05/31/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/31/2019

Happy Birthday to me one day early and thank-you everybody for spoiling me today. I am a little disappointed that I didn't get a "Love Ya Babe" from Michael in my card though. 

Bill tried telling Jason that he used to be in the closet... just thought Roxanne might want to know about that.

Howard came in yesterday and said that he gets to call on Roger now. He claims that Roger is the same old Roger. Does this mean that he didn't have to take a sensitivity classes when he was hired on?

Leave it to Tim to send me a picture of his food from his boat. I'm just hoping that the piece of meat isn't the otter that I saw in Roche Harbor last weekend.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/30/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/30/2019

Toni said that we all have to black out for our birthdays.

"What's this bar on your computer that is reading my face?" Toni to Bill

I think people around here are scared as to what kind of birthday theme they will end up with and they keep trying to give me ideas. I'm pretty sure this is why Tim left before his birthday, he didn't want to deal with my BS.

I warned Sarah to keep an eye on Ashley around all of the old men at their meeting tonight...

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/29/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/29/2019

Michael, even though you're out of the office being a man servant for your recovering wife, I have taken the liberty of signing all of the birthday cards that come my way for you. Just one less thing for you to stress about.

Bill mentioned to me that one of our vendor reps seemed nervous around him. I told him it was because he directed the guy to go to Ashley's office and obviously he's heard the rumors.

Bill learned a very valuable lesson today, don't tell people especially lawyers that you have cameras in the bathroom, they don't seem to laugh or think it's funny.

Roxanne is on a trip without Bill and she lost her luggage. Bill said that he's super proud of her but that she's not allowed to travel without him anymore.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/28/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/28/2019

According to Toni flooring people are disgusting. He went to lunch today and some other guys who worked in the flooring industry were talking behind him about hot seventeen year olds and Toni for some reason didn't think that was appropriate (maybe because they were talking about women).

I wonder how Michael's doing on day one of his wife's surgery. I think he's going to start begging us to let him come back to work tomorrow.

As some of you know I got to visit Friday Harbor on San Juan Island over the holiday weekend and it was just as beautiful as I remembered it to be. I think it's been over ten years since Ryan and I have been there, I thought it was a very scenic island with the most adorable baby foxes that I've ever seen. I'm a little disappointed that my husband wouldn't let me take one home with us because I could have left it here to attack our nightly dumpster visitors. 

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/24/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/24/2019

Why is it that Tim knows more gossip around here than I do?

Last week Toni asked me if I was working Memorial Day, if I would have said yes I'm inclined to think that he also would have worked.

Good grief Michael has already worn out his wife's hip. She goes in for a replacement on Tuesday.

"Someone's got to be eye candy." Bill about Toni

Bill found out in Utah that firemen will do birthday parties. Ashley and I are currently looking to see if the ones in our area do the same.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/23/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/23/2019

Happy Birthday to Michael and good riddance to Tim for three months!

Michael did a stellar job on the food for Tim's party and Toni's salad was delicious.

I think I got in trouble with Bud today because I told Toni not to make any more cookies because we had pastries.

I'm pretty sure Steve brought us in his piece of crap toaster oven because Toni tried the broil feature on  bread today and the bread didn't change color and I'm also pretty sure that Typh's pizza was still in there from a week ago and it still wasn't warm.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/22/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/22/2019

Faith thinks I look like I should be on a tropical beach today so she suggested that we should go to Hawaii, I love the way this woman thinks.

Toni yelled at me the other day for not having any of his cookies but luckily Bud told him to make more.

I couldn't believe it but Tim came in today after he told me yesterday that he was going to be gone today and the rest of the summer.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/21/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/21/2019

Michael told me that I need to get out more often because I didn't know that chili with white rice was a thing.

Poor Sarah got her first speeding ticket the other day with her son in the car.

It's all Sarah's fault that Tim left early today. He said that she had everything under control and that he could take tomorrow off too.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/20/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/20/2019

"I can't get rid of him anyway because he married into the family." Bill about Toni

Typh thinks that I wear hooker heels.

Nikki read one of Toni's texts yesterday and told him that he was disgusting. Toni thinks that he was only a 2.5 out of 10 on his disgusting meter so he's not really sure what the problem was.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/17/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/17/2019

I may have crossed the line with Ashley yesterday, I told her that I loved her because she told me that I was looking thin.

Steve really wanted to move the Mazda lady's car today with the forklift. I told him that Bill would be so proud but also sad that he missed seeing it.

Michael told me that I had the Angelina Jolie stance going on today, it was nice of him to notice.

Leave it to Typh to break the bathroom sink today.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/16/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/16/2019

Steve's telling everyone that he fired Bill since he's sitting at his desk.

I freaking spilled coffee on myself and didn't notice the large part where I outlined one of my boobs with coffee today.

Heather called me and told me that her flight coming home didn't exist. Apparently she doesn't want to work tomorrow but I told her to go to the correct airline counter and they would take care of her.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/15/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/15/2019

Tim laughed last night when somebody told him what to tell me do for them, he knew that wasn't about to happen.

Steve told me that I get the night security shift tonight. I would definitely take the G.B. approach and react and ask questions much later. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to lift all of the dead bodies into the dumpster though, considering we had several visitors last night.

Steve and Toni seem to really have a fascination for each others butts.

Tim wasn't sure how to snort the cocaine off the break room table this afternoon even though he said it reminded him of his college days.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/14/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/14/2019

"I can't write when you're licking my brain." Toni to Larry

Bill decided that he can't leave me in charge because I would kill everyone.

We've had an exciting day. Jason got a fabulous text from an employee who he fired today calling him a piece of sh*t. Now Steve will only call Jason a piece of sh*t so that is his new nickname officially.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/13/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/13/2019

Heather's son told her he didn't want to come to our BBQ because there were going to be too many titties, he's obviously heard about Mary's wild parties.

Matt S. still looks the same, tall, skinny and too much hair on his face.

I got to meet my long lost lover Larry at our BBQ. Now my husband wants to know why I had phone sex with the man.

Heather's husband apparently has a perfectly round mouth according to her and her hickeys.

The Pinnacle guys tried calling me Rachel since they knew how much I love that.

Bryan doesn't need tattoos because he has some very proud life marks.

Michael wants some girl time to get his nails done.

Steve and Toni turned themselves into women and surprisingly Steve was the prettier one.

"I guess I should get some VD from you." Bill to Howard

Tim just told me that his last day before his very long boat trip is next Thursday.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/09/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/09/2019

Toni's neighbor told him it would be gay of him to buy a Honda CRV and the man sells Honda cars for a living.

Bill told Ashley that he was concerned about her shaky hand issue. Now she's researching it on Web MD and thinks that she's dying. He also informed her that he made Steve go to the doctors three times about the same issue.

"I don't know what kind of car he drives so you won't know who he is." Bill to Toni

Mazda chick from next door was driving a van today and it was not a Mazda and it was very confusing but she still parked in front of our office.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/08/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/08/2019

Happy Birthday to my husband and to Toni's dog Larry.

I definitely scared the crap out of Travis this morning and apparently he laughs when he's nervous.

Bill says that his son eats rocks. He would like someone to tell him how this is his wife's fault.

"Can you please yell at him (Steve) like you yell at me." Bill to me

It sounds like Sarah warned the new guy not to let Typhinee see him cry.

"Michael is just child's play compared to me." Tim about wanting to use the forklift on the ding butt's car from next door.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/07/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/07/2019

The ding butt blonde from next door really ticked Bill off today, she parked right next to our front door.

Steve needs an extension on his door handle because Typh keeps making fun of him.

Bill thinks that Faith is trying to outdo us with telling us that she's going on her walks. Bill thinks that we should respond with "we're still sitting on our asses."

Bill apparently thinks it's disgusting when I pop my neck at my desk. Yet it's ok for Toni to lay on his floor, he's definitely sexist.

Steve thinks that he's trans-slender, fat but identifies as skinny.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/06/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/06/2019

Tim tried telling me that my hair was looking redder today. Seriously is he trying to tell me that I look like a serial killer because I know what he thinks about women with red hair.

As of today Roger may come to our BBQ on Friday.

Heather was very upset with me all Friday night because she thought I was withholding The Daily Chatter from her. Needless to say she was probably disappointed when she got it.

I was shocked to hear that even as a kid Tim didn't like Spam. He mentioned that he threw it up and his mother just figured that he was seasick.

I walked into Toni's office and Larry was sitting in Toni's chair, it was the most adorable thing ever.

Ryan and I started off our spring hiking with one of my favorite trails yesterday at Snoquera Falls and surprisingly we ran into Matt on our way down.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/03/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/03/2019

Steve accused me of calling me fat recently all because I told him he needed the larger size of company jacket.

I love it that Faith openly admits to people that she loves it when I get feisty.

Tim and Michael better hurry back to work, Sarah has incorporated a few pink items into their office.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/02/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/02/2019

"I feel like I just got caught smoking pot in my bedroom." Bill about me yelling at him to not use chemicals in the office

Toni's so sweet he claims that there can only be one April.

Bill seems to be complaining about stupid blondes a lot today.

Faith thinks that I'm mad at her but I keep telling her that if I'm mad at her she'll definitely know it.

Mary thinks that there's something wrong with Typh because she picked out feminine decor for her office.

Mary claims that she doesn't watch porn but she does knows lots of interesting facts about Ron Jeremy.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/01/2019

The Daily Chatter*

05/01/2019

"I can't even litter without getting caught." Steve

The building inspector liked Typh's new light switch cover of Ron Jeremy but she has to change it.

Typhinee thinks that I'm racist now that I referenced a "Better Off Ted" episode.

Steve's upset that he didn't get flowers again and that we make him sit in a women's restroom all day long.

Bill says that his wife hasn't texted him back yet so he's pretty sure she found somebody else.

Tim went to lunch with Roger yesterday and I think Tim probably asked Roger to go to Alaska with him since Roger doesn't know that Tim's boat has holes in it.

The Whatever Board of the Day

*not to be construed as Gossip