04/30/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/30/2018

Steve claims he turns into an a$$hole with brown liquor.

Speaking of liquor, I wonder how Ashley 1.0 is doing?

"I'm still stupid and I'm almost 30." Toni

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/27/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/27/2018

Some moron contractor in a roundabout way tried telling Toni that Roger was one of the owners of the company.

ABBA's going to make a comeback, they have new songs coming out.

Ashley 1.0 told us to pray for her liver this weekend. More than likely she'll get arrested trying to bring a car load of liquor onto a ferry and they'll think it's terrorism.

I think I scared Toni into thinking that the new gigantic hardwood display is going in his office.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/26/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/26/2018

Michael made sure to ask me this morning if I checked Ryan's clothes for lipstick. Trust me I took out my magnifying glass and checked him over when he got home.

Tim asked me if I was dying because I went to the dermatologist yesterday, next time I apparently need to ask for his approval. 

For a mere $7.5 million you can own Michelangelo's Tuscan Villa and if any of you decide to do that I'll be moving in with you.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/realestate/you-can-buy-michelangelos-tuscan-farmhouse-for-dollar75-million/ar-AAwokCN?li=BBnbfcL#image=AAwokCN_1|1

Ashley 1.0 is going to be worthless tomorrow. She's leaving early to go on her bachelorette weekend in the San Juan Islands.

I think Michael left early to celebrate the good old days because on this day in 1977 Studio 54 opened.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/25/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/25/2018

I made the mistake of telling Tim and Michael that I got to drive the car today because my husband was invited to go on the company yacht without me. Michael told me that there were going to be strippers and BJ's, obviously he's been there before.

Fleetwood Mac is going to tour again but this time without Lindsey Buckingham. They picked up a guitarist from Tom Petty's band (who i guess had nothing better to do).

Sarah's just as bad as Toni's mother, she's trying to make us all fat with Legendary doughnuts so that she'll look super skinny next to us (which she already does).

Poor Toni, someone told him that his truck just drove by them and he was freaking out all afternoon that someone stole his baby.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/24/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/24/2018

Tim bugged a contractor long enough that they finally gave in and gave him a credit memo to make him go away.

I had to block off the front door today because everyone wanted to go outside and sunbathe in the wonderful warm sun.

One of our installers said that he thought the lady at the Four Seasons had a potty mouth...

Toni was practicing his Tom Cruise "Cocktail" bar tending skills today and all I have to say is don't try those moves on real glass bottles, that would be such a waste of alcohol. He couldn't catch his water bottle behind his back if his life depended on it.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/23/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/23/2018

Man Tim has a big mouth and he sure the heck can't keep anything a secret.

Apparently Bill was busy knitting the image that's stuck in his mind of his daughter all weekend.

Lets hope that Ashley's upcoming bachelorette weekend isn't as crazy as Toni's bachelor weekend that he just had this last weekend. I'm pretty sure his weekend makes "The Hangover" look like child's play.

*not to be construed as Gossip 

04/20/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/20/2018

Toni left early and he told me he was about to go and do a bunch of gay stuff. I'm sure it will probably be in tomorrows newspaper.

Michael is pretty sure that Tim got a special form for a four day work week. He was looking around my office so that he could have one too.

Mary's a biatch, she told Bill that she wouldn't help him clean up kid puke when Bill referred to his daughter puking like scenes from "The Exorcist".

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/19/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/19/2018

Toni has the hots for a local news anchor and apparently Nikki must know about it because she recorded Toni at the Mariners game last night drooling and waving at the woman. This is probably his woman crush so that Nikki thinks that he's straight.

Apparently Shira broke up with her boyfriend awhile ago. I guess Shira asked Typhinee if she thought he acted gay. I'm sure Typhinee came back with "What do you mean?".

You can thank Sarah for the sunshine today, she wore her sandals. Although she said she was a copy cat because Mary wore hers yesterday.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/18/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/18/2018

I'm pretty sure all of our guys compete for the best stories. Roger was telling us that he was at Starbucks yesterday and a bum asked him for a dollar. He gives the guy a dollar and the guy blurts out something about that he cut his hair short so that his mom wouldn't ask what he was doing sleeping with guys like Roger (or some crazy BS like that). Roger asked him if he gave him another dollar if he would stop talking to him and it seemed to work.

My husband was very scared that Kellen would steal his special bacon that he had shipped to our office because Kellen signed for it. I told him it was safe, Kellen only eats candy off of Sarah's desk and Typhinee's left overs.

Steve and Toni want to become factory workers. Someone though that Toni would look good in a XXL.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/17/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/17/2018

Toni was flirty with a woman named Milka today.

This is bizarre or at least to me it's bizarre when food says it has natural flavoring it is possible that natural flavoring refers to beaver anal glands aka castoreum. According to Wikipedia " while it is mainly used in foods and beverages as part of a substitute vanilla flavor,^[14] it is less commonly used as a part of a raspberry or strawberry flavoring." I'm never going to look at natural flavoring the same again. 

Toni thinks we had a good year because we have G2 pens in the closet.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/16/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/16/2018

"You're my new best friend for coming up with that pad." Tim to Bill

Riley was so excited to see Mary and Randy today. I'm very disappointed that they didn't bring the sunshine back with them and that they took the dog away from me.

When I invited Ferguson to our Founders Day BBQ he and Tim brought up the Green River killer. Maybe they think we'll dig up a body while we're there.

The "Night Court" actor Harry Anderson just died at age 65.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/13/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/13/2018

Typhinee thought that Crystal had been here because of somebodies very loud perfume.

Ashley 1.0 thinks she's slim shady today or at least her boyfriend does.

Michael said that all of the commercial guys were off today (apparently Bill doesn't count).

Katherine isn't ready to start on low carb foods diet yet. Bill said he gave her a low carb corn chip and she was super excited until she ate it and then started rubbing her tongue with her hand to make the taste go away.

What the crap "Ocean's 8" doesn't have George Clooney or Brad Pitt in it but it's all women instead? I can't lie, I'm very disappointed.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/12/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/12/2018

Michael took incriminating pictures of me this morning while I was sitting at Mary's desk. Is he going to black mail me with these?

My husband informed me that he gets to go on the company yacht without me in a few weeks, what the crap?

I think every show is getting revived this year, "Mad About You" seems to have a chance of being the next one.

One recent headline that I saw "Louisiana law to ban sex with animals wins Senate vote 25-10". I think I'll stay far away from the 10 senators who voted for it.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/11/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/11/2018

"I guess this is kind of gay." Toni to me about a snapchat he received last night from a friend showing off his new hat while totally nude.

"I could teach Tim how to do it (without any problems)." Steve complaining about installers and tsheets

Kellen saw Ashley coming out of Toni's office today and asked her if she was going home. Do people normally go home when they leave Toni's office? Or was he inviting her to go home with him?

Roger and Bill both asked me today where I got the flowers...Yes, the flowers that have been sitting on my desk for over a week now, so man-typical.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/10/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/10/2018

Riley didn't appreciate that I locked her in my office because a customer thought that her husband might step on her.

Steve offered to off someone for me. It's just an installer who couldn't manage to figure out his job numbers on t-sheets, it really should be a crime punishable by death anyways.

Toni had to drive to Bainbridge Island today, he told me that he could live there. I then asked which gay bar he found.

I have to shame my husband. We were watching the old series "The Good Guys" and I quizzed him last night and asked who the actors father is and I even gave him a few hints and he came up with nothing close. Maybe he'll remember the next time...

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/09/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/09/2018

Nobody can believe it Tim's boat is finally finished and he has it at his house. Now he has to take all of us to the San Juan Islands this summer to break it in. We'll convince him not to do a three month excursion on it next March.

Ashley #2 is officially our employee as of today.

When I went out to the car on Friday night it was 70 degrees. How come it couldn't bother getting over 50 degrees on the weekend? I guess that's the reason why Mary's leaving for Arizona this week.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/06/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/06/2018

Toni's a little confused, he says he's going to Arizona next week for Christmas.

I saw a headline about Portugal busting a gang that was smuggling glass eels to Asia from Europe. Shouldn't Europe just be happy to get rid of their eels?

Washington states national parks received a million dollar donation from someones estate recently.  Maybe Mt Rainier will now splurge for real toilets along Steven's Canyon Road instead of female urinals that I can't figure out.

Sarah's too funny, she's determined to be the cool mom that all of her sons friends will like so that he'll stay at home and hang their for the rest of his life.

Ashley 1.0 said that her boyfriend won't take her out to eat because it's too embarrassing and she gets food everywhere. Maybe if she just brought a Roomba everywhere with her he would change his mind.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/05/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/05/2018

Roger must have spread some rumors because in my dream last night Randy decided to post something about me being a whore on my facebook page.

Toni had to go and see the girl that showed him all of her bikini pictures. She apparently aslo showed him her thigh tattoos and then wanted to know if he had any, he told her no.  Luckily he heard Michael joking to someone on the phone today about tattoos and Toni realized that since he lied to the girl he needed to wear his jacket the whole time he was at the property so that she didn't see his tattoos.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/04/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/04/2018

"Apparently I'm going to help Steve's marriage by loaning him tools." Bill

Roger is very suspicious of my flowers, he thinks I'm not telling him something. I'm sure he's already spread some interesting rumors.

Ashley 1.0 is sure making up weird excuses as to why she's going to Friday Harbor later this month. I told her to come up with another excuse because I wasn't buying her first one. By the end of the conversation Bill decided that he is going to have her sing in song all day Friday if she really wants to go.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/03/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/03/2018

I'm not sure what our commercial guys are planning to do to me but they gave me flowers to butter me up today.

Toni promised Tim a man date next week and they were adamant about going to a truck stop.

Toni gave me flowers from his office today too and now I feel like a flower whore.

Tim was giving Bill crap about his tote that he carries around and Bill knocked him clean out of the park by saying that basically Tim didn't have a leg to stand on because we've all seen him in a bunny outfit. I don't think he's ever going to live that one down.

*not to be construed as Gossip

04/02/2018

The Daily Chatter*

04/02/2018

Toni went to a wedding this weekend for a gay guy getting married to some young sassy woman. I'm taking bets on how that ends and when that ends.

Ashley's a copy cat, she claims she had a doctors appointment so that she could leave early when the sun came out today.

A solicitor left a message today that he had to speak to one of the owners about the wholesale conversion that's happening next week. Why am I always the last to know and what is a wholesale conversion?

*not to be construed as Gossip