12/01/2016

The Daily Chatter*

12/01/2016

It was sweet and touching, Roger was worried about Bill this morning.

Steve was pretty sure that there was something kinky going on with Typhinee and Sarah today until he realized that Typhinee had a baby on her lap.  

Steve made Katherine cry, she did not like him trying to playing peek-a-boo with her while she was watching Sesame Street.

Roger screwed up my day. I was watching Katherine and he texted Bill a picture of the two of them and all of a sudden Bill showed up and wanted his baby back.

I heard that Tim and Michael get to have a short fling tomorrow. Tim made it sound like they were going to some fancy resort and doing spa treatments all day. He was super stoked about the Four Hands Massage and the Ice Cream Pedicure. I hope he read the fine print because I'm sure it doesn't include real ice cream.

No matter what Katherine says don't put your finger in her mouth, those teeth are sharp. I think she uses her daddy's knife sharpener on them.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/30/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/30/2016

Steve offered to be Bill's cuddle buddy. Bill decided Steve would be great to nap with.

Now Mary and Tim are making bets on each other.

Roger told me that his employment contract states that he doesn't have to talk to me or another certain group of people.

The Mohawk guys just moved up a notch on my list for bringing in Famous Dave's today.

Toni sure has some women fooled that he's an actual gentleman. I swear he would make a great actor.

Roger's pretty sure that Tim's at home trying to steal and patent his flooring idea.

Roger told Bill that he's not a black woman. Luckily Bill sees the doctor tomorrow and the doctor will need to confirm this.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/29/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/29/2016

Apparently Tim thinks that we should pay for his betting habits especially if it happens during working hours.

Bill told me that I could tell his wife to take a hike today. How medicated was he? You can't talk to women that way.....

Bill insisted to Roger that he needed a 3/4" crack in his door.

Toni's the youngest sales person here and he's losing it. All of a sudden he thinks that somebody killed his fish Henry when he was gone on vacation. His fish died on 4/22/2014 which was a few days after Easter and he was here and not on vacation. At any rate he's offering a reward for information on the person responsible for Henry's death.

I think Toni needs to rethink the reward money considering he's saving for a down payment on a home.

Roger tried his hand at the reward money but convicting Nathaniel wasn't sensible. The kids boogers would have been very nutritious for that fish.

Poor Tim didn't appreciate my comments about him in our Christmas invitation so he didn't come back to the office today.

Who the crap accidentally called John Jones and didn't leave a message? He called back trying to figure out who called him and I don't think that he liked my answer that I just didn't care.

Roger needs to practice his Jewish Ross skills because he's going to be our Holiday Armadillo this year. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/28/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/28/2016

We can't make fun of Bill anymore because apparently he might have some rare disease.

"I'm somebody's b*tch." Steve

Apparently you don't want to leave a toothbrush at Typhinee's home or she'll clean the bathroom with it.

Roger's pissed he didn't get turkey for Thanksgiving. He would like the world to know that Thanksgiving is turkey day and not Cornish game hen day.

Roger's a little on edge today and would like to remind everyone that there is air freshener in the bathroom for a reason so he would like you to use it please.

Is it really considered work when Toni got to see pictures of a million naked Asian chicks on Friday when he went on a little field trip?

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/23/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/23/2016

Either we got a new heating system today or somebody stole the one that we had but we did get a new thermostat (pretty exciting).

Toni told me that he was going to hang himself in our warehouse (obviously he can't take Roger anymore). I did tell him he needed to do it somewhere else for insurance reasons.

Tim sure didn't last long today. He was already asking about time off for the next holiday.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone!

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/22/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/22/2016

Bill claims that he can do the Harold Walk. I really want to know who Harold is. I seriously think it's some trendy new star who apparently has a swagger like John Wayne.
 
I looked up Harold and this was all I came up with.

Bill couldn't come to work today because he was too busy "Harold walking". I'm pretty sure his doctors have all told him to stay off his feet.

Poor Toni's going to have nightmares tonight about stupid installers and Humpback Whales. I saw an article that mentioned there's been a Humpback Whale in the Hudson River lately. I guess Captain Sully shouldn't land his plane there this week.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/21/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/21/2016

Apparently I am Crystal's BFF or her only friend who knows anything about computers. This morning she asked me how to open a certain file on her computer. She then told me that it wasn't anything dirty. Then she asked if she could send the file to me and have me open it and send it back to her, I explained why that wasn't going to work. Then she proceeded to tell me about a psychic who called her about her dad (her dad has been dead for fifteen years.) She thinks the information in the file is from the psychic about her dad.

Bill has a cast on because he would like more sympathy around the office, he claims that he has Achilles tendinitis.

Steve claims that it's Jenny's fault that he's a slob because she cleans up after him.

Bill and Roger think that I'm a dude.

Speaking of dudes, Toni's secret admirer has some dude staying on his couch. 

Tim saw a picture of Bill's horrible looking feet today and he was not impressed. He stopped making fun of him after seeing that. 

*not to be construed as Gossip