11/27/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/27/2019

"We don't do artistic drawings." Bill to Ashley   Bill's wrong, I'm pretty sure that Toni does artistic drawings.

"I might be a little sadistic but I kind of like it." Typh

Michael offered to bring Faith and I in a little a$$ on Friday. I have a feeling that my husband will not approve of me going to work on Friday now.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/26/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/26/2019

Toni was telling us this morning about that cars he dreamt about last night. Makes sense since everything has to be car related with him.

Tim and Sarah asked for a copy of the employee handbook today, I think they're scheming things again.

Sarah decided to put in for maternity leave after reading the employee handbook and Bill being the generous guy that he is offered to pay for the kids' college and all expenses. Sounds like guilt to me, this should be a fun conversation to bring up at the Christmas party in front of Roxanne.

According to Toni the only time that I'm dead serious is if I stand up from my desk.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/25/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/25/2019

"Sarah's being difficult, she hasn't been the same since she learned how to weld." Bill

Roxanne's ticked because Bill can renew his TSA precheck number online but she has to go in to renew. Obviously they've been listening to Bill's phone and hearing what he says about his wife. Don't worry Roxanne I'll tell you everything at the Christmas Party.

Toni doesn't want to come to paint night unless he can do some nude modeling. I know how hurt he was in college when they didn't pick him for the modeling job so I told him he was more than welcome to come to the event and do that.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/22/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/22/2019

The new Tesla truck according to Toni is like describing a Delorian to a blind person and having them drawing it.

My husband was sick yesterday but insisted on taking me to work because he didn't want me to have to get gas for the car. I'm not sure if he was just scared that I would pull a Roger or if he was just being a really nice guy.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/21/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/21/2019

Steve says that you should sell your kids before they become teenagers.

Michael brought in his sons dog today which made him very popular with the ladies and Toni.

Toni taught Sarah and I the urban dictionary meaning of the word ratchet today. Toni's never going to teach me anything else again because I already used the word.

Apparently Steve is going to do an office experiment tomorrow to see how many people can be rushed to the ER by using Dab.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/20/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/20/2019

Mary touched something shiny that came out of somebody's van and she decided that she better wash her hands.

Bill thinks that his wife's family should have a reality show. Thanksgiving would be a great time to start that and all of us would be happy to make cameo appearances on the show as long as we're fed well.

Tim's coming back early because according to Bill "Tim is bored out of his mind".

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/19/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/19/2019

Ashley seems to take out all of her aggression's on Riley.

I'm a little disappointed Toni normally has something funny to share after a get away and this time he talked about how he and Lou didn't like the dryness of Arizona and bloody noses. I was really hoping for a story more like the time he heard people having sex over speakers outside of his friends' wedding venue.

Roger's ears were definitely burning today when we had an employee meeting without him.

Sarah thought that Ashley was screaming in the warehouse and Sarah went to check on her and it turned out to be Toni.

Steve's friendship apparently costs real money especially if you don't do your pick tickets, he charges Toni $1.00 each time. Bill on the other hand has a gambling problem but usually wins money off of Toni too. It's starting to sound like Toni just pays to work here.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/18/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/18/2019

Typh's happy today because she finally got a copy button in RFMS.

Faith tried coming into work today but had to go home because of traffic, what a horrible excuse but I think I'll use that one tomorrow.

Michael's offended because Typh physically ran into him and told him that he was scary. I'm assuming that she's going to paint Matt on paint night but then again she really does like scary. I can't wait to be surprised.

Bill thought I forgot about the cheesecake reference in "Friends" and now I think he's mad at me. How could anybody forget that episode.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/15/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/15/2019

Bill thinks that his son is going to be the next Steve Jobs with some sort of a snack phone, isnack.

Key West sounds like the place to be right now, they just had 233 consecutive days of 80 plus degrees which sounds like heaven to me.

"I'm sure that Tim and Michael will hate it but I love it." Sarah

Bill gave some of us great advice today from an article in "The Onion"and a few people took it to heart. 
https://www.theonion.com/health-experts-recommend-standing-up-at-desk-leaving-o-1819577456?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&fbclid=IwAR07ejpIRm3M_WheRWF8WM2GTiDBimmsjzamLanATKNI_k96LMVfCzZ9reM

Ashley, Sarah and Steve are all trying to recruit Bill into their new company, Rock Bottom Flooring. Sarah said that they are going to start in a tent in her back yard and they're going to start by paying their employees with eggs.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/14/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/14/2019

Tim was telling Toni how devastating it is to fly with a baby right before Toni left for Phoenix today with Lou all by himself.

Tim told me that he's gone for a week to Lake Chelan. Who approved this and how can I get as much time off as him?

"Bill didn't talk to me for the first year that I was here." Typh obviously still bitter about it.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/13/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/13/2019

Bill told Toni that he can sell the sh*t out of things but to stay away from the analogies.

Ashley thinks that Sarah, Tim and I are planning a murder and she doesn't want to be an accessory to the crime.

Faith has nicknamed Riley Roomba because she loves picking up all food crumbs.

"Ashley was being kind of bitchy about it." Bill about Mary's speakers making annoying noises

Toni's concerned about his breast milk being touched while going through TSA tomorrow.

Bud must have been overly concerned that we were going to bring Kellen back if he took the day off because Typh had to finally tell him to leave and go to the hospital.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/12/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/12/2019

Michael has offered to sing Christmas Karaoke at paint night, this is going to be such a treat.

Ashley now thinks of herself as a magician.

I was so proud of Tim (Roger would be proud too), yesterday he actually knew about an old movie which he never knows about.

Typh has scared everyone with my man picture so tomorrow when I see my dad I'll tell him it's a good thing he didn't have a son.

Tim, today would have been a good day to pull Bud's man card because I almost did it myself.

Bill let Tim disassemble his pencil Jenga puzzle.

Michael was very upset that something from Victoria's Secret wasn't edible or see through.

Toni thinks that surprise nudity is funny but apparently if one of our installers comes to paint night nude, he promised to throw up (because it would be too funny).

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/11/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/11/2019

Tim wants to pull Bud's man card for hosting a paint night. Did Tim not see the sign on the door because there's going to be a risque after party.

Bill thinks that bananas are a cure all. Last week I thought he was promoting avocados, did he change his mind?

My husband informed me again that I need to read words instead of pictures, that arctic cold surge that I had a map of on Friday in the Chatter will break lots of temperature records but apparently won't affect us much and the map was not of temperatures.

Ashley's paranoid because Bill measured her office.

I heard Bill tell Mary that size doesn't matter....I must have misheard him.

Typhinee is a horrible, horrible, horrible person and Toni makes a really hot woman so I hate him too.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/08/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/08/2019

When I checked in at the dermatologist yesterday the lady commented that I had a lovely glow about me and my first thought was please don't ask me if I'm pregnant because I've been talking about VD all day because of Roger.

If this Arctic blast really happens next week, I'll need to take an immediate vacation to somewhere tropical. It has us at 5 degrees and Miami at 1 degree, this seriously better not happen or I'm going to be wearing every fur that I own to work.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/07/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/072019

If Tim complains about the hot water spigot on the new broken water cooler not working he just needs help with the child safety lock. 

Roger loves that he can haunt all of us from a distance. 

If I ever text someone at 12:20 in the morning please know that it cannot possibly be me because that is way past my bed time and the second thing is, I don't have VD. Yes, this will be a fun one to explain to my husband tonight. 

Bill also had an old text resent at midnight from an installer and Tim had some odd things happen later today with his texts and they are both iphone users. I just read on Bing that many of the ghost texts were from Valentine's Day. 

I am apparently "the sh*t" according to Matt.

I hear that Puerto Rican strip clubs are very nice. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/06/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/06/2019

"After I murder the designer with a shovel." Bill to Ashley

This maybe the last time that Bill asks Roger for advice. "Tell them all to quit worrying about their feelings and especially any of the women involved, tell them to go and lose some weight." Mary and I immediately texted Roger and said that Bill told us to lose some weight then I told Sarah to lose some weight too. Even though Roger's not here, all of the women are still upset with him.

Ashley is now confusing her dog with a dog treat machine while she's at work. She had that poor thing thinking that she was close by and excited to see her.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/05/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/05/2019

Bill says he's now torn to come to work because his son never wants him to leave in the mornings.

Tim has already pleaded his case for a 4 day work week after seeing the new study done in Japan but I'm pretty that's all Tim works anyways.

Toni's mad at Bill that Bill gave Howard his job in his dream and then Toni's wife called Toni a loser.

Michael's changing his work event, now he wants to play The Newlywed Game with everyone.

"I hope that I have a 30 year old b*tch who works for me when I'm 60". Toni about Tim using him.

Ashley is never speaking to Steve or Bill again, they went to lunch without her.

Matt has informed most of us that he would like to be called hot from time to time, this is not in my scope of work so somebody else (like Toni who loves calling the men handsome around here) will need to do that for him.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/04/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/04/2019

I disappointed Bill first thing this morning by reminding him that Kellen broke our favorite water cooler and the look alike that came on Friday is now partially broken (because the cold water doesn't want to work).

Michael called Tim wussy boy this morning but then Michael refuses to come to work tomorrow if he has to drink tap water...

I love that Mary has a Plan B already and Bill knows the guys name, how odd.

I think Michael was jealous that I won the Halloween contest and that I didn't pre-approve my outfit with him first.

I corrected Bill and Toni today on who killed Hitler, it was Sam Elliott according to the movie that I watched last weekend and he also killed Bigfoot. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/01/2019

The Daily Chatter*

11/01/2019

"She (Roxanne) doesn't understand that it's the single greatest thing to happen to me all day." Bill about the new water cooler

I had to explain to Roxanne that it's like Kellen never broke our best water cooler and that's why Bill was so excited.

I had several people ask yesterday if Bud was dressed as me for Halloween. I'm not quite sure I could handle seeing that one.

Toni is still talking about Travis seeing whales in Lake Washington.

Fantastic, Typh thinks I called her a dike which I did not do so if I don't show up to work on Monday Typhinee obviously did something to me.

*not to be construed as Gossip