05/14/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/14/2018

I had a dream that I let someone put a huge purple unicorn tattoo on my face and then afterwards I realized that I shouldn't have done that.

Bill made a sarcastic remark this morning that someone started a rumor that Ashley 1.0 backed over her dog and that's whey it's leg was hurting. She automatically assumed that I started that rumor and just for the record I did not.

Kellen was trying to tell me how warm it was going to be this week and while I was trying to get away from him I said something about it being a warm weekend and then he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't know how much money he spent this weekend. Was Sarah with him? I didn't ask what he spent money on...

Toni needs to quit meeting his neighbors. If you recall one lady mentioned to him that she caught her son watching porn then this weekend he said one of his neighbors mentioned that he was upset because he didn't get to watch a vaginal birth of his daughter but instead his wife had to have a c-section. Then Toni tells us that his daughter is now 20 and this seems to be a very odd thing to bring up in the middle of a conversation about why his lawn mower wasn't working.

We think two bums were trying to live in Kellen's car today (which was right outside Ashley 1.0's window). Bill scared them off and they left a small portable air compressor which I'm sure they stole out of somebody else's car.

*not to be construed as Gossip