03/31/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/31/2020

We finally have some competition going with the only guys who have been showing up to the office. Bill and Tim seem to be trying to outsell each other this week and so far they're doing great.

Toni was obviously scared that Bill and I would only laugh at him and not let him in the front door for forgetting his keys because he decided not to knock and to go around to the back instead.

Steve was really trying to impress all three of us today, he kept banging on things in the warehouse to pretend like he was working.

I read today that some wild goats took over a town in Wales because the town is on lock down. I would prefer that something adorable and fuzzy that I can wear around my neck comes and invades our town.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/30/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/30/2020

It was a big day for me Costco business delivery delivered toilet paper.

Bill and Steve were mentioning that Tim has nobody left in his office because he uses his speaker phone and scared everybody away.

Bill was concerned today mentioning that Ashley is a millennial yet she had a major user error last week when she said she couldn't get her mouse to work because she plugged the USB back into the mouse.

"I don't know how much money this guy has but I'm trying to find out." Tim about one of his customers

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/26/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/26/2020

Sarah's son told her that it was fine to get together with other people as long as it was under two people. Needless to say Sarah realized he needed school desperately and went and picked up a laptop at the school for him.

"I'm not going to let some other flooring company eat my f*%king lunch." Tim not giving in over Inslee's speech today

I was joking with Ryan last night that now would be a good time to travel to China considering they just got out of their two month lock down but now they closed their border to foreign travelers, what gives? Obviously Google was spying on me again and told them my plans.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/25/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/25/2020

Bill asked to use my lighter this morning and I told him that I only use it for meth.

"I know "The Game of Thrones" people better than I know the royal family." Bill to Mary

Apparently the pad wasn't going to fit in the van unless Matt broke the window out of it so that's why we have one Transit without a back window at the moment.

I told my husband that the world is ending because Prince Charles has tested positive for coronavirus.

Tim pretended to be a designer today since Mary wasn't here.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/24/2019

The Daily Chatter*

03/24/2019

"If anybody can spin sh*t, it's me." Bill to Tim   I'm probably quoting this wrong and will fired for it tomorrow.

Toni was still trying to tell Bill that the heat was broken in his office because it was only 48 degrees.

Bill claims that I did the meanest thing to him that I've ever done. He asked for some employee pictures and I "accidentally" had to send him the one of Jason with the reflections of himself in his sunglasses. Bill then burned his computer monitors after that.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/23/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/23/2020

"You're more reasonable than Tim." Bill to Michael

Bill wanted to know who my new drug dealer was today....it was Veronica but I was giving her a package so I think I'm her dealer but in my defense I don't know what was in it.

I forgot to have my own party last Friday to mark the one month anniversary of Jason being "layed off" so that party will need to be rescheduled.

If Inslee's speech tonight is anything about blaming people for not social distancing then Ashley is to blame, she was at Alki Beach this weekend along with a bunch of other people.

*not to be construed as gossip

03/19/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/19/2020

Happy Birthday Ashley!

Tim brought in his six foot stick today to fight all of us off to his new corona virus comfort zone.

Some of us really want to know what Ashley told Marty at the Christmas Party because he bought her roses for her birthday and yes I'm jealous.

The annex offices have been renamed, two and a half men.

Ashley is going to avoid coming into work on Friday's from now on since that seems to be the day when things happen around here.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/18/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/18/2020

Bill and Roger are working on a plastic washable toilet paper alternative.

Steve thinks we're just hiring people off the streets because he saw Roxanne sitting at Justine's old desk.

Michael claims that he broke his phone and that none of the stores are open to get a new one but somehow he still manages to call and bother us.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/17/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/17/2020

Sarah's mad at all of us for not dressing appropriately for St Patrick's Day since it is her Irish holiday.

Toni thought that his office was colder than the rest of the warehouse this morning.

Steve claims that he's been selling off our office T.P. so if we run out it's all his fault.

Toni nicknamed his printer piece of sh*t which is appropriate since that was somebody else's nickname who had the office before him.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/16/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/16/2020

Michael says he has stopped licking toilets for the time being because of the threat of the virus.

I told Sarah that I'm mad that Faith is going to end up with a larger office than me. I still think that should have been Michael's office since he really wanted a pool table in his office.

Howard made an appearance today.

I think Tim and Michael are going to fight over who really got their monthly meeting cancelled.

*not to be construed as Gossip 

03/12/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/12/2020

Tim thought that he was the oldest person here until I corrected him and told him that Michael was and then he tried arguing with me.

According to Sarah her son thinks the Corona virus is the best thing ever because he gets to miss 4-6 weeks of school and doesn't need to make up the time since it's a state of emergency.

Faith needs to take a lesson from some of us on how to become more passive aggressive. She was telling Mary a story this morning about how she treated a nasty customer and she's way way way too nice.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/11/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/11/2020

Bill thinks that our rain comes from China and he's freaked because he got a raindrop in his eye.

Sarah is freaking mad at Tim because he made her go to a meeting this morning at 7am at the Golden Steer that had been cancelled.

"That is one shallow gene pool." Bill about a real estate company picture I showed him of all good looking guys

I didn't realize that everyone was so grumpy because we were out of coffee at the office, we are now restocked so there are no excuses now. 

Today was a big day, Mary got her new stitch fix box. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/10/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/10/2020

Steve told Ashley that she needed to take her work with her because that's what he always does when he goes on vacation.

Bill still has quite the sales pitch. I really thought he lost it when he quit telling people that his last name was spelled with two n's and two l's and too good looking. Today he figured out a way to make Motel 8 way more appealing than a nicer hotel.

Toni and I were making fun of Tim at the breakfast table today, he was the only one eating like a kid, we were shocked he didn't order his hot cocoa there too.

I think Steve forgot about his lead certification class on purpose because he's not that dumb.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/09/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/09/2020

Tim thinks that the mini marshmallows are a disappointment in his hot cocoa because they melt and disappear. This coming from the man who begged me for the hot cocoa with the mini marshallows.

Bill told me that I have a messed up sense of humor just like him.

Toni claimed he looked up a carpet style called vibrant and it pulled up a page of men in very vibrant speedo's....

Steve's tired of everyone thinking that he's grumpy today.

Toni shared this gem with most of us today.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/06/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/06/2020

Steve remembers the exact Starbucks that he had to go to when he had human feces thrown at him and his truck..Needless to say he's having deja vu because we're doing work at that store again.

Roger told me that he would be disappointed if I died from the corona virus but not devastated. I thought my relationship with him was improving until I heard this.

It sounds like Tim is really trying to turn Toni into a boatsman.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/05/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/05/2020

Tim's at least thankful for one thing that Jason did, he made Bill and Mary buy him a comfortable chair that Toni gave to Tim.

Another miracle happened today and it's not even Friday, Bill's printer healed itself.

Bill's a little concerned, Roxanne is asking for a good divorce lawyer obviously "for a friend" but she did use the quotes when she asked him.

*not to be concerned as Gossip

03/04/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/04/2020

Toni thinks that it's possible that his boat is possibly hot because the id numbers seem to be missing.

Tim's now taking all of the credit for the hand sanitizer with the company logo on it. Sarah just can't win.

Toni thinks Mary's son is hot. Toni asked Bill about it and Bill said he's too old to play that game because he remembers Mary's son as a kid (and also Steve's kid when he went to work with him that one day).

Somebody took Sarah's creamer today so I'm not the only crazy upset yelling bitch around here today.

Tim told people that he thought Sarah was crazy to buy the hand sanitizer but now she's a genius in his eyes.

"I learned that I probably shouldn't make out with my grandma if I get sick." Toni

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/03/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/03/2020

Bill had to remind Toni that Jason was no longer here. I'm pretty sure Toni knows that because of where he's sitting now.

Michael's back and his arm harness seems to have a convenient spot to hold a beer.

"I used to work here for my kids but now I'm doing it for the projector." Bill...sorry Roxanne he didn't bother to mention you, in Bill's defense it's state of the art.

Toni found a new reason to hate Jason...his office that he had to move to which is way too cold.

For our next day on the Big Island we went to Volcanoes National Park and it was a little disappointing this time because there wasn't much Kilauea activity going on and on top of it we thought we would drive down to this cool arch that we've seen before by the ocean and the viewing platform had been roped off but we didn't notice that until we had walked over a mile one direction but again no complaints because we were still in beautiful Hawaii.

*not to be construed as Gossip

03/02/2020

The Daily Chatter*

03/02/2020

Today's Chatter seems to be all about Toni all because he bought a boat over the weekend.

"Have you not known me for the last umpteen years, you should know I don't let anything go." Toni and he's apparently still mad at his third grade teacher

Toni doesn't like his new desk, he would like it up on cinder blocks so that his chair will fit under it. I offered him one of Jason's phone books to sit on and he sort of liked that idea.

Our second day on the Big Island was one of my favorites even though we ended up on the wrong side of the canyon that we were going to hike on. We ended up skipping the hike because it wasn't sunny out and then we went to one of my favorite black sand beaches which has one of the most amazing lagoons that I've ever been to and there is always an abundance of turtles.

*not to be construed as Gossip