06/09/2016

The Daily Chatter*

06/09/2016

Roger's thinks that my hand sanitizer is turning him gay. That's the least likely thing in our office that will do that.

Toni came in and started bragging to me about his honeymoon trip. I still hate him.

Roger wants to know if Bill still works here. He was beginning to think that maybe Kellen took over.

I told Bill that we sold off his office belongings because we didn't ever expect him to come back. He was only upset that we got rid of his flying monkey. I informed him that it scared Roger too much.

The T's (Tim, Typhinee and Toni) were all plotting something this morning in Tim's office. I don't know what's going on but I think Typhinee is mad at me because I didn't bring in another cake today.

Toni is down to 57 days before he gets married.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/08/2016

The Daily Chatter*

06/08/2016

Congratulations to Roger, he's a grampy! I guess I should say congrats to Dot too but she was such a b*tch the last time I saw her.

Typhinee and I are twinsies today and she is thrilled about it.

For those of you who have watched "Arrested Development" I found a new take on ANUSTART. 

Toni went to the hospital last night to see his friend and was told that a giant python escaped from Smith Tower and had been eating seagulls outside of the hospital parking garage for a week but had been captured. How do you not spot a large disgusting creature that can eat a seagull?

Somebody told me to have a great weekend today, I think that was mean considering that it's only Wednesday.

Toni was dancing a jig when he left to meet some men and he also grabbed his hard hat. He's going to have quite the night.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/07/2016

The Daily Chatter*

06/07/2016

Roger thinks that today is the day that he gets a grandson. Typhinee told him that most births happen on a Tuesday and he didn't believe her originally, shame on him.

Mary had a million excuses as to why she wouldn't be in today. She really needs to space them out  and the crazy thing was they were all excuses that Michael Scott used: at a civil rights rally, stopping a fight in the parking lot, attending an Obama fashion show, got trapped in an oil painting and had to have a colonoscopy. Sounds like quite the day Mary.

"I've never worn jewelry before." Toni   I did get him to admit to wearing the tiara and the nipple rings though.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/06/2016

The Daily Chatter*

06/06/2016

Happy Birthday Tim!

Roger's ticked, he still doesn't have a grandson out of the womb yet.

I'm pretty sure Roger's so ticked that his negative aura killed Muhammad Ali. I hope Roger realizes that unleashing his spiritual powers probably wasn't a good thing and hopefully he won't try it at the office. I still need him to sign the "Do not Kill Me" contract.

Bill brought the baby by today. Needless to say Mary wouldn't share her with the rest of us and then awkwardly stole her blanket and hid it in the closet.

"I'm not computer savvy." Crystal     I never noticed, man she had me fooled:)

The Playboy Mansion sold to the Twinkies owner, who apparently also has property next door. The agreement was that Hefner could live there the rest of his life.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/03/2016

The Daily Chatter*

06/03/2016

I think Typhinee had a great idea this morning. Tim had his boat in the parking lot and she said we should all go get in the boat but the problem was we were all out of beer at the office.

Roxanne really spoiled things, how is Roger's grandson going to be able to hook up with Baby Katherine if she's older than him?

Mary had to go and see baby Katherine last night. It sounds like Bill and Roxanne had to call security and lock down the building because she tried to steal their kid. I'm pretty sure Mary is beyond  Beverly Goldberg standards at this point.

Tim says he needs to drink heavily. What about the rest of us? We want in too...especially since Tim's drinking.


Mary saw the sun today and she was out of here. She obviously took the "Almost Live" Summer sketch to heart. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/02/2016

The Daily Chatter*

06/02/2016

Today was the big day, Katherine Grace was born.

Roger is absolutely furious that his grandson didn't come first.

I think Bill's been hiding something from us because this kid looks like she is several days old, she's too perfect. 


Poor Tim he has to meet his youngest daughters new 40 year old boyfriend tonight (who happens to have an eight year old kid). For some reason he came to me for advice and my husband is older and has more kids. Tim obviously forgot momentarily that I'm crazy. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/01/2016

The Daily Chatter*

06/01/2016

Happy Birthday to me!

Roger heard how old I was turning and decided he should buy me some new tennis balls for the bottom of my walker.

"The really weird thing is I thought the Heimlich Maneuver was a German sex act." Bill  "No that's the hiney lick." Roger

Bill was excited because he knew that the worlds longest and deepest rail tunnel opened today beneath the Swiss Alps but then Roger spoiled his excitement by telling him he's already done the other tunnel.

Note to self, don't ask Typhinee why she hasn't hooked up with Ron yet.

Roger wants a view like Dot gets from her window at work. I told Roger we could move next to these people.

Thank-you all for a wonderful birthday!

*not to be construed as Gossip