03/29/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/29/2019

Faith seems to have claustrophobia issues with her clothes...

"You're a woman, I don't know what you're thinking." Bill to me

Bryan said that he will never look at a box cutter the same way again after Faith told us her thong story.

Bryan's measure story from today may beat some of Roger's odd stories. It involved an owner who claimed he forgot the key to his rental and broke in through a back window, a woman dressed in a blanket who was clearly a squatter on the property and Bryan trying to make the carpet sale to the owner while the police arrived.

I'm a little disturbed Michael told me that he partied all night with one of my closest friends and now she won't talk to me.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/28/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/28/2019

"I would rather be a prostitute than an elementary school teacher." Toni

Heather really likes to Facebook stalk people and then tell them all about it.

Michael thinks his life should be turned into a reality show. He claims that he has more wild stories than Roger.

Tim seems to have an aversion to balloons.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/27/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/27/2019

Michael tried telling Sarah that he wasn't as big of a dick as everyone says he is....

Leave it to Donna (Tim's wife) to make everyone feel special.

Sarah and I went through some books on Typh's desk that had some weird stuff highlighted in them. We really weren't sure what kind of smut we were looking at.

Matt asked Bud for his finger and fortunately I left before things got really weird.

If you don't show up for work Sarah automatically informs everyone that you have some horrible infection.

Tim had a parking space but now it's missing.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/26/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/26/2019

Heather called me unpredictable today, that's not really a word that I hear about myself often.

Ashley was under Tim's desk yesterday and all Bill heard was "I can't figure out which hole to stuff it in."

"I don't know why people don't talk to you more?" Bill to me as I was making fun of him

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/25/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/25/2019

I thought Toni told me that he had something for bald guys this morning but I think I may have been mistaken.

It was nice of us to get Jason high on his first day of work with contact cement.

"I tore the rest of your life apart." Bill to Tim

Ashley said it was a great time to be in Vegas because of March Madness and the ratio of men to women.

Toni was freaked out by a bird that was in the warehouse today. Is it possible that some of Roger's phobias have transferred to Toni?

I'm pretty sure Heather scared Tim and Michael away from Typh's desk by telling them that she was planning on having sex on Typh's desk today.

Sarah shocked all of us today and I'm pretty sure she shocked herself, she closed her first job in the home today.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/22/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/22/2019

Ashley was obviously drunk at 8:30 this morning because she was answering emails while in Vegas.

Mary told me that Bryan is a pedophile who likes to take little kids to his van. I'm not sure why this didn't show up on his background screening. I wonder what his real name is?

Typhinee's mad because someone sent her flowers.....Was she this mad when someone sent her dick pics?

Shortly after Mary told me about Bryan's issues I saw him talking to Faith and thought maybe she was in danger because he thought she was a little kid but I think she made it out alive.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/21/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/21/2019

Ashley got her spray tan and is now officially ready for Vegas.

Bill has requested a couch with an ejection seat button for uncomfortable meetings.

My world is fine now because Roger told me that he's not mad at me.

Heather blames me for her social security number breach. In that case I'm sure Tim blames me for filing unemployment for him years ago too. Heather's pretty sure that I just bought a home in the Cayman Islands.

I really missed out on some of Michael's amazing moves in the warehouse today. Hopefully it's on video so that I can watch it later.

Toni asked me about a girl scream that he heard earlier but then Bill and I heard him scream like a girl in the warehouse not long after this. Bill thought it sounded too manly for Toni though, this coming from a man who said he was going home to try on some new heels. 

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/20/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/20/2019

"Why do you only have boy pictures?" Macy to me (about the color pages that I had given her from Toni's book)

Roger overthinking things was pretty much the theme of today.

"I don't get this." Macy to me about my Kellen on a stick

Toni said that Mary is now telling people that he impregnated her daughter, this sounds scandalous.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/19/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/19/2019

Happy Birthday Ashley!

"I will not be in on May 10th because it's Larry's first birthday. As a gift I am taking him to the vet to get his nuts removed." Toni  

Michael admitted that he gets the good coffee when he drives the company vehicles. 

Ashley and Heather were making fun of me today for not knowing that they are work wives.

Bill and I discussed that Thai hookers don't have the expensive tariff that Chinese hookers do. This maybe part of the reason why my husband called me a lesbian over the weekend.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/18/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/18/2019

Toni and Kellen still text each other. Kellen's mind was blown when Toni mentioned that he knew other Kellen's.

That's probably the last time that Jen will send the girls to work with her dad, I gave them a picture to color out of Toni's Men in Uniform coloring book.

"Let's admit it, it's the best diet that you can go with." Bill to me about taking meth

"Oh my gosh, why don't you shave, it's like Beauty and the Beast." Macy to Toni about his arms

"I can't believe that you're wearing green, it's like you don't want Marty to pinch you at all." Bill to me

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/15/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/15/2019

"I don't even know what an edger is and now I feel bad about it." Toni to Bill

Bryan is apparently very special, hoity-toity in fact, he has his own golf cart.

"Mary's such a mom, she asked which one that was and said Darth Vader." Toni about his new Ironman Keurig

Typhinee's flight coming home on Sunday from San Diego was cancelled. Once we heard that all of us decided to go with her.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/14/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/14/2019

"You take me out on a date in Florida then you don't call or write to me." Bill to Jim

Bud and Typhinee may not be friends after today, she dumped half of his girl scout cookies.

Sarah's customer quote of the day "Everything was going great until she decided to turn into a lesbian."

Typhinee has offered to find us sales people by recruiting at random gyms. Obviously she's going to need to bring us pictures and then we will form a committee and decide.

"The pain in my knee has gone to my head." Bill

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/13/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/13/2019

"This is why I don't have friends, now I remember." Bill complaining about his friend that calls him once a year usually for money and today a job.

Typhinee walked past me today and was totally looking me over. She claims that she was sizing me up, I really don't want her to tell me how overweight I am, my bathroom scale does that for me already. 

Michael took up so much of Bill's time today with all of his computer issues that Bill's coming in tomorrow. 

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/12/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/12/2019

"I feel like you looked at my body and then asked me about my gym membership." Toni to Bill

"Making a deal with a woman is like wishing on a genie." Bill to Toni

This was one of our last days on Maui and we drove out to a beautiful beach and listened to some siren which we figured was the warning signal indicating that the North Korean's were attacking us but luckily that never happened. 

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/11/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/11/2019

"I guess I was outnumbered (with women) when I hired you." Bill to me  ~I'm confused does this mean that he thinks Roger and Steve fall in the female category too because they were here when I started or did he just mean that I'm that too much woman to handle?

"If she keeps the chickens, you can keep the baby." Mary to Toni

Bill admitted to Steve that he's a dick. I'm pretty sure Steve is having a sign engraved with the date of this event.

"Where the F$k do you think I live?" Bill to Toni while Toni was telling him about the road closures due to the shooting at Kent Station

Toni is still talking about the whale that Travis saw from the I-90 bridge and Bill has enhanced the story by saying that it jumped over the I-90 bridge.

My vacation stories are almost over, you guys get to hear about them for a few more days though. On our next day we had booked an early morning snorkeling trip to the Molokini Crater and unfortunately couldn't make it inside the Crater because the swells were too high. They took us to a couple different snorkeling locations and then took out whale watching. I'm pretty sure we saw more whales than fish that day. The funniest thing on our boat ride was the lady with the young kid who was telling the captain that the water looked fine to her so we should have gone to the crater.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip 

03/08/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/08/2019

Toni was super excited his dinner date got cancelled.

Now that Toni has rats he wants to get rid of his chickens. Instead of giving them away to someone who may actually want them he wants to kill them because he doesn't want somebody else to kill them.

Roxanne mentioned that someone painted this picture behind a hanging picture in one of the rooms at the hotel and they only discovered it because of the remodel.

Onto the next day of vacation, it was a more relaxed day we pretty much just walked a lava trail right next to the ocean which was beautiful but I have to whine that we didn't see any goats. When we were on the big island of Hawaii two years ago we saw tons of goats on the lava so I was really looking forward to it.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/07/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/07/2019

Can somebody please explain to Toni that you can't put Fed Ex packages in the regular mail.

Tim went in to brag to Sarah and Mary before 1 P.M. today that he was done for the day and going home.

Why is it that women want to show their boobs to Toni? He was just telling Ashley and I another weird story.

Last week Tuesday we got up freaking early to go and watch the sunrise at Haleakala Crater which is at 10,000 feet in elevation. We started out on the road at 4 am and I realized that I was getting a text at that unearthly hour from Bill telling me about the items that he just found that Roxanne took from the hotel room on their Florida trip and him finally realizing that he married Ross from "Friends".  When we finally made it to the crater most of the tourists were wrapped in hotel blankets since they obviously didn't bring warm clothes, it was 34 degrees with bone chilling wind. We found out while we were there that they were expecting snow that evening so it was great timing being able to see this area. The scenery on the mountain definitely made me feel like I'm on the set of "Star Wars" especially with all of the large observatories that they have on top.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/06/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/06/2019

I think Bud and Travis jinxed me when I left for my trip. The night before I left the box truck broke down and the guys had a horrible tow truck driver experience. They mentioned at one point that the guy started to pick his nose in the midst of a whole bunch of odd conversations and weirdness. On my flight from Seattle to San Francisco I sat next to a fairly quiet little Asian guy who was softly singing along to his Asian porn with words and towards the end of the flight I noticed that he started picking his nose. Seriously who does that besides Nathaniel?

"It's not like it's a mature thing that I did on my own." Toni

Apparently you shouldn't put drugs or anything wrapped in foil on Bud's desk because he'll throw it away thinking that he'll get blamed for it. (It turned out to be a grout sample that a subcontractor brought back).

Toni was trying to clear his name today with some of the things that he's been accused of doing around here, it didn't work out so well for him because Bill just blamed him for more crap.

As for our second day of vacation we woke up and went snorkeling and the highlight of that trip was that a turtle floated with me  for awhile and I tried to reason with him and tell him that by law I wasn't allowed to be that close to him but he didn't care. Later in the day we went to a beach where we discovered two Hawaiian Monk seals and a very over protective N.O.A.A. lady basically told us to leave because the seals needed their sleep. I guess the same thing happened to Toni when he saw some seals on Kauai.

The Whatever board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/05/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/05/2019

Everyone was nice to me today except for Ashley. She informed me that she didn't miss the Roomba in the mornings when I was gone and she wouldn't even offer me a cup of coffee.

Steve and Bill depressed me this morning by telling me that Luke Perry died yesterday.

Bill claims that he has a special stamp for home, I'm assuming so that he doesn't have to sign cards for his wife.

Toni said that the island of Kauai had a lot of chickens which was good for him considering they eat all of the spiders which are disgustingly huge.

As for my vacation that I get to bore you all with, I thought Maui was an incredibly beautiful place and more laid back than I thought it would be. Since the humpback whales that are born in Hawaii return to mate and give birth in Hawaii we saw whale sightings at least every ten minutes, if not more. On our first day we drove to the Iao Valley and then proceeded to an area with a reader board that claimed possible landslides and local access only. We decided that possible was a funny word to use on a sign and drove the road anyways and we were glad we did because the views were amazing.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip