Archived 02-27-2013

 

Toni had to ask Bill what a nooner was yesterday. I figured he was just playing stupid to get more information out of Bill but then I sent him the definition and he apparently has sex with his “Kosher food” everyday at lunch so he still doesn’t understand what Bill was doing yesterday.

 

Poor Tim’s so screwed up from coming back from vacation on a Tuesday.

 

Howard says that Vance doesn’t know how to park. I thought being the parking police was Steve’s job.

 

Roger wants all of us to baby him again because he thinks he’s catching a cold now.

 

 

I told Bill that I might be dying because my hands are cold. If I die Ryan’s going to think it was only to get out of my eye doctors appointment this weekend.

 

Tim’s already using softball as an excuse to leave the office early.

 

“Don’t ask too many questions.” Bill to Toni  Then Bill proceeded to tell Toni about the last guy who asked too many questions.

 

Toni may die if he doesn’t find his watch.

 

I’m pretty sure Toni said his nickname somewhere was one ball. I’m hoping that I heard him wrong.

Archived 02-28-2013

 

 

2/28/2013

 

Rick and Roger have apparently been together because Rick seems to be sick too.

 

Marty told me he’s been waiting for me his whole life, along with any other woman he sees.

 

I asked Bill who he seduced last night with hot chocolate but he didn’t respond. Then Toni noticed that everything on his desk had been pushed off so we know where Bill was with his woman friend.

 

Matt and Steve were teaching Roger new words today. Dot better watch out!

 

Matt and Steve also revealed that they slept together once and it wasn’t innocent because they were both naked.

 

Mary thinks 5 people can sleep on her desk.

 

Tim called Roger one of the ladies this morning.

 

 Turns out Bill sent Toni a picture of him doing it on his desk late last night.

 

Bill’s cleaner writes his name inside of his clothes which I find creepy.

 

I found Bill some “apartment pants” that have a built in keyboard.

 

Bill informed Mary that The Pony Keg is more of a dive than The Spot so of course this intrigued Mary in her search to find the worst bar dive ever.

 

Roger claims he forgets who’s mad at him.

 

Poor Toni’s going to be heartbroken that Christian Slate is now engaged.

 

Tim thought I should be mad at him.

 

Roger’s denying the “whole f*cking thing” about the Amish porn conversation that apparently didn’t happen at lunch.

 

Rick thinks he’s going to die, convenient since I thought I was going to die yesterday. I think he’s trying to one up me. I told him to hire Roger to make his tombstone because he just came up with a great one for somebody else. Then he suggested Toni for making his casket.

 

Bill and Roger were arguing over somebody’s large rack today at lunch.

 

Apparently Tim thinks I’m emotionally unstable probably because I forgot to take my Claritin today.

 

Roger wants me to try being nicer to Toni.

 

Roger accused Matt to his face of being high all of the time.

 

Mary likes hairy chests but just doesn’t want to see it coming out a guy’s shirt.

 

Toni says he’s been itching. I hope Roger didn’t catch his crabs today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Archived 03-01-2013

 

 3/1/2013

 

Bill’s car must be at the detailing shop because he has a rental. I’m assuming he got it on in there the other night after doing it on Toni’s desk and who knows where else.

 

Steve was upset that Toni wasn’t here today to make him coffee.

 

I think Toni’s girlfriend next door is cheating on him; she was trying to set the mood this morning with music and without Toni there.

 

Steve had a weird dream about someone sleeping with Bill’s sister and then he had to tell Bill all about it.

 

Steve says Toni’s desk is awesome for sex because it has some spring to it and it does all the work for you. So apparently everyone likes Toni’s desk.

 

Steve’s not friends with Canadian’s.

 

Tim and Rick think the backroom deserves some more attention. I think they want strippers and pole dancers back there. We don’t have a pole installed yet but I heard Mary tell someone yesterday that she doesn’t need a pole.

 

I think Tim is related and knows everyone.

 

Roger thinks I’m a buzz kill. Well I think Roger’s a jerk but I should probably refer to him as a tosser or a bloke since he’s going to London soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

October 2021

The Daily Chatter*

 October 2021

The new warehouse guy who got let go of today thought that I was Tim's wife. 

Toni informed all of us that a Spokane tv news station showed 13 seconds of porn on their background screen accidentally but he would be happy to describe the porn to you if you didn't see it. 

Bill's son learned a trick to rock, paper, scissors, he turns his fingers into a gun and says bang and wins every time. I really hope that he has a conceal carry permit. 

Bill told Siri to remind him to order welding rod and Siri interrupted that as Bill needing a wild ride. I have arranged that for him considering I need more gossip. 

Our next door neighbors seem to be taking over our parking lot. Toni's pretty sure that if any of them parked in Tim's spot that there would be a war. Tim should really show up once in awhile and park in his spot so that it doesn't get taken. 

Apparently Bill doesn't like Roger's Bob Newhart references and thinks that Roger's age gap to him shows when he says dumb stuff like this. I'm stumped because Bill normally knows everything about old actors but apparently not Bob Newhart.

Bella completely ate Sarah's plant in the breakroom then on top of it she decided that she wanted Bill's salad too. She's a very healthy eater.  

*not to be construed as Gossip

September 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

September 2021

I don't think I want to know how our installers managed to clog a urinal.

Toni thinks his nephew is a freak because he's so smart. 

"It's probably a good thing you never had kids." Chris L. after I told him that my kitten could do whatever she wanted.

Faith told me that I should accessorize my kitten Bella with matching ribbons so now I change out her collar color to match my outfit. 

Serge thought that my office sign said that I was a kitten killer. How delusional does he think that I am?

Apparently Josh and Toni are both idiots. Josh thought Bolivia was in Germany and Toni thought that Belgium was in Germany. 

Leave it to Toni to say something very gay on his jobsite in an elevator full of guys. 

One of Toni's contractors told him that he could just find his profile picture on Grindr (Gay Dating site).

Leave it to Steve to prove his masculinity to us, he went out hunting after dying in bed for a week from Covid. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

August 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

August 2021

"I wish Ashley would get back to work that little b*tch." Tim because she partied too hard at Watershed

Tim has expensive taste he's never going to be able to retire, he apparently spent $38.00 a shrimp trying to catch his own in the San Juan Islands. 

I told Bill he needed to sign up to be an extra in an upcoming Tom Hanks movie with the British Navy hijacking that happened in early August. Bill wondered if he looked Arab enough for the part though. 

Steve thinks he's part of the Van Gang now. He got tired of seeing motorcycle riders sign to each other so now he's V'ing it at Van drivers.

I'm a little ticked that Faith didn't bring me back any men from Scotland. I'm sure Mary's ticked at her too for not getting the picture of Sam Heughan that she wanted.

Faith has already offered to be Ashley's wedding planner and has suggested next spring. 

Bill decided to get shingles because he wanted all of us to tell him how young he is to be experiencing that, even though Toni had it in his twenties. 

This is my new kitty who still doesn't have a name because everybody wants me to name her Knight Rider but Mary and I think she needs a feminine name.

 

*not to be construed as Gossip

July 2021

 The Daily Chatter*

July 2021

"Don't let your three year old eat potato chips off of the Sea Tac airport floor." Bill's advice for the month

Ashley finally let us meet John this month.

Dale came in and asked me if I was ok because he noticed that I had lost weight since the last time I saw him.  It was the most awkward conversation but luckily Bill overheard the whole thing so that we could crack up afterwards. Bill asked me if Dale apologized for calling me skinny.

Toni thought a woman in Portland was normal until he saw a sticker saying what she really was BFJMC. 

"Roger's the only guy who acts hung over and doesn't drink." Bill

Toni's still got it. Some college girl hit on him from her car driving by. 

"I'm just being Tim's little courier bitch." Toni

Mary got a pedicure and the guy kissed her feet because he thought that she was a nice woman. 

Michael told Bill that he really needed to watch the tones that that he uses with women. 

Tim's threatening to retire again. 

*not to be construed as Gossip