12/31/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/31/2015

One of my brilliant bosses thinks that supplying his employees with Kleenex will eliminate the booger eating problem around here. If the muncher (Mary's new nickname for somebody) culprit is anything like my cat, he'll just eat the Kleenex too.

"My iphone has been acting up lately, I think it's a conspiracy to get me to buy a new one." Roger

Now people think that Nikki is gay, I wonder why...

I hope you all have a  Rocking New Years Eve.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/30/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/30/15

"That's why people think you're a Prima Donna bitch." Bill to Mary

Tim lost his phone again....so Bill sent him Michael's info.

Apparently our warehouse has become a Situation Room. What kind of a company is this?

Bill and Roxanne are going to find out on Saturday what kind of U'nnells monster they're going to have and it will be revealed at Bill's coming out party over the weekend.

Mary wants Toni to pose with his shirt off for our website. Roger, Matt and Typhinee are all going to be jealous that they weren't asked.

I told Roger that I would sit on his lap tomorrow so my guess is he won't be coming in tomorrow.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/29/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/29/2015

Roger had a customer today who couldn't take a message for her husband because she was sitting on the couch.

Mary tried to get me high today on nail polish.

Mary wants to catch Nathaniel in the act because she wants to tell him that he has to share with everyone in the office if he's going to eat delicacies at his desk. 

I was very disappointed that I couldn't find the Hello Kitty decor this morning for Nathaniel's birthday instead he got One Direction which probably embarrassed him even more.

Kind of strange, Typhinee told me that she's wearing the pants that Roger bought for her this Christmas.....Why didn't I get jeans too? Roger ruined my Chrismas and New Years too.

We apparently don't need a monkey to climb our warehouse racks, Toni does the same thing.

I think Bill was liking the name "Itchy Penis" for their baby, it was recommended by Roxanne so of course he likes it.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/28/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/28/2015

My husband had a strange dream about Tim running his hands through the hair of a woman who was a stranger to him. 

Roger is to blame for everything or so we found out early this morning...

I was even nice to Roger I set out Lemon hand soap this morning but because of his screw up I'm going to have to change it to something even more peachy than peach bellini. What about Georgia Peach mixed with Sparkling Sweet Nectarine. He has to have something against nectarines, he's had such a screwed up life there has to be some reason why he doesn't like them.

I had to think of Toni this weekend while I was watching the 1947 version of "The Bishop's Wife". The husband told the wife that she sounded rather gay and then the wife told him that she felt gay. It just makes me wonder if this is a normal Toni and Nikki conversation but in reverse.

 

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/24/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/24/2015

Merry Christmas everyone!

Toni is seriously losing it, he got another tattoo last night of a bird that he saw in Puerto Rico.

As for our last stop in Puerto Rico we drove to the east end of the island to Fajardo and stayed at a 500 acre resort that had their own private island, they even had a map app of their property that you could download. The picture of the sunrise below was the view from our room so needless to say that I had to drag Ryan to the airport by his ear on Monday morning because he did not want to leave.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/23/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/23/2015

Bill thought that Roger was talking about liking black men when he actually said black pens, very understandable mistake.

Roger has now witnessed something that he wishes he hadn't.

Bill is no help at all, I went in his office after lunch and I had little pieces of Quinoa, from my salad, stuck to my neck and he didn't say a thing.

As for the day that they made us leave the ship, we headed over to our hotel in San Juan and walked around the whole freaking entire city before our room was ready. Since we were out before 8am we had the whole city to ourselves, not even their local coffee shops were open. We went to Casa Blanca which was a home built for Ponce de Leon in 1521 but he died in an exploration and never resided at the home, we also found his tomb at the San Juan Cathedral. I made poor Ryan look for the wild parrots on the island and luckily we found them. Later in the evening we went to some Christmas showing of how Puerto Rican's bling out their boats for the Holidays and it was a huge event at the waterfront for the locals. That night we also discovered why our hotel room provided earplugs. For heaven sake Puerto Rican's obviously don't sleep at night on the weekends, they were up all night yelling conversations back and forth in the alley behind us, finally at 5am the last conversation quit.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/22/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/22/2015

Bill told Cody that I was full of sh*t this morning.

Roger told Matt that Dot was the only one who missed him at our Christmas Party.

Bill and I witnessed the oddest sample drive by return that we've ever seen. A lady got out of the passenger side of her car and brought some samples to our front door meanwhile the driver left her and turned the car around, the woman proceeded to leave the samples on the door mat. Bill could hardly open the door because they were blocking it and then the lady got in passenger side and they drove off.

Roger forced me to eat part of a bacon doughnut this morning, it wasn't my fault.

Either Tim rubbed off on Michael or Michael and Rick have something going on....Michael addressed him as honey today.

I'm starting to think that Typhinee and Andrew are running off together during work. I've seen them both leave and arrive at the same time on multiple occasions.

This is getting sad, I only have St Thomas and Puerto Rico left to talk about. St Thomas was our last cruise ship port and we went snorkeling at Sapphire Beach and it was incredible. We had views over to St John (another US Virgin island) where we normally go snorkeling. While snorkeling we saw two turtles and three spotted eagle rays. In the last picture you will notice a large yacht, Rising Sun, that was docked next to us in port, it is the 11th largest yacht in the world at 453 feet long (our cruise ship was 965 ft long) and it is owned by David Geffen who was one of the creators of Dreamworks Pictures.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/21/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/21/2015

"Tell him it's hardly a weapon and pull his pants back up." Bill about Roger

Michael thinks Tim pulls things out his a$$. 

Toni's pretty sure Vance is going to be his best man. 

Roxanne was deprived as a child and as an adult, she had never seen "It's a Wonderful Life" until last night. 

Roger has an embarrassing picture of himself on his phone with a group of people in green Christmas pajamas with footies. 

Cody now thinks he's Ron Burgundy.....lets hope he doesn't try to tell us what San Diego means in Ron Burgundy terms.

 

Tim said that his neighbor already told him that he looks like an elf. 

Onto our next port of call, St Kitts, we've been to this island before so we decided to take a ferry to Nevis. Nevis is a smaller island and usually wealthier people tend to stay on Nevis. They have a beautiful Four Seasons Resort and Roxanne if anyone ever asks you to transfer there, Ryan will go for you, he wants to move there badly. We toured several old plantations that had been turned into hotels and the island prides itself for being the birthplace of Alexander Hamilton, one of the founding fathers of the US and the founder of the nations financial system and his face is on the $10.00 bill.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/18/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/18/2015

Somebody from Dal Tile wished Toni a happy Festivus today and she couldn't believe that Toni knew what that was. Obviously this woman doesn't know that Seinfeld's creepiest fan, Roger, works here.

Nathaniel shouldn't be very hungry tonight.

"I did look kind of sexy didn't I." Mary to Toni

Typhinee was actually compassionate towards Crystal today and gave her a hug.  Then Crystal asked me for a hug....thanks Typh.

Apparently Nathaniel didn't smell Crystal because he didn't realize anybody else was in our office today.

Onto our next amazing adventure, we went to the island of Dominica that had been hit with a tropical storm in August. The storm took out the hot springs that we would have gone to near the waterfalls but otherwise our tour was still great. This is the only excursion that we have repeated, the last time we did this was three years ago. We went snorkeling in the champagne bubbles that are caused by the volcanic activity under the ocean and the water is noticeably warmer in that area. Then we went to a gorge that was used in the movie "The Pirates of the Caribbean 2" and swam upstream to a waterfall then from there we went to two waterfalls and then to a botanic garden where they have a smashed bus from their 1979 hurricane. It was a busy but amazing day.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/17/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/17/2015

"We had a week and a half of making fun of you...we're covered." Bill about me

"Roger says stuff like that right before he asks for money." Bill

Roger thinks I kill people on my cruises. I only wish, there was a very annoying woman who wouldn't shut up on our day at sea and one on an excursion that I would have loved to have taken out. 

I think Andrew's chickening out of our Christmas party, he made up some excuse about having to go to his little sister's school play tomorrow night.

The next port of call on our cruise was the French island of Martinique. We took a tour of a rum factory which was at the base of Mt Pelee. We were introduced to Shrub an orange flavored rum that the locals drink at Christmas and it is so good that I already need to book a trip back just for more Shrub. Then we went to the town of St Pierre which was wiped out by the 1902 eruption of Mt Pelee, 30,000 people died in the eruption and there was only one survivor who went on to join the Barnum and Bailey circus. After the tour we wandered around town and found the headless statue of Josephine, who was blamed for encouraging Napoleon Bonaparte to re-establish slavery in 1802. The statue had a head but it was taken off at two different times and somebody also painted a red stripe to look like blood so she has remained headless. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/16/2015

The Daily Chatter*

12/16/2015

I'm back, whether you want me or not.

Apparently Cody found God after driving with Nathaniel last week, going two blocks to Les Schwab. Roxanne made Nathaniel go driving with her that evening.

Steve finally stopped breast feeding his daughter or so he said.

"I'm tired of your face." Mary to Typhinee

Bill informed me that Roger thinks that the Peach Bellini hand soap in the bathroom is unacceptable. I agree with Roger, Peach Bellini should only be used in the spring and summer time but I can not be held responsible for putting the soap out because I didn't.

Onto me and my fabulous vacation, our first stop was Tortola which is part of the British Virgin Islands. We took a ferry boat over to another island called Virgin Gorda and went snorkeling at Devil's Bay which has some amazing rocks outlining the beaches and there's a few tricky areas getting to the beach through a path of boulders and water but it was absolutely beautiful. If it makes any of you feel better, it rained some while we snorkeled, it didn't flood like it did here but our beach towels were soaking wet. Unfortunately on that stop two cruise ship passengers died on the main island when the open air truck that they were in rolled over and the last time we visited that island in 2010 one passenger died the same way.

*not to be construed as Gossip