11/18/2016

 The Daily Chatter*

11/18/2016

 
"It's like getting cocaine for Christmas. My dad was heavily into coke." Roger reminiscent of Christmas because of our new holiday hand soap in the bathroom

A vendor asked Toni for his email today to send him something and Toni told the gal that he doesn't use email or have a phone. He then asked for her to send it snail mail and I don't think she understood.

Michael said that Katherine was finally looking human (whatever that was supposed to mean). 

Michael couldn't resist petting my furry cape today. Usually Tim's the one who can't resist but he was off his game today. He was probably just looking forward to being out on a boat alone and cuddling with Toni tomorrow.

We had a baby day care today which ended up being more of a baby fight club. Katherine really got her legs into it and she tried choking Mali with her own necklace. To top it off Mary wasn't here to interfere. 

 
Toni was super stoked to put on a Broadway musical of "Frozen" for Steve's three year old daughter today. Somehow they even got around to building a fort, I really thought that was too manly of a thing for Toni to do but I think he got excited about decorating it.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/17/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/17/2016

Toni was upset the other day because somebody wanted to make stuffing for his Friendsgiving and he felt like that was his thing. Ryan mentioned today that stuffing is a very personal thing and he totally understands where Toni is coming from. In fact he mentioned that they are kindred spirits.

"My life is just a mess." Roger

I made the mistake of telling Toni that some woman had a guys name and I couldn't remember what it was so he started reciting all of his lovers names trying to make me remember.

Toni tried to reassure himself today by telling himself out loud that he was strong (while picking up a hardwood sample).

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/16/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/16/2016

Tim was sure demanding today. Don't worry I stood my ground and now I have a new enemy. He's not going to tell me what to do without buying me chocolate first.

I apparently do need to rethink this enemy thing because Tim was talking about taking all of us to Tahiti, he was feeling super rich. His wife must of let him have some money.

I'll be nice to Tim again if he books our trip tomorrow. If not, he's never going to get the paperwork that he wants.

Tim, a trip to virtual Tahiti doesn't count.

In weird news, China banned web searches for "Fatty Kim the Third" but thank goodness that doesn't apply to us.

In other weird news Twitter thought I should follow a dude named SuperBrownBum, TopShelfPremium and some panty hose company. I don't even do Twitter but it thinks I'm a slutty alcoholic. I swear Roger must be spreading lies about me to all of the people at Twitter or they know about all of my DUI's.

 *not to be construed as Gossip

11/15/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/15/2016

Bill told his wife today that he buys "Hustler" magazine just for science.

Roger found my husband at Starbucks last night with a bunch of women. 

"I think you underestimate my skills." Kellen to Bill    I'm pretty sure Bill doesn't really think about his sweet skills.

 Steve wanted to steal my job today.

"Here I am the boss instigating trouble." Bill to Steve

The picture below should intrigue Toni to want to watch this video, it's pretty clever.
https://www.facebook.com/viralthread/videos/599389896900364/

Somebody told me that I was perfect today. Obviously this person hasn't talked to Roger.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/14/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/14/2016

Bill threatened to fire Toni because he doesn't like to put celery in his homemade stuffing.

I think my marriage is over, my husband was receiving sexts from a drunk girl named Jennifer late on Friday night.

Tim claims that Toni started f%@#$ing with him first thing this morning. I swear that Toni's turned all of our guys gay.

Toni wanted me to pick the restaurant for Nikki's birthday dinner tonight so that he could blame everything on me if it wasn't good. I didn't want to fall into his trap so I told him to be a man and he started to cry.

Somebody told Mary that she was the only one left at the office....Typhinee and I were still there. Just because Toni leaves doesn't mean the rest of us don't count.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/11/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/11/2016

 Both Robert Vaughn (played in the original "Magnificent Seven") and Leonard Cohen (the singer song writer) just died.

Don't call Tim and tell him you're ready to jump to your death because of the election results. Apparently he'll tell you to jump especially if he's in the middle of going to dinner. 

Toni apparently has really fun lunches with his clients.

How did I get so lucky today? It must be a Veteran's Day Miracle. Usually Crystal calls on Fridays for all of the stupidest reasons.

*not to be construed as Gossip

11/10/2016

The Daily Chatter*

11/10/2016

Roger was in an accident today, he's ok but he would like special attention anyways. He thinks a distraught Democrat ran into him. If we need to take him to the ER for a concussion please remember the spray bottle of water and tell him he's going to Chuck E. Cheese, just a couple little things that I learned from "The Office".

On this day in 1969 "Sesame Street" first aired.

Toni offered his "services" today to a man via text for his really large gold gun.

*not to be construed as Gossip