09/23/2016

The Daily Chatter*

09/23/2016

Bill is super stoked for the new "MacGyver" tonight.

Roger tried typing "Call me at"  and his phone decided to write "call me attractive".  His phone obviously knows how vein he is along with Carly Simon.

Bill informed Typhinee that she had a stranger walk into her office and it was Sarah.

Tim tried telling Bill that he didn't love his ideas.

Steve thinks that all of the guys around here "are little whores".

Speaking of whores, Mary says she has a date tonight. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/22/2016

The Daily Chatter*

09/22/2016

If anyone needs Tim's passwords I am apparently his password keeper. 

This is going to be hard to believe, Joe left his phone somewhere. 

Roger thinks he needs the next few days off to stalk Brad Pitt.

Tim and Michael were taking bets today as to whether or not I would outlive them.

Tim's daughter sent him a picture of a cute dog and apparently was going to make him guess the conversation.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/21/2016

The Daily Chatter*

09/21/2016

"I'm not sleeping with Matt." Roger

"Roger, you're a big fat liar." Tim

"Did I wake up in the middle of the night and call you again?" Roger to Tim

 "I one time ate part of a Jimmy John's wrapper that tasted better than those chips." Bill about Toni's chips

Roger got jealous today. I told him that I was going to hire Andrew as my life consultant because he knew everything. Roger said that he wanted to apply also.

What I actually need is a combined Lady's Maid/Lady's Companion because I would like this person to: yell at stupid people for me, decide my wardrobe, read and sing to me while I sleep, shave my legs, ramble off funny sayings from "Friends", "Seinfeld", "The Office" and "Arrested Development" and make me laugh. I guess that position has been filled, my husband for some reason will do all of those for me for free.

"Kids are the worst." Toni

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/20/2016

The Daily Chatter*

09/20/2016

"Basically they're my bitches." Steve about his daughters and all of the work that they do for him.

Toni could apparently see the disappointment in his fathers face over the phone when he told him something really stupid recently. Thanks for the hilarious story Toni, we all got a great laugh this morning over your learning curve.

Roger was at the office at the butt crack of dawn this morning and his excuse was that his wife kicked him out. Interestingly because Brad and Angelina just filed for divorce. Is Dot with Brad Pitt now? She sure gets around.

Toni got his mother to admit to him that she and her husband are terrible parents.

I yelled at Toni for stereotyping today. I told him that Roger and I would never do that.

I told Bill this morning that I thought Kevin James' new comedy "Kevin Can Wait" had some pretty funny lines in it but then I read a review that it was "terrible and unimaginative." Well at any rate I liked the terribleness.

Tim told me that he was going to dig up some dirt on Roger but then he never got back to me. Tim, quit saving all the good stuff for yourself. Otherwise I'm going to have to tell everyone about your Saturday night side job and which end of Broadway Street to find you at.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/19/2016

The Daily Chatter*

09/19/2016

"Steve takes a cut of every bet that's placed on him." Bill

Liesl from "The Sound of Music" died over the weekend. Mary's going to be in mourning.

It is truly unbelievable, Tim came back a day early to see all of us beautiful people.

Michael has a battle wound with stitches from the weekend and he blames it all on a chair....I want to know who was biting him?

Roger took a stroll down memory lane today as to why he didn't like a certain rep. I think maybe I'll start a notebook with everyone's name in it and Roger can tell us everyone to hate.

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/16/2016

The Daily Chatter*

09/16/2016

Roger blames me for missing his left turn today. What else does Roger blame me for? I know that he also blames me for having to move out for some reason. It's not my fault that his landlord found a letter written by someone with my same name in her mailbox explaining Roger's mothers horrible mistake to all of humanity.

I called Tim an angel today (to Bill) because he usually does all of his PO's in RFMS correctly. Don't fail me now Tim because I will cut you if you make a mistake.

I thought Bill was full of crap when he told me that the Bangor Naval Base uses dolphins to protect their waters. I pretty much thought his next line would be that they have sharks with laser beams. "Dolphins disable enemy divers by tracking them down and spearing them with needle full of compressed gas. The injected gas expands inside the enemy's body, creating an embolism. This is very fatal. They are also used for detecting and disabling marine mines, and can plant explosives on enemy vessels."

Bill couldn't figure out why his wife was sending him dick pics today...

*not to be construed as Gossip

09/15/2016

The Daily Chatter*

09/15/2016

Toni was telling me today that Nikki hates change more than Tim. I found that very hard to believe.

Another thing that Tim didn't tell me until today is his son and daughter in-law are pregnant again and due in March.

Steve is worse than a girl with gossip.

Apparently Toni's friends aren't the only ones who send dick pics.

Roxanne saw a website this morning for www.nopooponyou.rocks. I'm pretty sure we need something catchy like that too. We obviously need to advertise a high pile soft carpet so that we can get www.kinkysexonaluxuriousfloor.org

*not to be construed as Gossip