12/30/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/30/2019

Sarah wasn't supposed to be in today and then she came in and depressed all of us so Bill told her to take the next few days off.

Steve was so impressed that our Christmas Party is going to be on his birthday on the 17th that he's threatening to go to a movie instead of the party.

Tim has too much time on his hands right now, he started a Nerf gun fight. He obviously needs to be out selling or planning his company social event. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/27/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/27/2019

Apparently Sarah got ripped a new one for buying her son the wrong hammer for Christmas.

Michael thinks that I was the ring leader who made him look bad at our Secret Santa gift exchange but technically that was Tim for not remembering what his job was.

Some people just don't appreciate our medical advice around here.

I was shocked to find out that the woman who hates football worse than I do (Sarah) is excited for Marshawn Lynch to be back because she has his jersey.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/23/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/23/2019

Toni told Bill that girls are smarter than boys and Bill didn't want to understand.

According to Faith I'm always fun to look at. I think maybe she had one too many pain pills today.

Typh told Steve that he looks like a disguised pedophile because he cut off his beard but still has the long hair.

I think Tim's going to join the Mason's, the Elk's and whatever other group he can find his way into to figure out what they actually do at their meetings.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/20/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/20/2019

Marty thought that a few of us were talking dirty about him before he walked into the shop with whipped cream all over his face. That definitely happened after I saw that.

Bill warned Steve about having kids today...remembering that Tim is always right on that subject.

I really want to hear the conversation when Steve tells his wife that the women in his office gave him a speculum at the gift exchange.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/19/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/19/2019

Typhinee thinks I'm a freak because I can smell one of her candles in my office even when the bay door is open.

Steve accused Marty of being grumpy but from the sounds of things Marty made Steve very grumpy too.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/18/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/18/2019

I couldn't find Bill this morning and it turns out he was at a bathhouse with Toni.

"You looking like a dick has nothing to do with this project." Bill to Steve

We discovered that if  we get the Jewish bath house job we can't tell the guys what they do in those until after they do the job because even Toni was disgusted.

Toni had quite the day, not only did he learn about what a Mikveh is but he got to go into a porn shop with Steve to look for a gift. I can only imagine the two of them together in a porn shop. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/17/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/17/2019

Bill told me that I would love the landlord that he met with, he's Australian (ok English according to Michael) and an ex-Sounder. Turns out he's also related through marriage to Michael.

If you see glitter and jewels everywhere tomorrow, don't ask questions.

Poor Michael, even his own clients would rather email Tim than him.

Interesting Sarah and Roger seem to have the same thought processes about stepping into churches and she did actually survive today.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/16/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/16/2019

"If it's not about me, then I don't care." Bill

"I hate when I send my mom a text that was intended for my wife." Bill

Toni was turned on when he realized that Veronica's husband works for Stanley Steamer. Obviously he figured out a new role play character for the bedroom.

Sarah's son thought that he was going blind today and Bill told Sarah that she was a horrible parent and I told Sarah she should just crochet her son an eye patch instead of the scarf she's making. I'm not sure why she thinks her coworkers are a$$holes.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/13/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/13/2019

Marty sure loves this time of year when I have my leg lamp lights up and he can talk about my legs.

Ashley and Sarah are going to Leavenworth tomorrow for the tree lighting and I'm pretty sure that Ashley's going to need us to talk very quietly to her on Monday.

I can't believe that our Christmas gift exchange is only a week away.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/12/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/12/2019

"I have small breasts like a dove." Toni

Bud thinks that my sweater today is BCM colored and I actually agree with him.

Toni's news crush is Jordan Wilkerson (and it's a woman).

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/11/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/11/2019

"I really want to believe you." Mary to Bill

Steve sent an email that he would be working from home today while he was here in his pajama's and slippers. I think the poor man was confused as to where his home was.

Bill told me that I couldn't pull a prank on Faith today because she's too sweet. Wait until he hears about her cat story.

Bill asked Toni why he went to a kids wrestling tournament, he thought it sounded kind of pedophilish.

I found out yesterday that I really failed at the cat art in the commercial office because somebody did it way better than I did. The nice thing is Tim's on vacation until next week so I have time to step up my game.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/10/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/10/2019

Roxanne has Jury duty today and Bill thinks that she's going to love to stand in judgment over someone else.

Sarah thinks that she's getting a new puppy.

One of our reps just called himself Mr. Mullet in Toni's email and Toni thinks he knows that the guy really likes his rocking mullet.

Pho restaurants apparently remind Toni of the happy times with Joseph. Bill on the other hand couldn't remember who Joseph was until we reminded him that he was the guy he fired.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/09/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/09/2019

Don't ask Sarah to go caroling with her that doesn't seem to bring out her Christmas Spirit.

Steve tried touching his brothers husband ass making some excuse that he wanted to touch his flannel.

Rachel Green's father died over the weekend. The thing I didn't know was that in real life he was married to the mother on "Arrested Development".

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/06/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/06/2019

"Thank-you for your usual brief answers." Sarah to Bill

Sarah's son seems to love her to infinity only because he doesn't know how well he did on his Spanish test. Then on top of it he told her that the text wasn't for her.

Steve may have screwed up his second youngest daughter.

Mary's parking job really seemed to be the topic of conversation today.

Veronica says that her mother doesn't know that she smokes and apparently I can't tell her that tonight.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/05/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/05/2019

Tim's trip to Sequim sounded kinky, I questioned if his "friend" was really a chiropractor.

Michael thinks that I can't be trusted with anybody's secrets, he absolutely doesn't trust me to know which secret Santa gift will be from him on the 20th even though he will be hunting that day.

I think Bud is chickening out the Holiday Paint Night After Party, he's claiming to get sick probably so that he can go home early and miss my horrible door picture advertisement scene. 

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/04/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/04/2019

The back issues seem to be contagious this week around here. At least people aren't all sitting like Tim in their chairs.

Tim and Michael sure know how to hold grudges against each other. Apparently they are feuding this week over past wedding unvites.

"Tim going to Sequim to see a chiropractor is like when Kellen went to Spokane to get his hair cut." Bill

"Did you have a stroke in the middle of this?" Bill to Steve

Bill and I think that Tim lost his wireless earbuds once Sarah was added to their office so that he could put all of his calls on speaker phone and talk about having monkey sex to his wife.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/03/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/03/2019

Leave it to Toni to get in the Christmas spirit and tell one of his family members how to kill himself in a group text.

Sarah wanted to know if there was an official card to sign for my husband congratulating him on winning the fight over the huge popcorn maker at home. I sincerely hope that it doesn't fit in the car and we have to send it back.

Tim would like the world to know that he has a parking spot, it is not marked but it is his.

*not to be construed as Gossip

12/02/2019

The Daily Chatter*

12/02/2019

According to Bill Argosy cruises has lots of drunk college kids which is something that Ashley would love to hear about.

Toni found his staple gun on the bumper of his car this morning, after he got to work.

"You could hide a small family of baby bats in your beard." Toni to Steve

Tim seems to be defective right now.

Toni wants to plan next years Christmas Party so we'll probably be at a male strip club, perfect.

Speaking of male strip clubs, I was very disappointed that Michael didn't bring me any ass on Friday.

*not to be construed as Gossip