09/15/2017

The Daily Chatter*

09/15/2017

Poor Bill still has me going on a Mediterranean cruise in his mind. 

I'm pretty sure Bill brought Katherine in today just to distract me from going on vacation, it almost worked.  

Toni gave me some Swiss Francs to use in Switzerland to buy wine with. He's such a nice boy when he's not analraping.

We had a phone message that we shouldn't go outside today because of the smoke but the other day when it was raining down ash apparently it was fine to go outside. 

Can somebody please tell Typhinee that we don't allow wearing white after Labor Day and I have no idea why.  

I will see you all on October 2nd. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/14/2017

The Daily Chatter*

09/14/2017

"I'm loving this, I can get both of you with just one holler." Tim about being in Bill's office because his computer went kaput today.

Tim told Michael that he's going on vacation with me that should start some nice rumors.

We just missed a spectacular concert at the Colossuem: Andrea Bocelli, Steven Tyler, David Foster and Elton John were all just there for one night.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/13/2017

The Daily Chatter*

09/13/2017

Mary also thought that I was taking a cruise. I apparently need to leave a note on my door saying that I will not be on a cruise in case any of my fellow coworkers tells anyone that I am.

I was glad to see that the Bacardi Rum Factory in Puerto Rico survived Irma. 

That dang Roger tried to steal my thunder for being the most shallow person. He always thinks that he has to outdo me. I bet he's going to show up on my vacation just to try to outdo our experiences.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/12/2017

The Daily Chatter*

09/12/2017

Toni's insulted because Tim called him a pedophile yesterday because he was talking to Ashley. Toni had to point out that they were the same age.

Bill seems to have lots of applause coming from his office today. He told me it was a button he had on his keyboard to make himself feel better.

Bill looked at Google Maps today and the Caribbean was still there so he's pretty sure this hurricane news is all a lie.

Someone is going to have to remind Bill next week that I'm not on a cruise. Someone may also have to explain to him that cruises work best only when there is water around the places that you visit. I know it's very confusing considering Venice has a large cruise port but Florence and Zurich do not. Hopefully someday soon I'll confuse him even more and take a Mediterranean cruise.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/11/2017

The Daily Chatter*

09/11/2017

One week from today I will be in Italy (ok I guess my husband is going too) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve is off to camp tomorrow with a bunch of  little boys.

Toni thinks one of the creatures from Shrek came in today.

"Is that any way to talk to Jesus?" Bill about Toni getting mad that Jesus couldn't do his job

According to Toni's song of the day he doesn't want to be a chicken or a duck but he would like to shake his butt. 

Bill mentioned that we could burn Mary's office after she leaves today since she's sick. I'm assuming that he'll let Katherine do that job since he says its ok for her to play with matches.

Note to self don't ever ever hang up on Typhinee, there are consequences.

Ladies we all need to have this latest look, hair nails....

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/08/2017

The Daily Chatter*

09/08/2017

Bill thinks that he and Randy need to start an I hate Mary club to be like Ross and Brad Pitt on "Friends". 

Tim likes to ensure that I get a few steps of exercise in per day. He tried telling me that his F8 button wasn't working today and I had to tell him that he was crazy. It is possible that he just misses his wife telling him that he's wrong during the day and needs me to do it for her.

I informed Sarah that she has a lot of catching up to do to get a record like Rogers.

Speaking of Sarah she seems to be into animal porn. One of her Orondo neighbors sent her a text of the deers going at it in her yard.

Toni's sister couldn't believe that Toni told everyone here that she's pregnant. Seriously since when has Toni been able to keep a secret?

Bill blew my mind today, the house that Jared and Crystal live at is a rental. Seriously they can never move because their damage bill would be too high and the first item on the list would be the weird cut out in the bathroom door.

Toni's sister compared me to Tim Taylor's neighbor, Wilson, because of the massive monitors that I can barely see over.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/07/2017

The Daily Chatter*

09/07/2017

I was so busy today that I'm pretty sure Bill tricked me into thinking that last month was the end of a quarter.

Sarah was trying to tell all of us that she's really pretty boring just to get out of doing a background check. I had to tell her that we were really just trying to find legal grounds to fire Roger.

 I can't keep up with all of these hurricanes, now Jose is coming.

Ashley definitely would have written Tim up today for being late if she was here because Michael beat him in. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/06/2017

The Daily Chatter*

09/06/2017

Kellen told Typhinee yesterday that he took his girl to some Boy scout camp that all of the Amway people got to go to over the weekend. Typhinee's pretty sure these Amway people are all pedophiles and they think he's just some underage kid. Almost the same exact thing happened on "Arrested Development" so it's very possible.

Jenny left for Utah and thinks Steve can manage...I'm pretty sure Steve's been working on another Costco sized bottle of liquor in his office.

Crap I have to be nice today to Kellen because he brought us in doughnuts.

Everyone is ready for me to leave on vacation. Roger told me that he was going to move to Victoria until I leave and Sarah tried getting me to leave this weekend instead of next.

Well it's Ashley's week for vacation, she's off to Vegas.

Don't ever post a deceiving video on the internet because Mary will find it and hunt you down.

Leave it to Richard Branson to ride out the hurricane on his private island in his wine cellar.  Actually that sounds pretty good to me.

I think Joseph must have signed up to be a Pilot or a Stewardess for Jet Airways because they called about his employment dates today.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/05/2017

The Daily Chatter*

09/05/2017

It's a good thing that Mary's brother didn't show up to the beach house this weekend because Toni was threatening to staple his own balls just to get out of the torture.

A three day weekend just wasn't long enough for Bill so he decided to take today and tomorrow off too. 

It was dark when I got in the car this morning and I started seeing crap floating around inside and I decided we must have been especially dirty people this weekend because that sure didn't look right to me then Ryan noticed all of the ash on the car. 

I've already prayed for God to spare the Bacardi Rum Factory from Hurricane Irma in Puerto Rico and hopefully it won't hit Florida either.

On Saturday Ryan and I went up to Paradise at Mt Rainier and spent our day with all of the cute and furry marmots.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/01/2017

The Daily Chatter*

09/01/2017

I think Tim thinks that the Roomba is alive.

Wow, Roger had Ashley totally fooled. Someone was telling Ashley a Roger story today and she just couldn't wrap her mind around it. Apparently Michael and Roger are both mysteries to her.

Toni lost his hunting boots, he's pretty sure he left them at his empowered woman's yoga retreat.

We discovered that Sarah hasn't met Marty yet....That's another love affair just waiting to happen.

Matt dropped in on us today to show off his new masculinity.

Speaking of masculinity, Toni mentioned that he is going hunting and all of us women started wondering what he was actually going to hunt, I thought it was bear season but Toni told us he's going to hunt doves.

Obviously Roger was worried about this asteroid and could feel it passing by his aura. 

Now Sarah wants new business cards because she wants a better title than Roger.  I have to say it's way easier to make fun of Roger than Sarah but here's a few ideas for her: Genius Sales Manipulator, Carpet Fluffer Rockstar, Conniving Floozie and Entertainment Specialist, Inspirational Star Dancer in "Kinky Boots" and "Gay" a Gay Musical,  Expert in Back Burner Romances, Tai Chi Master Jedi & Irish Alcoholic, Flooring Miracle Worker Diva, Overzealous Chicken Poo Enthusiast, Food You Can Wear & Eat Fashion Model, Elton John Impersonator and Customer Solutions Engineer & Incident Manager.

*not to be construed as Gossip