05/29/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/29/2020

Bill thinks that Steve has turned into a bigger aSShole lately especially with his scheduling duties.

Ashley's tired of being the only person here who keeps getting viruses from downloading porn.

Matt was telling us about a man who was arrested who had a very odd fetish with other peoples stolen sandals and after reading the article I think it's even odder than he described.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/11712354/randy-weirdo-with-flip-flop-fetish-stole-pairs/

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/28/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/28/2020

Michael told me that I need to step up his seducing game and next time pie might be the better option for his birthday.

I told my husband that I was holding Larry at work today and I think he became a little concerned until I told him that Larry was a dog.

What is proper Covid etiquette when holding somebody else's dog at work, am I supposed to wear a mask to protect Larry or should Larry wear a mask to protect me?

Michael called Steve and Ashley racist today all because they were sharing secrets about Michael today during a meeting instead of listening to him.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/27/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/27/2020

Why don't men ever learn? Women don't want men washing their clothes. Roxanne told Bill that she needs all new clothes because Bill did the laundry this morning.

Poor Tim is crippled today because he rowed his boat on Monday.

Bill told Ashley if she was going to go to the warehouse without a mask on she needs to hold her breath the whole time.

Bill thinks the car parade that came by today was for his retirement party.

I love how Toni walks away after he eludes to knowing juicy gossip.

It was very convenient for Steve to leave his phone at home at lunch so that he could leave early to go home and get it and not come back.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/26/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/26/2020

Happy Birthday Michael!

Tim managed to get himself kicked off an island over the holiday weekend.

The most exciting part of my weekend besides getting out to hike was actually sitting down and eating in a real restaurant.

Bill laughed at me when he realized that it cost me money letting my husband come to the office and because of Ashley telling my husband about paddle boarding while he was here we had to have our own so that's what was delivered today.

Michael thinks that I increased his chances of getting laid tonight, what can I say besides all in a days work.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/22/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/22/20202

I think Steve took my day off for me, I was supposed to have today off but my plans changed.

Leave it to Sarah to scare off Bill today after she walked in at noon.

Don't forget to watch our World's Greatest television episode on Ion TV at 6 am on Monday morning!

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/21/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/21/2020

Steve's daughter was relieved to hear that Linked In was not a dating site after she realized that her dad's name pulled up on it.

Michael didn't mind me taking his anal temperature this morning before going out into the warehouse. I hope he doesn't tell our installers that I'm offering that service now otherwise I'm sure Marty will be in line for it tomorrow.

Steve finally saw his sign (that's been there since Tuesday) in the men's bathroom on the toilet paper.

I accused Steve and Ashley of stealing toilet paper but turns out I forgot about the warehouse bathroom. Yes, I've turned into the TP Nazi around here.

Michael told us that he had a camera in the women's bathroom so Ashley is now covering any hole in the ceiling with a piece of paper.

I read through what they think are going to be the new rules for Major League Baseball and I thought I was reading "The Onion"...no spitting, no showering, no team mascots, no touching your face to give signals, no socializing with opponents, no high fives...pretty much no nothing and so un-American.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/20/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/20/2020

Freaking Tim and his identity theft crap, they only seem to want his unemployment checks. Bill made the comment that the impostors are now getting their unemployment checks faster than Mary's brother.

Does Michael realize that he has Jason's old office phone? I really don't think he does otherwise I would expect it to be a million pieces.

I have absolutely nothing for the Chatter today and it's all Tim's fault between all of his orders that are keeping us in business but needed extra attention and then his dang fraud crap.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/18/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/18/2020

The office people are feeling a little banned from the warehouse right now. It's getting confusing, Bill's talking about safe and unsafe zones and Tim only wants new rules because he's not going to abide by the old ones.

Bill's resentful that his kids are so cute because now people want them in their wedding, that he doesn't want to go to in the middle of August. Roxanne this is all of your fault.

Poor Bill thinks that once the show airs that he's going to need a special boob signing pen. I hope he's googled the best pens for that purpose.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/15/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/15/2020

Ashley accused me of having the place bugged this morning because Steve called her out on tattling on him but Steve technically ratted himself out to me. 

According to Pat I didn't give out W-2's this year so don't expect to be able to do your taxes. 

*not to be construed as Gossip 

05/14/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/14/2020

Steve's back and he seems to be blaming everyone for all of his issues: his printer issues he automatically accused Ashley and Michael of foul play, his daughters broken arm he blamed his wife naturally and everything work related he blamed people who weren't even here.

It's very sweet how all of you guys are making me feel needed because you can't find anything in the supply closet. Thank-you all for giving me something to do today.

Tim said that he can't deal with pissing me off but he can deal with pissing Ashley off, I feel so fortunate.

Tim's grand kids just got to experience his Ring doorbell and didn't understand why he wouldn't open the door since they could hear him.

Ashley caught Steve taking a roll of toilet paper, Steve gave me some lame story that he's down to only one roll in his house.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/13/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/13/2020

Bill's daughter wasn't happy last night when he goofed up cooking the Mexican rice for dinner she told him "Daddy this isn't right" and then she left.

Something's wrong with Toni, he didn't back in his car today.

Somebody (one of Toni's customers) has a new nickname for Toni "The Creveler".

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/12/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/12/2020

I asked Bill if we were going to have a World's Greatest premier party at 6 am but then I realized our episode airs on Memorial Day and hopefully just hopefully I'll be hiking in Oregon if things open by then.

Tim has offered to throw a girls only get together for us which was so considerate of him.

Sarah graced us with her presence today just long enough for Tim to yell at her to get some more work.

Josh and Matt are complaining about the cheap room that I blame Bill and Steve for letting me book. They wanted to know if the company would reimburse them for the hookers who come to the hotel parking lot.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/11/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/11/2020

Happy Birthday Mary!

Bill said that he stumped Roger on Seinfeld trivia this morning which is very unlike Roger.

Ashley tried to cook her fish for ten minutes in the microwave today and luckily Bill caught her mistake before the whole office smelled like her lunch. Bill reminded all of us that Ashley's apartment didn't come with a microwave so she's very inexperienced.

Now Steve's injuring his kids just to take days off.

I just realized that our television appearances that are going to make us all famous air at 6am in the morning on ION television on 5/25/20 and it reruns on 06/08/20 at the same freaking time.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/08/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/08/2020

Happy Birthday to my amazing husband.

Bill told me to buy depends today but luckily it was only his response to getting out and hiking without any bathrooms being open.

"I've never had sex with my brother." Steve

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/07/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/07/2020

Thanks to Tim's crappy attitude, Bill said he was going to go out and start measuring card board boxes for his family to live in.

I think the Jimmy John's driver was trying to tick me off when he left my sandwich at the door. I couldn't open the door out without squishing it, jerk.

Just to liven up the place I considered (for about ten seconds) pole dancing for everyone just like Faith recommended.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/06/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/06/2020

Sheesh, it's a good thing that my husband is leaving the office after today, I think he's telling everyone all of my secrets. I walked  into the break room this morning and he's talking to Ashley about how one drink took me out last night.

Tim promised us a picture of a thermometer stuck up his butt today but I never got that one.

Steve got lost today because he didn't allow Michael to micromanage him.

Bill was sounding like an old man today complaining about the rain washing away all of the chemicals he put in his lawn.

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/05/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/05/2020

Faith feels like we're pimping her out to one of the Costco dealers to show them how to do their scheduling.

I think this pretty much sums up why we all need to be still hoarding toilet paper and drinking more.

Speaking of drinking more, how did Michael know that we were going to start our Cinco de Mayo party just as soon as he left?

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/04/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/04/2020

Michael is my favorite today, Howard was mentioning that he knew me when I turned 21 and Michael said that was only six years ago.

Toni had quite an exciting week, many people were arrested in connection to his mailbox thefts.

Ashley just added a criteria for finding a man, he must own a sail boat. I'm all for it because she's going to have to take me out on the water.

When nobody shows up to work tomorrow even though it's the start of Cinco de Mayo, remember everyone is out fishing...

*not to be construed as Gossip

05/01/2020

The Daily Chatter*

05/01/2020

Steve and I caught Bill in a huge lie today. He had the nerve to tell us that he fired Jason in January.....Christmas didn't come for me until the end of February, I remember it very vividly.

I think all of our guys are going to be fishing on Tuesday morning so us women will have the whole place to ourselves. We'll just have our Covid-19 Cinco de Mayo party without the guys and make special masks in order to commemorate our event.

The guys already hate Steve for making them wear masks at the shop.

*not to be construed as Gossip