05/31/2017

The Daily Chatter*

05/31/2017

I don't mean to make the rest of you jealous but Marty told me that I was his favorite person this morning. 

I'm glad that my presence has the ability to scare people out of Typhinee's office. Now if she would just quit being nice to people they wouldn't stay so long.

Leave it to Steve and Toni to inform Bill and myself that you cannot drink liquor in a Washington state strip club and that you have to go to Portland to do that.

Bill decided that a one day work week was enough for him because he's gone tomorrow and Friday. 

On our next hike Google Maps decided to take us to a closed off National Forest road near Mount Hood. Luckily we knew that couldn't be right and we kept driving around. We eventually found the trail and then found the sign posted that the trail had a rock slide and it was impassable. Apparently impassable doesn't mean a thing to hikers because just about everyone on the trail made it to the waterfall.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/30/2017

The Daily Chatter*

05/30/2017

Bill told me that I don't take enough pictures on my trips. I'm pretty sure that I've been taking about the same amount as any Japanese tourist would so I'm really not sure how he wants me to improve upon this.

It was very nice that Tim noticed my weight and asked me first thing this morning if I was pregnant. Needless to say he'll be getting a gluten free, icing free, zero calorie cake for his birthday along with no card.

Mary told  me that her car was attacked my a microwave. I would have believed her if she just would have said aliens.

Toni and Nikki stayed at a hostel over the weekend to surprise some friends who got engaged in Leavenworth. That's really quite a sacrifice but the perk was they got 10% off at the bar downstairs.

What a beautiful holiday weekend, Ryan and I stayed at the historic Columbia Gorge Hotel (we were roughing it like Bill would say since it wasn't the Four Seasons) and went hiking all weekend. We started off our trip by doing a loop trail at Multnomah Falls which took us to several amazing waterfalls. By the time we finished our loop we were bombarded with stupid people on the Multnomah bridge wanting to talk selfies and standing in the way of us passing through so I thought for a second what would Roger do and so I started hitting on everyone in my way and asking for their phone number and using his line "you don't sweat much for a fat guy/gal" and they all moved. It worked like magic, thanks for the inspiration Roger. Next time I promise to use your flasher move but I didn't have the right jacket on.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/26/2017

The Daily Chatter*

05/26/2017

I am so freaking mean, Joseph wanted to hang with Kellen all day today and I told him no. I'm thinking that he must like the sex with Kellen.

Roger told me that he had a dream about me and we were discussing land in Montana. I think that I probably told him to move there.

Mary's having an awful day, Starbucks got her drink order all wrong so she's not coming into work...

Roger and I thought it was a little creepy that Typhinee was getting a call from Gary Cooper today, he's been dead since 1961. 

I don't think Kellen's girlfriend has a name, he always refers to her as his girl.

I found out yesterday that Michael is an expert mechanical bull rider, I found out many things yesterday after he sampled the beer.

 

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/25/2017

The Daily Chatter*

05/25/2017

Bill doesn't want to go to Texas because he won't be able to stay at the Four Seasons. It sounds like he's going to be roughing it at a Best Western, I hope he survives.

Steve is ultimately responsible for the In-N-Out burger sign hoax on the new Chick-Fil-A building in Covington that everyone seems to be talking about even though he wasn't the one who printed it. Toni's already upset with him and told him not to play with his emotions.

I was really disappointed to see that the "Goldbergs" weren't on last night and that some remake of "Dirty Dancing" was on instead. I couldn't watch it, "Dirty Dancing" is an 80's classic and it shouldn't be messed with, just let Patrick Swayze rest in peace.

I'm pretty sure Sarah was soliciting Joseph with pocket change today. She obviously knows that he's a young man who will do anything for money. 

Apparently Michael's an expert on beavers. I think he mentioned this after he taste tested the beer to the PSHEA meeting.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/24/2017

The Daily Chatter*

05/24/2017

Steve walked his guy friend down the aisle in Vegas. His stories are really starting to sound like Toni's life.

"I can't look at that stuff because I'm married." Bill to Steve

Mary told Bill that he could look and Bill wanted Mary to call his wife. 

"Geeze your smart." Mary to Bill

"Don't logic me!" Toni to Bill

Tim, you're by yourself tomorrow night nobody wants to help you since you have a broken arm.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/23/2017

The Daily Chatter*

05/23/2017

Happy Birthday Michael!

There's something wrong with Roger. We had carrot cake in the break room and he didn't bury his face in it. I think he's grieving the loss of Roger Moore.

"What the f*#$ were you doing today little b$%ch?" Tim to Toni   Bill liked Tim's quote so much that he decided to use it.

Bill broke our AC unit so please come in your bathing suit tomorrow to avoid heat stroke.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/22/2017

The Daily Chatter*

05/22/2017

Toni says he feels like he boozed himself all weekend when in reality he just moved.

Tim always seems to be up on all of the latest gossip, I'm pretty sure he should be writing "The Chatter" from his new hospital bed that doesn't seem to be helping him sleep at night. 

Tim was so proud of himself, he wore different shoes today so that he could talk to Sarah. Needless to say they weren't the stilettos that he promised.

I swear Michael was here all day today, hopefully he learned his lesson and that will be the last time that he goes off gallivanting with Tim on a Friday when he should be working. 

OJ gets another parole hearing this July. Roger told the parole board that he would take OJ in if he was released. Roger thought that having OJ go to his job measures with him and having him do the closing portion of the sale with a possible death threat would encourage most of his clients to buy from him. He needs something to outdo Sarah since Sarah has way better legs than he does.

Summer seems to finally be here and Ryan and I got to go on a hike. We were so excited to see the sun that we were the first ones to the trail head at Snoquera Falls yesterday morning.

*not to be construed as Gossip