Archived 02-27-2013

 

Toni had to ask Bill what a nooner was yesterday. I figured he was just playing stupid to get more information out of Bill but then I sent him the definition and he apparently has sex with his “Kosher food” everyday at lunch so he still doesn’t understand what Bill was doing yesterday.

 

Poor Tim’s so screwed up from coming back from vacation on a Tuesday.

 

Howard says that Vance doesn’t know how to park. I thought being the parking police was Steve’s job.

 

Roger wants all of us to baby him again because he thinks he’s catching a cold now.

 

 

I told Bill that I might be dying because my hands are cold. If I die Ryan’s going to think it was only to get out of my eye doctors appointment this weekend.

 

Tim’s already using softball as an excuse to leave the office early.

 

“Don’t ask too many questions.” Bill to Toni  Then Bill proceeded to tell Toni about the last guy who asked too many questions.

 

Toni may die if he doesn’t find his watch.

 

I’m pretty sure Toni said his nickname somewhere was one ball. I’m hoping that I heard him wrong.

Archived 02-28-2013

 

 

2/28/2013

 

Rick and Roger have apparently been together because Rick seems to be sick too.

 

Marty told me he’s been waiting for me his whole life, along with any other woman he sees.

 

I asked Bill who he seduced last night with hot chocolate but he didn’t respond. Then Toni noticed that everything on his desk had been pushed off so we know where Bill was with his woman friend.

 

Matt and Steve were teaching Roger new words today. Dot better watch out!

 

Matt and Steve also revealed that they slept together once and it wasn’t innocent because they were both naked.

 

Mary thinks 5 people can sleep on her desk.

 

Tim called Roger one of the ladies this morning.

 

 Turns out Bill sent Toni a picture of him doing it on his desk late last night.

 

Bill’s cleaner writes his name inside of his clothes which I find creepy.

 

I found Bill some “apartment pants” that have a built in keyboard.

 

Bill informed Mary that The Pony Keg is more of a dive than The Spot so of course this intrigued Mary in her search to find the worst bar dive ever.

 

Roger claims he forgets who’s mad at him.

 

Poor Toni’s going to be heartbroken that Christian Slate is now engaged.

 

Tim thought I should be mad at him.

 

Roger’s denying the “whole f*cking thing” about the Amish porn conversation that apparently didn’t happen at lunch.

 

Rick thinks he’s going to die, convenient since I thought I was going to die yesterday. I think he’s trying to one up me. I told him to hire Roger to make his tombstone because he just came up with a great one for somebody else. Then he suggested Toni for making his casket.

 

Bill and Roger were arguing over somebody’s large rack today at lunch.

 

Apparently Tim thinks I’m emotionally unstable probably because I forgot to take my Claritin today.

 

Roger wants me to try being nicer to Toni.

 

Roger accused Matt to his face of being high all of the time.

 

Mary likes hairy chests but just doesn’t want to see it coming out a guy’s shirt.

 

Toni says he’s been itching. I hope Roger didn’t catch his crabs today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Archived 03-01-2013

 

 3/1/2013

 

Bill’s car must be at the detailing shop because he has a rental. I’m assuming he got it on in there the other night after doing it on Toni’s desk and who knows where else.

 

Steve was upset that Toni wasn’t here today to make him coffee.

 

I think Toni’s girlfriend next door is cheating on him; she was trying to set the mood this morning with music and without Toni there.

 

Steve had a weird dream about someone sleeping with Bill’s sister and then he had to tell Bill all about it.

 

Steve says Toni’s desk is awesome for sex because it has some spring to it and it does all the work for you. So apparently everyone likes Toni’s desk.

 

Steve’s not friends with Canadian’s.

 

Tim and Rick think the backroom deserves some more attention. I think they want strippers and pole dancers back there. We don’t have a pole installed yet but I heard Mary tell someone yesterday that she doesn’t need a pole.

 

I think Tim is related and knows everyone.

 

Roger thinks I’m a buzz kill. Well I think Roger’s a jerk but I should probably refer to him as a tosser or a bloke since he’s going to London soon.