October 2021

The Daily Chatter*

 October 2021

The new warehouse guy who got let go of today thought that I was Tim's wife. 

Toni informed all of us that a Spokane tv news station showed 13 seconds of porn on their background screen accidentally but he would be happy to describe the porn to you if you didn't see it. 

Bill's son learned a trick to rock, paper, scissors, he turns his fingers into a gun and says bang and wins every time. I really hope that he has a conceal carry permit. 

Bill told Siri to remind him to order welding rod and Siri interrupted that as Bill needing a wild ride. I have arranged that for him considering I need more gossip. 

Our next door neighbors seem to be taking over our parking lot. Toni's pretty sure that if any of them parked in Tim's spot that there would be a war. Tim should really show up once in awhile and park in his spot so that it doesn't get taken. 

Apparently Bill doesn't like Roger's Bob Newhart references and thinks that Roger's age gap to him shows when he says dumb stuff like this. I'm stumped because Bill normally knows everything about old actors but apparently not Bob Newhart.

Bella completely ate Sarah's plant in the breakroom then on top of it she decided that she wanted Bill's salad too. She's a very healthy eater.  

*not to be construed as Gossip

September 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

September 2021

I don't think I want to know how our installers managed to clog a urinal.

Toni thinks his nephew is a freak because he's so smart. 

"It's probably a good thing you never had kids." Chris L. after I told him that my kitten could do whatever she wanted.

Faith told me that I should accessorize my kitten Bella with matching ribbons so now I change out her collar color to match my outfit. 

Serge thought that my office sign said that I was a kitten killer. How delusional does he think that I am?

Apparently Josh and Toni are both idiots. Josh thought Bolivia was in Germany and Toni thought that Belgium was in Germany. 

Leave it to Toni to say something very gay on his jobsite in an elevator full of guys. 

One of Toni's contractors told him that he could just find his profile picture on Grindr (Gay Dating site).

Leave it to Steve to prove his masculinity to us, he went out hunting after dying in bed for a week from Covid. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

August 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

August 2021

"I wish Ashley would get back to work that little b*tch." Tim because she partied too hard at Watershed

Tim has expensive taste he's never going to be able to retire, he apparently spent $38.00 a shrimp trying to catch his own in the San Juan Islands. 

I told Bill he needed to sign up to be an extra in an upcoming Tom Hanks movie with the British Navy hijacking that happened in early August. Bill wondered if he looked Arab enough for the part though. 

Steve thinks he's part of the Van Gang now. He got tired of seeing motorcycle riders sign to each other so now he's V'ing it at Van drivers.

I'm a little ticked that Faith didn't bring me back any men from Scotland. I'm sure Mary's ticked at her too for not getting the picture of Sam Heughan that she wanted.

Faith has already offered to be Ashley's wedding planner and has suggested next spring. 

Bill decided to get shingles because he wanted all of us to tell him how young he is to be experiencing that, even though Toni had it in his twenties. 

This is my new kitty who still doesn't have a name because everybody wants me to name her Knight Rider but Mary and I think she needs a feminine name.

 

*not to be construed as Gossip

July 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

July 2021

"Don't let your three year old eat potato chips off of the Sea Tac airport floor." Bill's advice for the month

Ashley finally let us meet John this month.

Dale came in and asked me if I was ok because he noticed that I had lost weight since the last time I saw him.  It was the most awkward conversation but luckily Bill overheard the whole thing so that we could crack up afterwards. Bill asked me if Dale apologized for calling me skinny.

Toni thought a woman in Portland was normal until he saw a sticker saying what she really was BFJMC. 

"Roger's the only guy who acts hung over and doesn't drink." Bill

Toni's still got it. Some college girl hit on him from her car driving by. 

"I'm just being Tim's little courier bitch." Toni

Mary got a pedicure and the guy kissed her feet because he thought that she was a nice woman. 

Michael told Bill that he really needed to watch the tones that that he uses with women. 

Tim's threatening to retire again. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

June 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

June 2021

Bill says he has issues with his dad saying that he's claustrophobic and I said I have issues with my dad seeing UFO's and military helicopters and I kind of felt like I won that family disfunction award. 

If Mary ever wonders why she never gets to go on vacation it's because she complains about everything. Seriously why would you complain about an old AC unit sitting underneath a sink in your room. She should have plugged it in and found out if it worked even a little bit and brought it home to me so that I can survive the heat the next time around. 

Does Bill not look at IMDB before watching horrible movies? If it's rated a 2.9 I would begin to question whether or not that two hours of my life was worth that risk. Needless to say he didn't like the movie "Breach". 

Toni made everyone jealous this month, he got to go into Howard Schultz's office. 

"You grab the wrong woman's a$$ one time and my wife schedules an eye appointment for me." Bill

"I don't even have ovaries and they're burning." Steve after seeing Toni's son

I was proud of Toni, he at least warned his customer that he was wearing Crocs before he went to the jobsite. I just figured his customer would have thought it was because of Pride month. 

"Steve has nuts, that will make my wife happy" Bill

Bill now thinks I hate all kids just because I told a guy on Father's Day that I didn't want to date him because he has kids. 

Faith thinks that somebody is letting the air out of her tires at her apartment complex. I hope she gets even with whoever it is. 

Just a few weather blunders that I saw recently but it sure felt like it was that hot and I'm sure Wenatchee thought so too.  

*not to be construed as Gossip

May 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

May 2021

"We're a bunch of sick f**ks" Bill

Apparently Mary and Typhinee got a Happy Mother's Day text from Jason. 

Tim is now threatening Toni with his Coronastick to do his change orders.

Tim told me that I needed to eat a pizza. 

"On the spectrum or maybe just the influence of being raised by a single parent."...Some lady rudely said about a young kid who was waving at Toni. 

Toni says he's not going to be friends with Gene Simmons who apparently bought a place next to Mary's beach house. 

Faith can't wait to see a drunk Scotsman. 

"Ducks are so rapey." Toni

Toni and Nikki are expecting a girl. 

Josh got married this month and us office people weren't invited but the guys took a good picture without us. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

April 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

April 2021

Bill told me that I should buy some ankle bracelets to be hip again so now I'm on the search for a whole bunch of those. 

Toni's parents better watch out on Friday's because Bill wants to pawn his kids off on them too.

Toni's son learned a new word "shit". 

Ashley won concert tickets by calling into a radio station. Bill and I made fun of her because we didn't know that was still a real thing, we definitely told her that was old school. She got to talk to Mary's celebrity friend though. Bill thinks that it's the most impressive thing that Ashley has done since she's been here though. If I were her I would definitely be offended. 

"I don't want to die in crocs" Toni

"My office is going through a tunnel, I can't hear you right now" Bill to a customer

According to Ashley the Mall of America is in Canada. 

I'm pretty sure Ashley has also been labeled a sexual predator by Toni, she claims that she was going to tell him nice Crocs and it came out cocks. 

Bill was super excited for me to tell Sarah about the "Downton Abbey 2" movie coming out in December. I guess that's going to have to be his after work event when it comes out. 

"I was floor boy for a long time." Steve

Michael likes to go by Madisen now, people have been relabeling his packages with his new name. 

*not to be construed as Gossip