October 2021

The Daily Chatter*

 October 2021

The new warehouse guy who got let go of today thought that I was Tim's wife. 

Toni informed all of us that a Spokane tv news station showed 13 seconds of porn on their background screen accidentally but he would be happy to describe the porn to you if you didn't see it. 

Bill's son learned a trick to rock, paper, scissors, he turns his fingers into a gun and says bang and wins every time. I really hope that he has a conceal carry permit. 

Bill told Siri to remind him to order welding rod and Siri interrupted that as Bill needing a wild ride. I have arranged that for him considering I need more gossip. 

Our next door neighbors seem to be taking over our parking lot. Toni's pretty sure that if any of them parked in Tim's spot that there would be a war. Tim should really show up once in awhile and park in his spot so that it doesn't get taken. 

Apparently Bill doesn't like Roger's Bob Newhart references and thinks that Roger's age gap to him shows when he says dumb stuff like this. I'm stumped because Bill normally knows everything about old actors but apparently not Bob Newhart.

Bella completely ate Sarah's plant in the breakroom then on top of it she decided that she wanted Bill's salad too. She's a very healthy eater.  

*not to be construed as Gossip

September 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

September 2021

I don't think I want to know how our installers managed to clog a urinal.

Toni thinks his nephew is a freak because he's so smart. 

"It's probably a good thing you never had kids." Chris L. after I told him that my kitten could do whatever she wanted.

Faith told me that I should accessorize my kitten Bella with matching ribbons so now I change out her collar color to match my outfit. 

Serge thought that my office sign said that I was a kitten killer. How delusional does he think that I am?

Apparently Josh and Toni are both idiots. Josh thought Bolivia was in Germany and Toni thought that Belgium was in Germany. 

Leave it to Toni to say something very gay on his jobsite in an elevator full of guys. 

One of Toni's contractors told him that he could just find his profile picture on Grindr (Gay Dating site).

Leave it to Steve to prove his masculinity to us, he went out hunting after dying in bed for a week from Covid. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

August 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

August 2021

"I wish Ashley would get back to work that little b*tch." Tim because she partied too hard at Watershed

Tim has expensive taste he's never going to be able to retire, he apparently spent $38.00 a shrimp trying to catch his own in the San Juan Islands. 

I told Bill he needed to sign up to be an extra in an upcoming Tom Hanks movie with the British Navy hijacking that happened in early August. Bill wondered if he looked Arab enough for the part though. 

Steve thinks he's part of the Van Gang now. He got tired of seeing motorcycle riders sign to each other so now he's V'ing it at Van drivers.

I'm a little ticked that Faith didn't bring me back any men from Scotland. I'm sure Mary's ticked at her too for not getting the picture of Sam Heughan that she wanted.

Faith has already offered to be Ashley's wedding planner and has suggested next spring. 

Bill decided to get shingles because he wanted all of us to tell him how young he is to be experiencing that, even though Toni had it in his twenties. 

This is my new kitty who still doesn't have a name because everybody wants me to name her Knight Rider but Mary and I think she needs a feminine name.

 

*not to be construed as Gossip

July 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

July 2021

"Don't let your three year old eat potato chips off of the Sea Tac airport floor." Bill's advice for the month

Ashley finally let us meet John this month.

Dale came in and asked me if I was ok because he noticed that I had lost weight since the last time I saw him.  It was the most awkward conversation but luckily Bill overheard the whole thing so that we could crack up afterwards. Bill asked me if Dale apologized for calling me skinny.

Toni thought a woman in Portland was normal until he saw a sticker saying what she really was BFJMC. 

"Roger's the only guy who acts hung over and doesn't drink." Bill

Toni's still got it. Some college girl hit on him from her car driving by. 

"I'm just being Tim's little courier bitch." Toni

Mary got a pedicure and the guy kissed her feet because he thought that she was a nice woman. 

Michael told Bill that he really needed to watch the tones that that he uses with women. 

Tim's threatening to retire again. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

June 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

June 2021

Bill says he has issues with his dad saying that he's claustrophobic and I said I have issues with my dad seeing UFO's and military helicopters and I kind of felt like I won that family disfunction award. 

If Mary ever wonders why she never gets to go on vacation it's because she complains about everything. Seriously why would you complain about an old AC unit sitting underneath a sink in your room. She should have plugged it in and found out if it worked even a little bit and brought it home to me so that I can survive the heat the next time around. 

Does Bill not look at IMDB before watching horrible movies? If it's rated a 2.9 I would begin to question whether or not that two hours of my life was worth that risk. Needless to say he didn't like the movie "Breach". 

Toni made everyone jealous this month, he got to go into Howard Schultz's office. 

"You grab the wrong woman's a$$ one time and my wife schedules an eye appointment for me." Bill

"I don't even have ovaries and they're burning." Steve after seeing Toni's son

I was proud of Toni, he at least warned his customer that he was wearing Crocs before he went to the jobsite. I just figured his customer would have thought it was because of Pride month. 

"Steve has nuts, that will make my wife happy" Bill

Bill now thinks I hate all kids just because I told a guy on Father's Day that I didn't want to date him because he has kids. 

Faith thinks that somebody is letting the air out of her tires at her apartment complex. I hope she gets even with whoever it is. 

Just a few weather blunders that I saw recently but it sure felt like it was that hot and I'm sure Wenatchee thought so too.  

*not to be construed as Gossip

May 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

May 2021

"We're a bunch of sick f**ks" Bill

Apparently Mary and Typhinee got a Happy Mother's Day text from Jason. 

Tim is now threatening Toni with his Coronastick to do his change orders.

Tim told me that I needed to eat a pizza. 

"On the spectrum or maybe just the influence of being raised by a single parent."...Some lady rudely said about a young kid who was waving at Toni. 

Toni says he's not going to be friends with Gene Simmons who apparently bought a place next to Mary's beach house. 

Faith can't wait to see a drunk Scotsman. 

"Ducks are so rapey." Toni

Toni and Nikki are expecting a girl. 

Josh got married this month and us office people weren't invited but the guys took a good picture without us. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

April 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

April 2021

Bill told me that I should buy some ankle bracelets to be hip again so now I'm on the search for a whole bunch of those. 

Toni's parents better watch out on Friday's because Bill wants to pawn his kids off on them too.

Toni's son learned a new word "shit". 

Ashley won concert tickets by calling into a radio station. Bill and I made fun of her because we didn't know that was still a real thing, we definitely told her that was old school. She got to talk to Mary's celebrity friend though. Bill thinks that it's the most impressive thing that Ashley has done since she's been here though. If I were her I would definitely be offended. 

"I don't want to die in crocs" Toni

"My office is going through a tunnel, I can't hear you right now" Bill to a customer

According to Ashley the Mall of America is in Canada. 

I'm pretty sure Ashley has also been labeled a sexual predator by Toni, she claims that she was going to tell him nice Crocs and it came out cocks. 

Bill was super excited for me to tell Sarah about the "Downton Abbey 2" movie coming out in December. I guess that's going to have to be his after work event when it comes out. 

"I was floor boy for a long time." Steve

Michael likes to go by Madisen now, people have been relabeling his packages with his new name. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

March 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

March 2021

I love that Steve remembers and can relate to the worst night in TGIF history which was the OJ Simpson car chase that screwed up the TGIF lineup. 

Apparently our subcontractor unblessed a jobsite that had coins inserted into the walls during a spiritual ritual that he didn't know about and all he was trying to do was make the walls even before he installed tile. 

The city of Kent finally came and picked up the mattress that was in our driveway because I told them to. Apparently they also have an app for fixing crap around the city. I wonder how well that will work when I start locating every pothole in the city for them.

Bill made sure to ask me how hung over Ashley was after her birthday week before he went to talk to her. 

Ashley identifies as a grocer now, she thinks she's a bag lady. 

I was going to identify as Ashley's grocer boss if anyone asked what I did for a living yesterday at my covid vaccine appointment but nobody cared. 

Ashley can't be trusted to throw away shrimp and left it to her car detailer guy to find where the terrible smell was coming from.

*not to be construed as Gossip

 

03/03/2021-03/04/2021

 The Daily Chatter*

03/03/2021-03/04/2021

Bill was surprised to learn a few weeks ago that officer Dangle works for Jimmy Johns. 

I won't be ordering dog toys based on Steve's recommendations. 

I mentioned Gary's golf mural wall paper the other day and I thought Bill forgot something but then I realized that Gary had it installed in his office after Bill and Mary left.

Michael thinks Ashley is a beautiful brilliant African American woman apparently.

Toni and Steve are feeling a little over looked in the physically attractive category lately. I guess Josh keeps getting all of the attention. 

My sweater apparently reminds Toni of "Scooby Doo" and Bill said it reminded him of "The Partridge Family". Thanks for making me feel old guys. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

February 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

February 2021

Toni and I had a conversation  that if you're going to be romantically involved with Marilyn Manson then you probably knew that you weren't making good life choices just based on his name, his looks and his Satanic involvements so honestly who cares if you were abused by him. 

Bill and Roxanne should be very proud their daughter loving to say the word "dammit". I wonder where she picked that up from?😂

Tim thinks because he's going on vacation soon that he's going to take the rest of the year off too. 

Steve doesn't want anyone ordering anything from Shaw, he's tired of standing in their lines. 

Tim surprisingly does know how to use logmein. He kicked Steve out of all of the programs he was in on Tim's desk since Steve's computer died. 

"I'm just one step ahead of Tim." Steve about computers

"I didn't come in here for a lecture." Ashley to Bill about her dog deposit

Faith quit her job for about eight hours in retaliation of Mary laying her off for about eight hours last year. 

Faith's daughter told her that she could no longer be in charge of making decisions...sounds like a Rachel and Monica thing. 

Bill was offended that John asked him if he had his vaccination yet. How's that for making somebody feel like they look like they should be over 65. 

Ashley and I definitely missed out on paddle boarding in the snow. I just saw this picture of somebody using their paddleboard as a sled. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

01/11/2021

 The Daily Chatter*

01/11/2021

Ashley is hosting a Superbowl party this year because she gave me her new address. 

I was traumatized on Friday with Marty's story about wanting to hit on his first grade Catholic school teacher at one of his sister's party's. When Ashley decides that she wants all of us to leave her place on Superbowl Sunday she can ask Marty to share the story. 

Several people saw the coyote that Faith named Jack out in our parking lot last week. 

According to Nikki, Toni has a small torso. 

Poor Ashley had to take Kahlua in for a biopsy on her liver and the first thing they came back with was a possibility that Kahlua might have hepatitis and the strange thing was the same day Toni's doctor thought that Toni's blood work came back with possible hepatitis antibodies. Turns out that was a weird coincidence and mistake. 

"Friends" needs to hurry up and come out with some new episodes because Bill needs to know what Ross would do if his childhood doctor retired. 

Something scary that I realized last week is that Antifa partially copied our A logo and Mary's selling wardrobe accessories to inspire your horned man capitol invasion look. 

*not to be construed as Gossip