06/30/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/30/2020

Michael had to point out what Steve needs to do after his surgery, needless to say I will be knocking on his door before entering especially if Michael or Toni are in there with him.

Toni claims he was playing a video game and got up to go to the fridge and the next thing he knows his wife was yelling at him while she was on a zoom call asking him if he was watching porn because some very graphic things were happening on the screen.

Thanks to Sarah for pointing out that the next five months the first letter of the month spell out the word Jason. No, I'm still not changing my mind about him.

*not to be construed as Gossip 

06/29/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/29/20202

Steve's definitely milking it today. I bet he's going to make us buy him alcohol if he comes to work tomorrow.

Bill's very concerned about the artificial sweetener shortage problem and he feels like nobody is talking about it. Maybe he should protest about it at CHOP.

Toni's vein was sticking out on his forehead today when he and Bill were arguing about three cylinder cars.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/26/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/26/2020

Ashley's pretty sure that we're only keeping her long enough to complete the Oregon contractors test.

Men are disgusting, Toni said that he counted the boogers above the urinal today.

Bill and I found a way for Steve not to take the afternoon off for his appointment. We gave him a Vasectomy DIY kit but I think he got mad at us for giving him an extra small band aid.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/25/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/25/2020

"I don't like how nice everyone is." Bill about Vancouver

Tim thought that the search options in RFMS changed because his numbers lock button has been off for more than a week.

"You're even worse than what you describe." Bill to Tim

Leave it to Bill's father to come in today and tick him off that he had to make a new sign for all of the doors.

Bill told Roger that he needed to write about his life stories and Roger didn't want to so we threatened Roger that if he didn't write them that we would.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/24/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/24/2020

"Any woman who accepts a drink from Bill Cosby now kind of has it coming to her." Bill after I mentioned that Bill Cosby gets to appeal his case.

Bill said he was asked to join a group of women entrepreneurs and I told him it is Pride month and it makes total sense.

Steve almost threatened to burn down somebodies house today for not leaving him alone. Note to self don't provoke the man, I would like to keep my home.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/23/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/23/2020

Toni enticed most of us today to join a cult that's been around since the 1960's called Order of Nine Angles, it's a Satanic, Nazi loving terrorist group that encourages human sacrifice that has their own star symbol that Bill thinks that his son can actually draw.

Who would have thought that our AC wasn't working because of batteries in the thermostat this morning. Sorry for letting the office get to 80.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/19/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/19/2020

"I've given up on millennials." Bill

A miracle happened yesterday, not like the Christmas miracle that happened on 3/20/20 but none the less a miracle, Tim wore his mask inside the office.

Bill was pretty sure that Kahlua (Ashley's dog) could do CPR with the way that she was bouncing off the door today.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/17/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/17/2020

Bill told Toni that he's a little bit of a hot head.

It scares me when Michael tells me that there are magical things on his orders in RFMS.

"You kind of turned me on." Bill to John but then Bill ruined it by saying that he didn't have any faith in Generation X and their technology skills so needless to say there won't be a date.

To everyone who is confusing Ashley's weekends, this weekend is not her camping trip, it's her Leavenworth trip and she will have very colorful hair in her pictures.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/16/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/16/2020

Bill thought that his wife's texts made it sound like there were plumbing problems but then he realized that's only her flirting with him.

Michael finally realized that now that he has his own office, he can have his very own dance pole for his Magistical Michael shows. I have a feeling that we have some exciting shows coming from him soon.

Mary left Randy at his procedure today that the doctors office forgot to put on their schedule (but luckily they did get him in late) and then Mary tried forgetting him and came into work, that poor abused man.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/15/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/15/2020

Roxanne's been holding out on us, she had been escorting around firemen and she didn't invite any of us to the party.

Bill called me a bitch for trying to add a workday to the week last week.

Tim made fun of my hooker boots today but I'll cut him some slack since I'm sure he was exhausted from shoveling horse sh*t at his second wife's home because she broke her leg. I want to know, if I break my leg will Tim do my job for me?

Ashley and I both ended up going to Mt Rainier yesterday. Ryan and I ended up going to the visitor center at Paradise and it was 32 degrees and snowing and luckily for Ashley and her little dog it wasn't where she ended up at Silver Falls.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/09/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/09/2020

Bill thinks that Michael would be great at arson, just in case anyone needs that service.

I think Tim talked Steve into going on "Survivor".

Somebody told Toni that he looks like a ninja with a face mask on.

"My wife's car is like Monica's closet." Bill

Bill received a call that his Enumclaw house had been on fire but it turns out it was the neighbors. It might have solved some issues if it had burned down so very unfortunate for somebody to get Bill's hopes up.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/08/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/08/2020

"I think Tim's gone, we can all take off our masks now." Bill

Faith told me that it looks like somebody died because her office and my office are covered in flowers from our Birthday's.

I love that my co-workers are insensitive pricks like I am. FYI, don't ask what Bill did over the weekend to show his support.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/05/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/05/2020

Ashley's ticked that Bud's still sick and was out today because he was supposed to repay her with Thai food for last Friday. It's good to know that she doesn't forget a thing.

According to Sarah, Marty couldn't hear his phone because of his new pornstache.

"If I were looting, I would steal a cheesecake." Sarah

Happy Birthday to Tim and Faith who have birthdays over the weekend.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/04/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/04/2020

Steve told Ashley this morning that she has her own Kellen.

Roger made a surprise appearance today and luckily Tim and Bill were here too (because they were steps from heading out the door).

Steve sure gets grumpy when he has to do somebody else's job.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/03/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/03/2020

Ashley, Faith and I thought we heard a dog and I was sorely disappointed that it was just the squeaking of Michael's shoes. In fact Michael read the disappointment on my face and was thoroughly confused.

Now Mary's sick, masks aren't working so we're going to need sanitizing stations at every entrance. I think tomorrow needs to be Tequila Thursday especially since Bill won't be here.

*not to be construed as Gossip

06/01/2020

The Daily Chatter*

06/01/2020

Thank-you Ashley for risking your life on a ladder for my birthday decorations today.

Toni's hooking up with Michael because of the car he drove into work today.

The big question of the day is why are half of our guys sick with the same thing if we've been extra careful in trying to protect ourselves from Covid.

*not to be construed as Gossip