for me to tell Sarah about the "Downton Abbey 2" movie coming out in December. I guess that's going to have to be his after work event when it comes out. 

"I was floor boy for a long time." Steve

Michael likes to go by Madisen now, people have been relabeling his packages with his new name. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

March 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

March 2021

I love that Steve remembers and can relate to the worst night in TGIF history which was the OJ Simpson car chase that screwed up the TGIF lineup. 

Apparently our subcontractor unblessed a jobsite that had coins inserted into the walls during a spiritual ritual that he didn't know about and all he was trying to do was make the walls even before he installed tile. 

The city of Kent finally came and picked up the mattress that was in our driveway because I told them to. Apparently they also have an app for fixing crap around the city. I wonder how well that will work when I start locating every pothole in the city for them.

Bill made sure to ask me how hung over Ashley was after her birthday week before he went to talk to her. 

Ashley identifies as a grocer now, she thinks she's a bag lady. 

I was going to identify as Ashley's grocer boss if anyone asked what I did for a living yesterday at my covid vaccine appointment but nobody cared. 

Ashley can't be trusted to throw away shrimp and left it to her car detailer guy to find where the terrible smell was coming from.

*not to be construed as Gossip

 

03/03/2021-03/04/2021

 The Daily Chatter*

03/03/2021-03/04/2021

Bill was surprised to learn a few weeks ago that officer Dangle works for Jimmy Johns. 

I won't be ordering dog toys based on Steve's recommendations. 

I mentioned Gary's golf mural wall paper the other day and I thought Bill forgot something but then I realized that Gary had it installed in his office after Bill and Mary left.

Michael thinks Ashley is a beautiful brilliant African American woman apparently.

Toni and Steve are feeling a little over looked in the physically attractive category lately. I guess Josh keeps getting all of the attention. 

My sweater apparently reminds Toni of "Scooby Doo" and Bill said it reminded him of "The Partridge Family". Thanks for making me feel old guys. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

February 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

February 2021

Toni and I had a conversation  that if you're going to be romantically involved with Marilyn Manson then you probably knew that you weren't making good life choices just based on his name, his looks and his Satanic involvements so honestly who cares if you were abused by him. 

Bill and Roxanne should be very proud their daughter loving to say the word "dammit". I wonder where she picked that up from?😂

Tim thinks because he's going on vacation soon that he's going to take the rest of the year off too. 

Steve doesn't want anyone ordering anything from Shaw, he's tired of standing in their lines. 

Tim surprisingly does know how to use logmein. He kicked Steve out of all of the programs he was in on Tim's desk since Steve's computer died. 

"I'm just one step ahead of Tim." Steve about computers

"I didn't come in here for a lecture." Ashley to Bill about her dog deposit

Faith quit her job for about eight hours in retaliation of Mary laying her off for about eight hours last year. 

Faith's daughter told her that she could no longer be in charge of making decisions...sounds like a Rachel and Monica thing. 

Bill was offended that John asked him if he had his vaccination yet. How's that for making somebody feel like they look like they should be over 65. 

Ashley and I definitely missed out on paddle boarding in the snow. I just saw this picture of somebody using their paddleboard as a sled. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/11/2021

 The Daily Chatter*

01/11/2021

Ashley is hosting a Superbowl party this year because she gave me her new address. 

I was traumatized on Friday with Marty's story about wanting to hit on his first grade Catholic school teacher at one of his sister's party's. When Ashley decides that she wants all of us to leave her place on Superbowl Sunday she can ask Marty to share the story. 

Several people saw the coyote that Faith named Jack out in our parking lot last week. 

According to Nikki, Toni has a small torso. 

Poor Ashley had to take Kahlua in for a biopsy on her liver and the first thing they came back with was a possibility that Kahlua might have hepatitis and the strange thing was the same day Toni's doctor thought that Toni's blood work came back with possible hepatitis antibodies. Turns out that was a weird coincidence and mistake. 

"Friends" needs to hurry up and come out with some new episodes because Bill needs to know what Ross would do if his childhood doctor retired. 

Something scary that I realized last week is that Antifa partially copied our A logo and Mary's selling wardrobe accessories to inspire your horned man capitol invasion look. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/23/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

11/23/2020

I was shocked to hear that Josh was already back to work today.

Toni takes the sign on his door very seriously especially when you stand at it and talk about your step daughter bobbing for marshmallows and you have no idea what that refers to. 

Last week somebody sat on our front steps and took off their socks and ate an ice cream drumstick. I would say this person was hallucinating and thinking that they were having hot flashes even though it must have been the middle of the night. 

Leave it to Tim to volunteer himself to drive far away to show the department of fish and wildlife something.  

Don't ever wear too much cologne around Steve because he'll threaten to open the doors and air out the building while calling you a French whore. 

Good grief, CenturyLink field has a new name, it's now Lumen Field. As if it matters, I still call the Federal Way Mall the Seatac Mall and how many years has it been. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

10/27/2020-11/03/2020

 The Daily Chatter*

10/27/2020-11/03/2020

Steve needs to hurry back, Bill's trying to sell only re-grout jobs.

Bill asked me if I was ready for Halloween last week, I told him I was and that I was going to be Sexy Steve this year and just grow out my facial hair and put on a flannel. Bill told me that if I could do that I would definitely tick Matt S. off if I could grow facial hair faster than him. 

Roxanne doesn't want to be called a Millenial.

Ashley has found the ultimate good time, drive through strippers in Portland. 

Tim left us over the weekend for a nice warm trip to San Diego. I could use some of that sun right now, I'm already tired of our one day of rain. 

According to Bill "Ashley is super wisdomsy"

My phone was trying to pair with Mary's ipad the other day and she naturally thought it was Phoebe Buffay doing it. 

"Anyone who has or will do their own flooring will die, it's a fact." Mr. U'nnells given as the explanation for Sean Connery's death at age 90. 

*not to be construed as Gossip