05/31/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/31/2018

Roger thought that by opening the door for me that he was treating me like I was Meghan Markle.

Sarah sure seems to meet a bunch of guys in our warehouse....

Ashley and Sarah better start saving their plastic straws for their coke pleasures because it seems like that's the next thing that will be banned.

Toni says the dead guy (who jumped off the bridge) who he knows the girlfriend of is missing one of his shoes....

Sarah asked Toni why he was smiling and he said he was uncomfortable.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/30/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/30/2018

"I have mental health issues." Roger to Ashley 2.0

I think Steve and I are both going to call in sick tomorrow because apparently we weren't supposed to drink the water around Salem because it causes confusion and at the moment I am confused beyond belief. First Tim told me that he wasn't coming in tomorrow and then Caitlyn Jenner's son is marrying a different Kaitylnn so there will be two Caitlyn's in the same family, how will they be able to tell them apart?

For our other day of holiday weekend hiking we went to Silver Falls and did their trail of ten waterfalls. I thought it was pretty impressive and really neat being able to walk behind so many of their larger waterfalls. I even did Roger trivia along to the trail to give Ryan hints as to what the flowers names were (one was monkey flower-not pictured here).

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/25/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/25/2018

I think I shamed Tim and Michael into coming to work today.

Apparently Michael must have nightmares about me or he's been talking to Roger because somehow he gave me the nickname the Grimm Reaper.

"Hopefully I don't get raped." Toni

If anyone missed the Royal Wedding, I'm sure the Bad Lip Reading video of it is much more entertaining than the real thing.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/29/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/29/2018

Leave it to Roseanne to upset people and get her show cancelled already.

Toni discovered that the Deception Pass bridge is one of the favorite bridges in Washington to commit suicide from.

I know it's going to sound like I followed Steve down to Oregon for the holiday weekend but I don't remember intentionally stalking him. I'm pretty sure my husband would tell you that we were too busy hiking our butts off. These are pictures from our hike on Sunday at Cascade Head which took us through the forest out onto a hillside meadow overlooking the ocean.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/24/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/24/2018

It was great to have Ashley 2.0 back today.

Sarah said she got a weird call from Michael yesterday wanting to know what his "special surprise" was that I wrote about in his birthday card.

I was shocked to see Ashley 1.0 leave her office today. I thought for sure she would have handcuffed herself to something in there so that she never have to leave.

I have bets that we wont's see Michael or Tim tomorrow, they both seem to take very long holiday weekends.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/23/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/23/2018

Happy Birthday Michael!

The big news today is Mary's going to be a grandmother, Stephanie's pregnant. The other really big news is Toni was able to keep it a secret (mostly) which is very very difficult for Toni. 

Toni thinks he's a big dog because that's what he told Bill. I think he needs Tim to bring him back to reality.

Poor Roger everyone refused to see him today.

I have a feeling that Ashley 1.0 will protest and cause riots if we move her out of her office when the new offices are built. She already has a door full of post it notes.

Typhinee yelled at Marty yesterday and told him to take it easy in the warehouse on the forklift because we all still have PTSD. I do have to say it helped, the ceiling stopped moving after she yelled at him.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/22/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/22/2018

Roger sure loves his velvet capes. I think he really envied Liberace's closet.

Toni said he wouldn't get attached to his chickens but I think he already has, he was telling us about his favorite today, the little black one.

I can't believe that I forgot to mention yesterday that I was so happy that my leg still works and Ryan and I finally got to go on a hike to Snoquera Falls over the weekend. The best part was we only saw two people and they left right away so we had the falls all to ourselves.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/21/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/21/2018

Poor Ashley 2.0, Spirit airlines overbooked her flight that she was supposed to take yesterday and she can't get a flight home until Wednesday night.

Bill is experiencing the joys of working in a very noisy sauna today.

Michael, sure the heck didn't want me near him today. He was afraid that I would overhear his conversations about me while my office was in the break room.

Why do people let their kids take their phones and scream into them while they are driving? Seriously, it's a good thing I don't have kids because that little hellion on the other end of the phone would have been in the trunk.

Typhinee threatened to take away my enter button.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/18/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/18/2018

I hope Toni doesn't miss the Royal Wedding because of his Bachelor Party. He's been talking about it all week.

Remember when we thought the guys in Kellen's car would be the excitement of the week, man we were wrong.

Typhinee ended up with a sauna in her office today all thanks to Roger's bathroom habit but on the bright side she probably lost fifteen pounds today. Why does she get all of the good perks?

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/17/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/17/2018

You know how Mary's always wanted a pool at the office and since today is Thursday (and Bill doesn't work on Thursday's) she told Luke to fill Bill's office with water (which is amazingly easy and fast to do). Unfortunately Typhinee stopped most of Mary's fun and started damming up the offices with pad but she did participate in the wet t-shirt contest and then Michael pretty much drained the entire pool by himself because he said it wasn't warm enough for an office pool day. Gosh he's turning into such a fuddy duddy.

It was a big day for Tim, not only was he gone for our short lived pool party but he learned how to use the Swiffer. You know he's got to be thinking about opening his own cleaning and hot dog cart company now. In other words he'll clean you up after you eat one of his hot dogs.

I hope our pictures of the Kent Firemen turn out well so that we can publish our own Spring Flood of 2018 Calendar. I did think that it was kind of odd that Toni insisted on being in almost every picture with these guys.

We found where Roger's been peeing in the corner of his office, men are so gross. So Bill took away his desk.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/16/2018

The Daily Chatter

05/16/2018

"I screamed like any man would." Toni about seeing spiders at his house this morning

As if the spiders aren't bad enough now Toni thinks that ants live in all of the walls of his home.

Apparently taking a picture means taking a photocopy to Mr. Ferguson.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/15/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/15/2018

Sarah claims that she saw Bill and Steve at a strip club. I guess maybe she was getting off her morning shift?

I made a horrible mistake, I told Roger that he was perfect. He wanted to run right home and tell Dot.

Toni wanted to know if I had interrogated someone today because of the way a chair was sitting in my office.

I think Mary was drinking at work today, she said something nice about her moron brother.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/14/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/14/2018

I had a dream that I let someone put a huge purple unicorn tattoo on my face and then afterwards I realized that I shouldn't have done that.

Bill made a sarcastic remark this morning that someone started a rumor that Ashley 1.0 backed over her dog and that's whey it's leg was hurting. She automatically assumed that I started that rumor and just for the record I did not.

Kellen was trying to tell me how warm it was going to be this week and while I was trying to get away from him I said something about it being a warm weekend and then he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't know how much money he spent this weekend. Was Sarah with him? I didn't ask what he spent money on...

Toni needs to quit meeting his neighbors. If you recall one lady mentioned to him that she caught her son watching porn then this weekend he said one of his neighbors mentioned that he was upset because he didn't get to watch a vaginal birth of his daughter but instead his wife had to have a c-section. Then Toni tells us that his daughter is now 20 and this seems to be a very odd thing to bring up in the middle of a conversation about why his lawn mower wasn't working.

We think two bums were trying to live in Kellen's car today (which was right outside Ashley 1.0's window). Bill scared them off and they left a small portable air compressor which I'm sure they stole out of somebody else's car.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/11/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/11/2018

Happy Birthday Mary!

I told Toni that Tim would have shown up today if I told him that we had Blizzard Cake but I didn't tell him because I'm selfish.

According to Toni, Steve likes men.

Typhinee has nothing on the woman in Connecticut who had a 132 pound ovarian cyst removed. This woman was gaining 10 pounds a week.

I think Roxanne was trying to kick start her mothers day weekend, she dropped her kids off at the office and ran out the door. I wonder where she's going for her quiet weekend alone?

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/10/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/10/2018

Tim sure knows how to tick reps off. He first opened his big mouth and said something about him taking bets as to whether or not she would answer her phone and then he mentioned that our sample books haven't been updated. A massive pallet of samples came for him today from that rep.

I just heard today that Roger got a back rub from Kellen at the BBQ (I think only because Roger had the best view of Sarah).

Apparently Ashley 1.0 mistook Faith for Dot because she's never met Dot before.

Tim and Toni offered to rip my stitches out for me today but I'm glad that I waited for the dermatologist to do it.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/09/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/09/2018

Rosali and Hanne are both looking for roommates in case anyone is interested, Tim that doesn't mean you....

I may need to go to Poland to help lick up the massive chocolate spill. So if I'm not here tomorrow that's where I'll be.

Apparently scuba pants and dental floss jeans are going to be the new rave. Don't worry we've already updated our dress code policy so that Toni won't be allowed to wear either of them at work.

I did happen to notice that the pants above are very similar to someone on the People of Walmart website (just in case you liked the idea). 

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/08/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/08/2018

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband!

Toni had a note on his car that said that he got Emma Watson pregnant. Seems like a weird way for him to find out but whatever.

After reading this headline "Woman's runny nose was actually fluid from inside her brain" I will never be the same again when I get a cold. I will be that person going to the ER insisting that it isn't a cold but brain fluid.

Seriously a "Bill & Ted 3"? They really need to stop reuniting certain casts.

I saw this on a post and thought it was for real but it an April Fool's joke from the City of Auburn.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/07/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/07/2018

Toni thinks he and Nikki are going to raise chickens, I think Toni's  trying to be just like Sarah.

I have to say I'm a little disappointed. I haven't seen any pictures from the BBQ and nobody brought me any leftovers...

Apparently now is not a good time to be on the Big Island of Hawaii. Kilauea seems to be getting pretty aggressive.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/02/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/02/2018

Bill's phone auto corrected Don't Forget to Don't Roger...

Toni says he's trying to be less of a dick head.

Typhinee and I finally got to meet Michael's wife today, she really does exist. Apparently Michael needs to be nicer to her and invite her to our company gatherings in the future.

Tomorrows my leg amputation so I'll be cranky for a few days. I may be exaggerating a little bit but I'll have stitches in my thigh so I won't be a happy camper.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/01/2018

The Daily Chatter*

05/01/2018

Tim and Donna bought a mini van over the weekend, I think their plan is to start popping out more kids any day now.

I'm pretty sure Toni thought if he had Mary's dads cremation ashes buckled in the seat that he could drive in the car pool lane. He did mention that the box was making a lot of noise while he was driving.....

Apparently Bill will throw in a riding lawn mower if anyone here buys his Enumclaw house.

Bill pulled a Tim. He went to our old space today, got out of his car started walking to the front door and saw the moss on the sidewalk and started getting mad at Kellen for not pressure washing it off then realized he was at the wrong door. Then on top of it the building maintenance guy saw him.

MSN had pictures of the May Day Riots and rallies around the world and the only one that I would want to participate in is the one in Newtown Lindord, Britain. The men may be wearing feminine hats  and sado masochism gear but they don't seem to be fighting with the police.

*not to be construed as Gossip